In about 12 hours, I will be nervously looking for a cab to take me down to the bus to begin my 5-day vacation. I just printed out the e-tickets for the bus and ferry rides, giving me almost exactly 96 hours in Provincetown. And a little leeway between bus/ferry in case something goes wrong, but most likely I will have given too much time, and will be cruising around a bus terminal or ferry wharf waiting for connections. I could think of worse things to do. Now on to packing.

Holy crap! You remember the Closet Case Hypocrite Congressman - David Dreier - who's running for his 13th term in Southern California? Well, turns out his opponent (Cynthia Matthews) is a lesbian! Man, this is getting interesting!

It was the kiss that did it. His hairy face finally meeting mine, my hand at the back of his sweaty neck pulling him in. His mouth still panting from being shoved down on my crotch, the taste of my balls on his lips. The man behind him smiled with a bit of envy, our eyes meeting as he thrusted into my bearded pal. Just a few moments of our mouths meeting and that did it, and I pulled our crotches together as I sprayed him.

Another GOoPer outed: RNC's CFO

The discussion/comments are interesting, but you should also read the original story, as well. The quotes from the guy are actually kinda spooky - "I don’t seem to have a problem with it,” he said. “I’m not in the policy area." - sorta Bob Dole meets Stepford wives.

Mmmmmmm, Bike Trails.

So, p-town is back on. I finally got a live person at a place I can afford just before leaving for work. But as he's telling me rates, he say's "oh, gosh, sorry, my phone is dying, can you call back another time?" - Me: Noooo! Take my credit card, FAST! The poor guy chuckles nervously, wondering what sort of madman he's booking, as I shout out "5514-6042-XXXX-1234!!!"

in other news...

as I stare at the phone and the internet, waiting to see if someone with an affordable room in provincetown returns my calls/emails, my roommate knocks on the door. Bags packed, driver waiting downstairs, he's outta here! Big hugs, and all that, despite him having a late night last night in NYC mini-party a 5am this morning which didn't help my sleeplessness.

WOO-HOO! OCTOBER IS MONTH-LONG SEX PARTY AT BJLAND. Just kidding. But, I did start to clean through what he left, and discovered that the air mattress he left isn't an air mattress, but a real mattress, which I might try out to replace my squishy, back-breaking futon. Plus, a seemingly comfy chair, a pile of American coinage which wouldn't do him much good back home, 3 porno tapes (The Road Home, an excellent HOT HOUSE release from the mid 90's, Big, Black & Beautiful with Bobby Blake who lives up to the title, and a lesser known, but funnily-titled (?) When Bottoms Go Wild with an enticing pic of Paul Carrigan taking full advantage of a sling); also some scarey hair cair products, about 4000 q-tips (what's with that?) and oooooh, one full and an additional almost-full bottle of tequilla, something called Jose Cuervo Especial, apparently they were hechoed en Mexico.

So, maybe it will be MONTH-LONG SEX PARTY AT BJLAND. Any takers?

my life is a wad of useless crummy checks, er, um, something like that

I don't even have the energy to cry right now. I mean, as big of a crybaby as I can be most times, it isn't even what I feel like doing. But it just isn't going my way this week. After barely getting my act together and finding a reasonably affordable place to stay for my (perhaps not) well-deserved but certainly long-desired and desperately needed little vacation, all these little irritating things are happening!

Saturday night while I'm trying to catch up on my C-SPAN, my roommate announces his departure this week, leaving me needing to find a replacement ASAP. Then Sunday night I get sick, not sure what it is, and wondering how long it might last and if it will affect my ability to go to my low paying job, or worse, affect my trip. Monday, still woosy from this vague illness, nothing bad happens as I hold my breath all day. Tuesday seems OK, I even get a call from the guy from last week who 'might' be around my neighborhood and 'maybe' we can meet up while he's hanging out with friends. (this is irrelevant, why am I mentioning this?) Anyway, I try to do some household stuff, and put two loads of wash on. Back upstairs, as I am sorting through some porn-packages to be mailed, I look for these checks I've received over the past couple of days. FUCK! I did not leave them in my pocket and they are now in the washer, and FUCK! it's too late, FUCK! Oh man, 50-60 bucks in a wad of crud. And I mailed all the stuff out already, so I'm out the money on shipping. Calm down, calm down. I can't let it bother me.

Work seems fine, I think what ailed me must've been a bad meal somewhere. When I get out, head up for a beer and see the guy. He's hanging with friends, and after two beers he says they're heading out. I'm not invited, I try not to let it bother me, I head home. Gosh I need this trip. Meanwhile.... ahhhhhh, porno. I don't even bother with checking emails or computer stuff, I just settle in and watch a new tape the UPS guy delivered earlier. The tape is good, but after I 'finish up' I know I need to check a few things like ferry schedule and bus schedule, and so I get on line. An email from the guest house I'll be staying at.....

"I am writing to let you know that I may not be renting for the nights you plan to visit P-Town, Monday 9/27 through Thursday night ... a situation has arisen which may