Why Don't I Have A Boyfriend?

reason #14,212

I get requests

Just call me PORN DETECTIVE. I occasionally get emails from folks (ok, from guys, 99.4% of the time!) looking for a movie, or info on a fave porn star. Today was videos by Target Studios. Racking my brain, I could only recall them making magazines, and having good quality photography of such stars as Bruno, and others from the 70's. So, I wrote the guy back, asking if he had any titles. He sent a scan of an ad from an old magazine, and I immediately recognized some of the films, and used my Bijou Video Guide to confirm my suspicions - that these films were later transferred to video and released by BULLET in their BULLET VIDEOPAC series ( I have #6, with Bruno and Will Seagers, and I thought I had the one with Bruno and Roger).

I love figuring this stuff out; as I am struggling to update my pages on my favorite Directors, Video Collection, and Video Wish List, I'm finding getting accurate dates is really tough. Often the video boxes list a date that is wrong, because they date it by when the video was released, not when the original film was made - for example, the Bullet Videopac 6 I have says 1983, but I know the films were actually produced in the late 70's. And with the emails I get, if I can't figure them out, I hold onto them in case some time later I can - I have a whole backlog of cool questions about music used in various old films/videos - one of my favorite subjects. Careful With That Ax, Eugene by Pink Floyd in Gemini; Johnny Cash tunes in Dreamer (can't get that version of the video anymore, the songs have been taken out, but I have an old copy, yeah!); some films used original music made specifically for the movie, like in many of Arthur J. Bressan, Jr.'s films, and Joe Gage (several of his have great soundtracks by Man Parrish). Someday I'll get around to posting some of the requests/questions I haven't been able to answer, like "What is the bluegrass music playing in the orgy in the van scene in L. A. Tool & Die?"

SWALLOW ME SAFE

got this email thru one of the many lovely on-line gay "dating" services:

Im interested in being sucked and swallowed.
check my profile and let me know
Seb

hmmmm, I'm curious, let me check his profile and see what kind of man I'm gonna swallow........ doh dee doh dee dum dee dum.....
click click click; ah, here we go:

I'm looking for a masculine guy to be naked,
to watch and be watched,
to touch and be touched, j/o ... hot and safe.
muscular +++

Gosh, I really miss the 80's and 90's. "SAFE" meant jerking off - "on me, not in me"; and of course, "SAFER" meant fucking with a latex condom, with lube that includes Nonoxynol-9, or sucking if you don't cum in your partner's mouth.

But today, SAFE, apparently, is a variation on the 68 position (you know, "you blow me, I'll owe you 1") - now it's "I'll fuck your face, shoot a load down your throat, I'm safe" - lovely.

Probably my favorite on-line queer writer is QUEER SCRIBBLES - he's a fantastic writer, very sex-positive, and amazingly thought-provoking. I can't tell you how many times I've read him, and days later I am still thinking about how right-on-target he is. Over a week ago he wrote an excellent piece, and you should go read it NOW. It's more complex than the passage I am about to quote, but, in the world of cheap sleazy casual sex that I try to enjoy, I still can't beleive how few people subscribe to this simple, basic premise:

I have long believed that your HIV status is your business, not mine; I don’t need to know whether you’re positive or not—I just need to have sex with you as if you are. My erotic life is premised on this rudiment of Safer Sex.

he goes on to add: While that keeps things fairly simple for me personally, among gay men the practice of Safer Sex is not as widespread as it once was.

Like I said, read the whole piece. I feel like I am in this really weird tiny minority, probably due to my being on-line way too much, perhaps - squished somewhere between the PNP (Party and Play), Barebacking, Fistfucking, The More The Merrier, etc etc, on the one hand; and these guys who do the whole "HIV- UB2" thing, on the other. Maybe I am stuck in some sort of time warp, where I don't quite get the so-called "miracle drugs" that claim to make AIDS a chronic, manageable disease. (AH, just add these few dozen pills to my regimen of Viagra and Xstacy) And maybe I am also too stuck on the old HIV test results are only as good as 6-months before you took it - But there are folks who are content to just ask a stranger a couple quick questions and feel they are "playing safe" - why trust a stranger to tell you his status and be honest, let alone accurate?? UGH. And one on-line "dating service" has updated their ads so you can click a button to indicate your HIV status - which shows up as GLOWING RED if you are POZ, and GLOWING GREEN if you are NEG. Cute, eh?

Clay Russell to Bjork

Speaking of 6 DEGREES, late Friday night I was working on updating my video collection page, and I pop in a video called Behind The Greek Door. It's from 1975, and while I really just want to check the credits so I can type it up, I remember that this must've been one of Clay Russell's first films (you may remember him from such movies as El Paso Wrecking Corp, The Boys of Venice, and Heatstroke). Here, however, he's not all shaved like he was in many of his mid-80's movies, but he's got a fuckin' rug on his chest, hair on his back, and his shoulders! (But the box cover art shows him with a smooth chest!) So, I'm enjoying the film, and it goes into the next scene, where the frat pledge has to have sex with all his brothers as part of his initiation (poor kid!) and the background music sounds like the theme from 2001: A Space Odyssey. But no, it isn't, exactly- is it a discofied version? Actually more jazz-funk than disco, so of course I go to Audiogalaxy to see what I can find. And of course Google, to see if I can figure out who did it, rather than download 16 different versions. So, between the 2 resources, I finally get to hear the downloaded song, and that's it! It's really great (I know, it might be hard to get worked up for the 2001 theme, but the musicianship is great - Stanley Clarke, Ron Carter , Billy Cobham, Ray Barretto, and others - ) - from Brazilian pianist & arranger Eumir Deodato's album Prelude. Maybe you know this already, but the 2001 theme is borrowed from a longer piece from Richard Strauss titled "Also Spracht Zarathustra". Strauss got his title from a work by Nietszche (Thus Spoke Zarathustra) - about a man who lived among people for most of his life, went to a mountain cave for ten years, and then came back down to the world and witnesses the madness and insanity there - which is why Stanley Kubrick used this at the beginning of his film. In 1973, Deodato reworked the original Strauss into a quite groovy, grammy-winning hit!

Now, if you've been paying attention to my ramblings, you'll remember that back in 1995 or '96, Bjork was looking for a song to do for the RED HOT + RIO benefit album, and Milton Nascimento's Travessia introduced Bjork to the work of arranger Eumir Deodato. While her recording of that song never made it on the album, Deodato did produce and arrange a whole new version of Isobel from Bjork's second solo album, Post, that made it to a CD-single, and the 1996 Bjork remix album Telegram, which is pretty groovy, since he worked with Kool and the Gang in 1979 to give their career a boost . On her 1997 album, Homogenic, Deodato worked on most of the songs, including Hunter, Joga, and Bachelorette.

So, if you're not ready to hear Also Sprach Zarathustra (the 2001 Theme) all jazzed-up, I would highly recommend September 13, from the same album.

Subj: velcro cock ring
Date: 1/28/02 11:30:20 PM Eastern Standard Time
From: rose@____________.com
To: bjland7820@aol.com

Hi,

We saw your ad on e-bay and have never used one
of these before. Wanted to take you up on the
pic offer to see it's placement.

Could you tell me what "exactly" it is intended
to do ? I am assuming it's to extend the
erection time ? We are shopping for several sex
toys for the first time ! All our friends have
them but really don't have, you know, people to
ask advice on these things....

Ok, back to e-bay page to search for dildo !
Let me know...actually I will go check your
other auctions.

thanks in advance,

May Love & Joy weave
themselves into the tapestry
of your life.

funny how I don't ever remember saying how much I love DONOVAN (no, not chad, but plain ol' DONOVAN), but he's the first track on this disc, which is sooooooooo perfect for the grey skies, clean up the apartment, and remember you've got a great friend out there in the Midwest kinda day.

UPBIG7 [12:12 PM]: 30 5'7' br/br nice body great sweet latin ass
8"un and thick do it all only play it safe
trade x?
BJland: [12:14]: what, no hello first?

Seriously, it was an amazing TV show. I would've loved so much to have one of those huge-ass big-screen tv's, ya know? I don't think I've ever shouted HOLY SHIT and OH MY GOD so many times in my life (not whilst alone, anyway). 2 hours of the first 4 hours of BLUE PLANET were on last night, and I was in total awe watching those penguins huddle, dive, throw their bodies up out of the ocean trying to get onto those rocks, etc. The Belugas, one of my fave animals (giraffes and lemurs being the others) were of course wonderful, but the polar bear scenes were scarey (yeah, I know, they gotta eat...). Even if you're not an animal freak, the photography was so impressive. And, while quite horrifying, the sequence with the grey whale and her calf migrating up the coast and being attacked by Orcas was breathtaking - I was in tears, of course, hoping for some sort of escape for the calf, but, alas, that didn't happen. I immediately went to the website, wanting to see if a video/dvd was available -30/40 bucks, and not ready yet. I've got to see this show again without commercials, and that stupid logo at the bottom of the screen. Tonight are 2 more hours, and I think all 4 hours are being re-run on Friday.

Discovery Channel's BLUE PLANET is F***IN' AMAZING! ........and I've only watched 15 minutes so far.

The phone rings, and it's the cockring guy. No, not a guy who wears them, but the guy who makes them, and sells them; he'll be here late tomorrow afternoon, hopefully with some red leather ones (I'm thinking Valentine's Day, not that it will affect me other than 1/2 price chocolate on Feb 15th....) So, knowing I had a post half-done from last night, I realized I had no energy to finish it up just yet. Coffee, mmmm, it's coming, and then I realized, KEEE-RIST! I NEVER HAVE SEX ON THE WEEKENDS. I don't have some great Saturday Night sex story to share, just some porn-movie soundtrack research I was doing til 3 a.m. So, rather than get my knickers in a twist over my lack of weekend sex (What the hell was I dreaming about, why am i using stupid English expressions?), I'm just gonna surf around the blogboys while I wake up, and eventually head out to brunch with a pal (he's married, but he promised to leave the BF home so we could talk about..... about what? I don't remember).

But this is amusing, remembering that this guy had promised 10 Inch cocks a few days back, I found the bookmark, and was shocked to read, not only does he mention only one ten-incher, but, apparently, this guy with the cool new design has been celebate for 2 years! (See, it's so shocking I can't even spell it!). At 30, I figured Mr Froot would be too young for one of my blogcrushes (although several thousand miles away is usually the main criteria), but looking at the fine print, I see he's got greying hair - yummmmmmmmmmm! Can you imagine having sex with someone who hasn't done it for 2 years? Oh gosh, while on the one hand it could be really great, all that pent-up energy, but then, on the other hand, I suffer from terrible performance anxiety no matter who I am with, can you imagine having to live up to "I HAVEN'T DONE IT FOR 2 YEARS, YOU BETTER BE GOOD"??? yikes!

The third single and music video from Vespertine, Cocoon directed by Eiko Ishioka, while filmed last spring, isn't expected to be released until February or March. Ishioka is most recently famous for her amazing scenography and costume work in 'The Cell' and Bram Stoker's 'Dracula'. In the messageboards at bjork.com/unity, some fans worry that the expected visuals for the video will overtake the unassuming quiet beauty of the song itself, the second track on the album. Having seen it performed live 3 times this past fall, plus countless late nights sitting quietly in the dark listening, I can see the point. Also amazing was the performance on Jay Leno's show, which I just happen to have ( e-mail me for a copy, but be aware, at 42mb's, it's a big file) - which I highly recommend seeing. Stiill, you know I'm checking her website everyday for any news on the release - here's 2 variations on the tune, since I'm sure you already have the original.

Cocoon, live

Cocoon, unofficial remix

"I'm No Fag Hag" Squeals Pig

nycpig

pierced, tattoed, a +

ahotnfurryguy

baby!

While I knew the going-for-a-ride-on-my-bike idea may well, after 5 minutes, turn into a hunt-for-cock, or a late-night-beer, or a pot-smoking-and-eating-everything-in-sight night, I didn't, however, anticapate that I'd do all of it. COCK; check. Bike ride to lower Manhattan with Vespertine on the walkman, cold cold wind in my face and a rush of seemingly unrelated, powerful emotions while getting lost amongst the empty streets down there, check. Beer at 3 am, getting kicked out of The Phoenix after closing, and showing Bjork videos to a pal and smoking more dope at 5.am., check. Waking up at noon and him calling his boss to say he's running late, me making coffee..............ugh.

um, here, it's kinda groovy, it's just the original version of Bjork's Aurora with some of the backing tracks somehow stripped off. bjork_acappella_aurora (sorta).

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, indeed!

the door buzzer. Mailman has packages; he says he'll leave them by the mail boxes (2 are just boxes of priority mail boxes, the other is GirlScoutCookies from my niece). I don't want to leave bed, hungover a bit, and the rain makes it easy to crawl back under the covers. Eventually, brew some coffee, check email, plug in that video I got yesterday (Casey, starring Casey Donovan, of course), and think about the sweet gorilla who was under my balls late last night, the ex-boyfriend's new boyfriend who bought me a beer earlier in the night (ugh), the chat while dressing with the bloggerboy I'd love to snuggle up to just before going out (slurp), and the kitchen table full of cookies that will no doubt get eaten up by me, and me alone......

but there were the stills from the upcoming Bjork video

which I will eventually post here, plus some more remixes, etc.

The ex. Gee, while a good thing, in the long run, to see him wasted, with another guy, acting rather immaturely; it's still difficult when you haven't gotten to your next boyfriend yet, ya know? And of course, some "relief" in the form of a wonderfully hairy man later on, in a very small cubicle, who smelled and tasted, and touched just right. And such a full, soft beard, and nice eyes. Don't know why I don't ask for phone numbers in those situations.....

Call me Jacques

mmmmmmmm, want some?

Happiness is just a Flaming Moe away

Speaking of bloggerboys and pornstars, check out J Dub (scroll down to the 01/07/02 post - slurp! ) - although, I must admit with that balltickler, it's not Santa's lap I'd be sitting on!

With all due respect to your new career, you even think about going to FALCON and dying your hair blond and, EGAD!! shaving that bod, I'll personally come down to New Orleans and slap some sense into you! If you're not feeling quite ready to take on some RAGING STALLION MEN (although Jeff Allen looks quite slurpable), may I suggest some solo work for Hairy Jocks Video?

.......many incomplete thoughts in my head. eBay ending my auctions for various violations (so I'm slowly re-listing tamer versions; gosh, that pic of Jon King pulling at his pubes, apparently, was too much!) - and cockrings being modeled.........whatever, who cares?

Late last night, CNN aired the entire speech King gave in D.C. in 1963. Having seen it dozens of times, it's still amazingly moving, I must say. While I felt a bit disappointed reading thru favorite blogs yesterday, with little or no mention of King, I know I felt that way after the "think and link" thing on World AIDS Day. Lots of folks had put up the icon for it, but few had anything to say. It's probably the medium, struggling with complex and difficult, important issues on a page where many of us simply post links to silly Yahoo "news stories" or naked pics of themselves (ahem) is certainly problematic. How do you say something relevant that doesn't seem condescending, or cliche', or christ, offensive if sandwiched in between sex and porn talk posts? I know I struggled for days trying to come up with something relevant to say for yesterday's post, and came up with some half-assed half-sober ramblings (oh wait, rambling is what i do). And while I am totally unsatisfied with what i wound up posting, I think struggling with it was good for me. Reading thru a book of King's speeches, putting those little yellow stickees on passages that seemed of interest; searching on Google for info on "hypersegregation"; reliving some awful stories from my youth of whites who always assumed they could talk their foul racism to any other white people, even to children; my best friend in high school having to put up with as much "you like that fag" talk as I had to put up with "you like that ..." (c'mon, I was brought up much better than to use that word, even if it's "in context") remembering being stopped by a Chicago cop only a year ago, and clearly the only reason was that my pal, Black, was driving a BMW in a white neighborhood....... again, rambling........

As he thrust his milky cock into my face, I grabbed his ass, stroking lightly the peach-fuzz along his sweaty crack. Pushing my face further down, I tasted his vanilla balls, freshly shaven, making my lips a bit chapped, but I wanted more of his creamy cock, and reached back up and gobbled it down. Moaning deeply, he pulled my head up suddenly, pushing his floury face into mine, his beige lips gobbling me up. His pale hands reached down, one hand pulling my balls hard, while the other lightly stroked my cock, his tongue nearly touching my tonsils, I couldn't hold back. He arched backwards, clearly wanting my hot creamy load on his pasty chest. Splam, splurt, splooge! Leaving the backroom, I felt good about myself; see, I'm a good guy, liberal, open-minded, I'll even do it with a ..... Naw, I haven't fetishized it, it's just a change of pace - I love how our skin contrasts, the different textures of our pubic hair enmeshing.....

January, 1965
King: If the South is honest with itself, it may well outdistance the North in the improvement of race relations.
Playboy: Why?
King: Well, the northern white, having had little actual contact with the Negro, is devoted to an abstract principle of cordial interracial relations. The North has long considered, in a theoretical way, that it supported brotherhood and the equality of man, but the truth is that deep prejudices and discrimination exist in hidden and subtle and covert disguises. The South's prejudice and discrimination, on the other hand, has been applied against the Negro in obvious, open, overt and glaring forms - which make the problem easier to get at. The southern white man has the advantage of far more actual contact with Negroes than the northerner. A major problem is that this contact has been paternalistic and poisined by the myth of racial superiority.

The 2000 census confirms a disturbing pattern: The United States is becoming more racially and ethnically diverse but the inner cities are more segregated than they were 40 years ago...... In most Northern and Midwestern urban communities, neighborhoods have become more segregated. Social scientists call this trend "hypersegregation." In the nation's inner cities racial minorities, particularly African-Americans, reside in conditions of extreme racial isolation. (From DelawareOnLine)


....yeah, it was weird, going out last night, aware that with the Holiday, there would be a lot more folks out; but also more keenly aware of how the bars I frequent don't exactly reflect the racial mix of this city. But I rarely do notice, quite honestly. A few weeks back, in a restaurant in Chicago, with a good friend from High School, I had the luxury of not noticing that there was only one black person in the whole place, out of about 35-40 people. He has no choice; he's constantly aware of such things, always has been, and most likely always will be. Don't ask where I'm going with this, I find it troubling, but telling a few old stories from growing up on the South Side of Chicago, when our neighborhood was "changing"; or of going to school in the South, where the students from the North were generally much more racist (a combination of not having "manners" , I guess, plus going to school where they THOUGHT their views would fit in more).......- how does that illuminae where we are now? I can even remember as a teenager, the place I worked at gave King's birthday off, but only to the black folks who worked there - they really didn't get it, did they? Sitting here, barely able to force this coffee in my face because of my hangover, my thoughts on this day are scattered, and oddly angry. What part do i play in this problem; more importantly, what part should I be playing in a "solution" (in quotes, cuz I know there isn't some single, great idea to deal with racial segregation, hypersegregation, etc etc...)

i'll shut up now....(yeah, I know, lame musical choices, but I'm not feeling very creative today)

Happy Birthday
Pride (In The Name Of Love)

found LOVE SHACK, acapella, on line!

.......if only that guy last night had those concentric rings, I would've known what to do..........

Hopelessly oral, I figured I should read up on this whole anal thing. From the 1970 Guidebook to Sexual Positions Between Consenting Adult Males the chapter on "Anal Coitus" states: "many people have an anal fixation that they retained from childhood. After so many years, depending on the age of the subject, of course, it becomes more difficult to remove such urges from the libido of the individual. Thus, the person with such an aberration should, rather, learn to live with it!" It goes on to state: "For those who prefer this method, it is important to study the postitions in this chapter, for they will make for a more enjoyable relationship."

"In this crouching-leaning-back position, we see the aggresspr leaning back while the passive partner becomes the aggressor after he has been entered. It is he, then, who must provide the backward and forward movement while the other partner remains immobile."

"This reverse-entry postion is not recommended for older partners, the obese, or those with physical conditions which do not permit such gymnastics."

I think I'll be sticking to blowjobs.

Pig looking for fun
5'9", 155, blond, blue, shaved torso, 6 tattoos, 40c-29w-14a, 7" cut mushroomhead. Top/Vers, Looking for hot vers/bttm guys. Into mild to wild, raw, ws, ff-top, verbal, nasty, leather,verbal, great kisser, groups or 1 on 1.

Damn! I have a 5-tattoo max.

What's that on your head?

A wig
Wig. Wig. Wig
Sally's gotta wig
Ricky's gotta wig
Baby's gotta wig
Kate's gotta wig
Fred's gotta cheap toupee
Keith's gotta big bouffant on
We all got wigs, so... Let's go!

The B-52's 25th Anniversary Show Feb 4th, 2002 Irving Plaza, NYC!!!!!!! (Boy's in bikinis, Girls in surfboards, Everybody's rockin', Everybody's fruggin')

While the actual 25th anniversary of their first gig would actually be Feb 14th, this works for me! Big wet smooches to Jeff for getting the tickets this morning. I can still remember being in a dorm room in Mobile, Alabama (1980), smoking out of a bong with a bunch of friends, and I mentioned that the 2nd album had just come out. They all made me run across campus to grab my copy, and when I returned, they passed Wild Planet around like it was an heirloom (everybody had matching towels). Finally, someone with a few brain cells left pulled the vinyl out and plopped it on the turntable, and yes, starting the album off with Party Out of Bounds was a great idea, cuz we all jumped up and didn't care that we all danced like shit, we danced anyway (we did all 16 dances). And a couple years later, while dating a hairdresser (Cause tonight's the night We make love, under a stobe light) who's best friends were all drag queens at the local gay club, The Hard Act, usually I was bored to tears with all the "Somewhere Over the Rainbow"s and shit like that. But one night, one of them came out on stage with this huge bouffant hairdo, tight hotpink leopard-print mini dress, and the hugest high-heels, furiously strutting all over the stage lipsyncing to "Give Me Back My Man" - Holy Fuck! I went out of my mind hooting and hollering, and the best part, the crowd was blown away, clapping and screaming at the end! Before this, my boyfriend's drag queen friends sorta just tolerated me, the college boy, but after all my gushing over the preformance (and many drinks later), we got along much better. Oh gosh, I remember one time going down to Gulf Shores, and they all had tube tops on.... oh man! I'll save that for another time.

Meanwhile, here's a very groovy remix of Planet Claire

Sniffing out a hot scene to mount and hump or be humped

31yoa, 5'11", 190# Swedish PureBred, Brn/hzl, masculine, Hairy Chest, Goatee, Tatts, 8x6.5" cut A real man's dog. Into most everything. I'm very big on bone and if I'm not burying one, then you most likely will be.

goddamnit, where'd I put that leash........?

testing, testing, does this JACK WRANGLER link work?

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

yeah, i know, I'm sure lots of other folks posted it first, but just in case, ARMY MEN PORN.

Law and Order: Special Rights Unit

Tough-minded team works to pass equal-rights and domestic-partner laws in states that don't want them. - from the new Gay Channel? I wish! I hate getting those mass-mailed forwarded emails, but a pal of mine sent me this Washington Post satire, and it actually made me laugh. So, if you've already gotten it in your mail box 142 times, my apologies.

Was watching some porno, and got an instant message from a fellow blogger - I decided to try a webcamchat, hoping I'd have a need for one of these handy items. Alas, our chat somehow strayed from mutual admiration over each other's various hairy body parts, and onto some silly bloggercode controversy (sorry, no link, cuz someone is taking this way too seriously!) - needless to say, I lost my woody, and eventually we signed off. Still, I couldn't fall asleep, but a few moments with this guy helped me reach my goal. G'nite.

Gutterboy [10:53 PM]: damn I wish you were into raunch bj
BJland [10:59 PM]: hey man
BJland [10:59 PM]: naw, just old-fashioned blowjobs
Gutterboy [10:59 PM]: yeah, I need a bj bad, just don't want to shower first
BJland[11:00 PM]: hehe
Gutterboy [11:00 PM]: I think you're a really sexy fucker
BJland [11:00 PM]: well, thanks....
BJland [11:01 PM]: but I do like crotches to be (relatively) fresh....
Gutterboy [11:01 PM]: what about my pits? showered today before the gym
BJland [11:01 PM]: ........at least on a first date
BJland [11:01 PM]: well, i'm not a "generic aroma" guy
BJland [11:02 PM]: i've enjoyed the smell of specific guys, but i'm not one to just look for some smell, if that makes sense
Gutterboy [11:02 PM]: my musky pits has been getting me worked up all night
Gutterboy [11:02 PM]: I understand
Gutterboy [11:03 PM]: can you travel?
BJland [11:04 PM]: was actually close to shutting down for the night
BJland [11:04 PM]: seinfeld, etc.....
Gutterboy [11:05 PM]: ok, was going to offer to shower if you wanted to cum over
BJland [11:05 PM]: i feel honored!
Gutterboy [11:06 PM]: woof!

I suppose frivolous things like this, that I want soooooooooooooo much, should be an incentive to get a resume together, and maybe even apply for a job, eh? $45.00, 12 discs, each disc contains just one song from Vespertine. Nothing new, no remixes, just separate discs, each with one track, one pic.

sigh.

last night.... well, yes, there was sex. and some weed. and that bar that charged $3.00 at the door, and had 14 people in it, if you count the doorman, the bartender, and the deejay, and the only guy who came in after me, but left within 10 minutes. Funny, on Thursday night, The Hole had a line 1/2 a block long, but I guess Lady Bunny's 1979 night just hasn't taken off. It was so dull, even she didn't show up! So, after several interminably long disco-songs, I am-scrayed out of there. Just as I'm unchaining the bike, the pair of leather-clad cuties from The Hole came out, but, alas, it wasn't to grab me, but to smooch some more before hopping into a cab. So, rather than spend more money on beer or going all the way uptown to The Cock (10 blocks, 2 avenues), I found my bike chaining itself up outside Bijou 82.

Inside, 10 dollars later, strolling the hallways, I saw a guy I've seen online alot, we'd chatted breifly, but each didn't want to go to the other's neighborhood. Definately in the Daddy department, muscled, thick, over 50, and shirtless, his "lick my nipples" chest exposed. I gave it a few rounds around the place, getting myself warmed up, and by about the 4th pass, he had his door half-closed, but enough to see some fairly thick meat getting stroked out of his 501's. While I was not quite ready, he was definately pretty good warm-up material, so once it was clear he was interested (you know, pointing his cock outward, meeting my eyes, then looking down at his own dick), I went in. No hellos, just a quick grab and pull on body parts, we seemed to like what the other offered, and shut the door. It was alright, and I had on one of my rattier t-shirts for pulling back down over my cum-covered chest when he was through.

OH YEAH, and the guy who I'd describe more as boy; late 20's, husky, shaved head, tattoos, real cute face. I got to him later.

post-christmas (tree) depression sets in.....

Pic-stealing is the highest form of....

On a certain NYC M4M4SEX website, this guy is using my pic! The small pic above (click for the larger version) is me. He's using that pic along with his ad:

I'm a 35yo 5'11" 185# hot husky hairy regular irish guy, 32"-34"w 44"c 15"b 7" dick cut thick, hairy balls & ass. I'm lookin for other regular hairy guys, into j/o, sucking (give and take), fucking (80% bottom), groups, water sports, public sex.

I took the pic maybe 18 months ago, wearing Doc Marten's, and nope, not a jockstrap - look closely and you'll see it's a Calvin Klein string brief (yeah, I know, ewww). Anyway, I sold the underwear on eBay awhile back, and submitted this pic to the PORK website around the same time. Briefly I replaced Donnie Russo as their pic of the month, but unknowingly got entered into some "Cock of the Month" contest (kinda unfair, since I'm not really showing much cock, now am I?). Needless to say, I didn't win the contest, but that's where this guy must've taken the pic from. I'm no longer a member of that "dating service", so I had to ask a pal to ask the guy to stop using my pic. He hasn't. If you happen to be a member of M4M4SEX, feel free to say hey to the guy - his name is dan69nyc. His "private" pic is the one to the left, lying on his tummy, waiting for "it", I guess.

to-do list (realistic)

take down Xmas tree

put yer blog-links on a page, and link from blogpage

vacuum (not pump)

buy sugar for coffee

finish up BJORK disc w/music and videos

deposit eBay checks

make list of cockring stock (ahem)

sort porn mags into sell/keep piles

bathe
incentive: pull plug on computer til at least 3 things accomplished

One of like six zillion things i forgot to put on my Xmas Wish List, The Riding Belt

sex is like pistachios....... (any volunteers?)

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so, only 17 minutes after I publicly threaten a blowjob, he's got a new post, and all sorts of new designs on his page. Coincidence?

so where was I, anyway?

While instant messaging with a friend, complaining about my 41 days without sex, he asked "why so long?" Of course, I had to give the smart-ass, self=depricating answer:
I'm ugly
I'm boring
and I keep forgetting to bathe for days on end
So, he laughed, and argued 2 of those points, as any good friend should, and told me I just needed to feel sexier, so wear something that makes me feel sexy, and get going. So, I grabbed my current fave leather wrap around cock/ball divider cockring, grabbed that vintage (allegedly Army-issue) all-cotton jockstrap I got in a trade for some porno videos, and your standard button-fly jeans, boots, hooded sweatshirt and leather jacket.

Getting to The Phoenix by around 12:15, the bartender knew my drink (sounds better than you think, they just know I'll drink the lowest priced inebriant of the day), and settled in away from the one, or is that two, people I'd rather not talk to (one a friend of a friend, another, a boy I've "been with" twice, most recently while his BF was out of town, who is now huddled with him drinking and smooching). Music wasn't bad, but I had that "everyone is talking to someone but me" feeling, and focused my attention of the bartender's dog. After a few songs, including 2 R.E.M.'s that would normally make me sad thinking about a certain Ex, I figured it was time to check The Cock. Doorlady gives me all the air kisses and happy new year's she gives everyone, and I gave her my 3 bucks. Inside, ugh. Music was sorta popish, (I swear they played Partirdge Family, and sorry, it just ISN't ironic enough) and there were only about 15 people there, at 1 a.m. Took the bartender forever to see me, and I slurped on the Rolling Rock for awhile, surveying the place. One very cute boy, but he kept tugging at his clothes so much that I stopped thinking about his butt on my face, and just figured he had way too many issues for some fast, sloppy sex; soon another nice looking guy, closer to my age, came in. I immediately noticed his shiny shirt, which would normally be a turn-off, (it was vinyl!) but the rest of the outfit was leather, and it just said SEX. Plain and simple, SEX. Trying to catch his eye, he looked over, walked right past me, and hugged one of the notorious drug-dealers. Oh well. And I knew that this place would fill up after 2:30, but it would be all people coming from other bars, snorting and sniffing whatever, and it's just not my thing. Went back to The Phoenix, got another $1.00 draft, slushed it down, again saw no-one, and decided I'd try The Bar, and The Boiler Room before "resorting" to Bijou 82 (or whatever that sex-club without sex-movies but with sex-booths is called these days).

The Boiler Room had all of 6 people in it, I stayed long enough to warm my hands. The Bar had more people in it, but all of them rather scarey-looking. Why bother with more beer, go pay your 10 bucks at roam the corridors of the Bijou already, right? Of course, the guy taking my money was real cute, which is always a bad sign, since it'll be harder to pick someone else (um, like I always get to pick who I want!! hehe). But once inside, while they are still playing annoying HBO or Showtime, as opposed to some trashy porn flick, I did noticed that there were alot more booths! I mean, twice as many as the last time I was here (on a Monday, and I had to wait until 5 a.m. to get a booth!) Tonight would be no waiting, if, in fact, I clicked with someone.

(note to self: finish later and remember - beercan thick, sweat dripping off my face, lubricating my cock, don't say the P---y word if you want me to continue; boy that mustache tickles........just right, right there, yeah, right there)

Would a sloppy wet blowjob help with the writer's block?

suck-cess
let me put another pot of coffee on, and see if I can remember why I went to bed at 4 a.m. grinning, but still wearing the lucky jockstrap and cock/ball divider.

head

love head; don't you?
I hope to give, or get, some non-Giraffe head at some point in the next 24 hours; root for me, k?

sometimes a cigar is just a cigar

and sometimes putting a cigar in your pic is just not a very good idea

seriously unemployed

gosh, I actually had to add "bathe" on that long "to do" list............

You're not having sex til tomorrow, so, you throw some Patti Smith tunes on WINAMP (don't forget that live version of When Doves Cry), grab the clippers, and just go buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

But where do you stop?

ok, ok, to clear that image out of your head, check out the pianostripper

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friends?

BayRidgeGUY [7:53 PM]: hi how r u
BJland [7:53 PM]: hey man, doing alright, and you?
BayRidgeGUY [7:53 PM]: ok,i'm 26; would you like to trade a face picture?
BJland [7:54 PM]: sure
BayRidgeGUY [7:54 PM]: sent
BayRidgeGUY [7:55 PM]: nice, u like?
BJland [7:55 PM]: yup
BayRidgeGUY [7:56 PM]: trade x ?
BJland [7:56 PM]: sure
BayRidgeGUY [7:57 PM]: sent
BayRidgeGUY [7:58 PM]: very nice, i'm 8", u?
BJland [7:59 PM]: about 7-1/2
BayRidgeGUY [8:00 PM]: very nice, i love your hairy bush! trade more x ?
BJland [8:01 PM]: sure, i think i have another
BayRidgeGUY [8:02 PM]: sent!
BayRidgeGUY [8:03 PM]: oooh i wanted to see your hairy bush; it turns me on!!
BayRidgeGUY [8:03 PM]: what are u looking 4?
BJland[8:04 PM]: short term or long?
BJland [8:04 PM]: (just teasing you)
BayRidgeGUY [8:04 PM]: u prefer dating or sex?
BJland [8:05 PM]: preference is for both
BJland [8:06 PM]: but ya cant always wait for someone whos "dateable"
BayRidgeGUY [8:06 PM]: i prefer both as well ;) u hiv poz or neg?
BJland [8:07 PM]: been awhile since i checked -
BJland [8:07 PM]: for hook-ups, i ALWAYS act as if my partner is poz
BayRidgeGUY [8:07 PM]: how long?

BayRidgeGUY [8:08 PM]: u there?
BJland [8:08 PM]: yup
BayRidgeGUY [8:09 PM]: how long since last hiv test?
BJland [8:09 PM]: i'm a LOT older than you , so I dont take personal discussions like this lightly
BJland [8:09 PM]: for AOL hook-ups, everyone should act as if they're partner is POZ, and then do only what yer comfortable with
BJland [8:10 PM]: me telling you a test was taken 2 months, 2 years ago doesnt really give you a guaranteee that you should, or shouldnt act sanely
BayRidgeGUY [8:10 PM]: i think i know what you're "indirectly" saying.
BJland [8:10 PM]: i think i am being very direct,
BJland [8:11 PM]: a POZ result is forever, a neg test is only as good as months before the test was taken
BayRidgeGUY [8:11 PM]: i dont know why u wont answer a question...
BJland [8:11 PM]: and therefore, unreliable
BayRidgeGUY [8:12 PM]: your answer would put me at ease.
BJland [8:13 PM]: about what?
BayRidgeGUY [8:13 PM]: when u tested last?
BJland [8:13 PM]: why would that make you feel better, i dont get it
BayRidgeGUY [8:14 PM]: i work long hours, i dont have time to "philosophize" over a simple question.
BJland [8:14 PM]: gotcha
BayRidgeGUY [8:15 PM]: will u answer?
BJland [8:16 PM]: u just said you didnt have time for this,
BayRidgeGUY [8:17 PM]: whats your phone number? obviously IM doesnt work here.
BJland [8:18 PM]: i think we are just at an impasse, you want info from me without explaining WHY
BJland [8:18 PM]: and i dont like the question because i feel it is too simplistic for a complex issue
BayRidgeGUY [8:18 PM]: GETTING NAKED WOULD MAKE ME FEEL MORE COMFORTABLE.
BJland [8:18 PM]: well, at least ya made me laugh...
BayRidgeGUY [8:19 PM]: so???
BJland [8:20 PM]: well, if the answer to your question makes the difference to you about
BJland [8:21 PM]: continuing a conversation or meeting, i can tell we wouldnt get along, thats all - just different
BayRidgeGUY [8:22 PM]: trade #s and hang out as friends? (i'm assuming you're HIV+ unless i hear otherwise.)
BJland [8:24 PM]: sorry, that wouldnt work for me, i dont decide the TYPE of friend someone will be based on their hiv status
BayRidgeGUY [8:25 PM]: bye

Stuttgart, Sept 11

I'm not one to be too interested (understatement) in celebrities' takes on important events, or hearing about how they dealt with it, or what they were doing/thinking at the time..... Hearing about some of them certainly adds to my cynicism about life; but....

(there's always a but, eh?) I do remember hearing a few days after the attacks that Bjork had not canceled her Stuttgart appearance that night (which, in Germany, with the time difference and all, would only have been only a couple hours after). On the Bjork website, fans posted that she had dedicated a song that night, and subsequently, I thought I had located the exact live version (alas, the person in Finland who claimed to have the whole show never sent it to me...) of the song. Having seen her a few times, the accounts that mention how little she talks during her shows came as no surprise, and apparently, that night, dedicating the song was one of the few moments she spoke more than a couple of words (usually it's just a cute "thank you") (and here's one fan's account of the night). Asking the audience members to pray for the victims of the attack, eyes filled with tears, she sang Gotham Lullaby, a song by Meridith Monk. Some of you may know that back in 1996, a "fan" had sent a bomb to her London home (caught in time by the police, but the bomber killed himself), and that was the main reason she fled London. After moving to Spain, (where she did a lot of the work for Homogenic) she now makes her home in lower Manhattan (with frequent visits back to Iceland, of course). What little I can gather about her personality, I can only imagine that canceling the show was not an option - for her own sake no doubt, as singing is her emotional outlet - but I imagine, for the fans, to be able to give a brief glimpse of beauty, she must have felt honored to have the opportunity.

So, here's a live recording of Bjork singing Gotham Lullaby, Meridith Monk's original version of Gotham Lullaby, and a very groovy unofficial remix, incorporating Bjork's live recording, bits of Meridith Monk's, plus the d.j.'s own additions.

DAD's version of yours truly, Dec, 1965

oh, this is a hard one

is that a wedding ring, a "gay" wedding ring, or does it just not matter since he's only into "other muscular guys"?

did someone say JOCKSTRAP FETISH?

alright, folks, no comments about stroking stray p---y

Cock Shadow

today is CLEAN UP THAT MESS, YOUNG MAN day. The mess is this whole apartment, and yes, the young man is me.(stop laughing) It's not horrible, but each time I try to do anything, like scan a hot MANDATE guy like Mr Gold to the left here, or find the remote control, I wind up kicking several things, sometimes losing my balance and falling on that box of cockrings that needs to be photographed, catalogued, and sold. I also have all those old porn mags, many in no condition to actually sell, but chock-full of pics and info on some of my fave (and recently discovered) naked men to scan, catalogue, lose sleep over, etc. Got a cool email yesterday from someone looking for research material, on Christopher Rage, and was reminded that she linked me on her cool site in the Sex Diary Burb as "unapologetically horny" (accurate, you think?) - and, alas, the Xmas tree must come down, but it's got soooo much crap on it. More coffee, and THEN I'll get to work......... Am anxious to hear how a young friend of mine is enjoying the copy of Kansas City Trucking Co. he just got from me in the mail. I think he was 7 when it came out (well, I was too young back in 1976, too; just not as young).

should I, or shouldn't I?

thanks, etc

OK, before i get all mushy about actual people, let me be all crass and mention the stuff I got for Xmas: Simpsons 3-disc first season DVD (huge, fat, long, wet smooches to YOU, you know who you are!!); lots of chocolate from my family (along with cool clothes, gift certificates, and an honest-to-goodness effort to accomodate my NO-mammal/NO-bird eating habits - although my sisters kept teasing me about the BACON FAT content of every dish); new fantastic Russel Wright book from the current show here in NYC; a huge box of old porn magazines (tons of info there, plus some for sale on eBay now, as I type this - hehe); my Mom let me haul off a huge box of my DAD's drawings, spanning form the 50's to just a few years ago, when he died; some cool music cd's (some burned - you know who you are!); UNDERWEAR!!! - jockstraps, boxers, long johns, even some slinky silk longjohns!; home-baked cookies from the West Coast; even my cockring supplier gave me a new design to try out (anyone wanna help?); Jack Wrangler video of Dynamite (not only is it hilarious, but I've whacked off to it about 11 times this week!); calendar with 2 hot, embracing guys with the most lickable sideburns; oh yeah, my TEXAS RANGER badge (but remind me to stop wearing it out to the local bars...); several dirty (and, therefore, much appreciated) Xmas cards; and a whole bunch of other stuff I'll remember as soon as I hit the "publish" button

Maybe it's tacky to single people out (like being tacky has worried me in the past), but these 2 handsome devils - panchesco, and jocko - were really great with encouragement and advise early on in this blogging/website thing, and unlike many of my other crushes, many months later I still want to have their children, no matter how excruciating the labor is (ooh, octuplets would be cool - or was that a Simspons episode?), ...... and of course, my pal from Kansas (the state, not the band) who previewd all my "personal" videos before their general release (well, not exactly general release, but you know what I mean) and who has supplied me with tons of music, "props"for said videos, advice, and odd German-made Kitchen untensils......

and to think my mother used to worry when I was in college that all my pals were female - not to say that all these guys are pals (I can think of a few thinking, "who is this guy?") but still, I read their pages, and in the era of Oprah, that's enough for a relationship - akafrankgreen, andy, drub, chris, beau, hcl, john, jonno, keith, ron, queerscribbles, shadowy duck, dan, casey, sparky, adam - thanks guys for the dirty pics (of yourselves, and your loved ones), good reads, hilarious emails, late night whack-off sessions, cool downloads, instant messages, refreshing insights, arguments, fantastic links, forgiving my unsolicited email advise, giving me much-needed email advise, and a whole crapload more........

of course, i have a few "real life" friends, who don't have pages I can link to, but have put up with my absolute refusal to even look for a job for, OH MY, for 20 months! - by buying me dinners, giving me their old porn, listening to me rant and rave about the horrors of eBay, and feign interest when I talk about bloggers....... and there's my dearest friend, who I jokingly call my "80's boyfriend", who I dated for most of my first 9 years in New York, who has put up with shitloads of crap from me, who I've loved for 18 years, who did the most important thing any boyfriend can do, which is to not heap any expectations of what a boyfriend should be, but to nurture me into being the best version of myself that I could be, even more so in these many years after our break-up, thru this horrible autumn in NYC - (this is the part of the movie where I either change the channel, or get all weepy and can't look directly at the screen) - so I think I'll go now and work on those, um, what are they called? oh yeah, resolutions. Yup, I'll get right on that........

from the "I'll never get a boyfriend on AOL" department

SkYYboy4U [4:46 PM]: hi there
BJland [4:54 PM]: hey man
SkYYboy4U [4:54 PM]: how ru?
BJland [4:54 PM]: not bad, and you?
SkYYboy4U [4:55 PM]: trying to stay warm.......hanging out.....need to shower/shave....putting it off LoL
BJland [4:57 PM]: hmmm
BJland [4:57 PM]: sounds like we are in the same boat
BJland[4:57 PM]: but i'll definatley skip the shave
SkYYboy4U [5:00 PM]: LoL u can do that........I gotta shave so it's easier to get ready 4 work...........I cant read youre profile....the background is messing with my screen......old computer here
BJland [5:00 PM]: hmmm
BJland [5:01 PM]: just grey background
SkYYboy4U [5:05 PM]: I can see the link & also see the unshaved balls part....but I just shaved mine
BJland [5:05 PM]: hehe
SkYYboy4U [5:07 PM]: where ru?
BJland [5:07 PM]: lower east side
BJland [5:07 PM]: 41, 5'8, 140 hairy, bald
SkYYboy4U [5:09 PM]: big fun cock to play with?
BJland [5:10 PM]: on me?
BJland [5:10 PM]: i guess it can be fun at times
SkYYboy4U [5:10 PM]: D&D free?
BJland [5:10 PM]: oh, i dont know, man
BJland [5:11 PM]: i usually charge for that

(and yes, his profile said flight attendant)

publicly thanking people sucks. Wait, that sounds horrible; what I mean is, that this format is a bit odd, cuz you know there will be some glaring ommisions, plus a few who might think "who the hell is this guy, why is he linking to me a thank-you?" but, WTF, as the young folks say; and as soon as I finish listening to this great LIVE SIGUR ROS recording I found on the web, and slit my wrists, i'm sure I'll be in my perky peppy mood again................

just working on more magazine/video auctions

stood up

not like I wanted actual contact with another male human, but still, disappointed. Must sleep now.

gosh, I've been shopping on eBay for 48 hours str8, looking thru all the jocks, unionsuits, really bad thongs (ok, so there's no such thing as a GOOD thong, but there are some really really bad ones out there) and, of course, the occasional porn video (missed American Cream, I just wasn't willing to pay more than 12 bucks without the original box) - but this could be fun. And don't forget to look at my stuff.

er..... anyone having problems with the links in the previous post? Also, what very patient nice guy out there can teach me / or point me in the right direction to learn, some basic animated gif stuff? I'll save my ideas for Matmos-soundtracked FLASH sex-fantasy stuff til after I can make a simple 5-image animated giffy thang.

ahhhhhhhh, 2001. I'm still achey and headachey from this cold that will only 1/2 materialize, but I did manage to put up a few pics (stills) from some videotaping last summer. None of these guys wanted their faces to be recorded, so I was only allowed to tape when I was slurping on them (aww shucks, but, I had to do it for my art). If you don't want to see me acting all sleazy, don't look. Otherwise check out auditions for all 5 "encounters" - if you've seen 'em before, and just want to go to the new page, here ya go....boy #5 (that's him to the right, a dancer).

later, if I can find some 1/2 and 1/2 that doesn't taste like cheese, I'll pump up on some caffeine, and attempt some thank-you's to some really great folks who made my holidays just fantastic!

don't ask, but i think there were witnesses......(hic!)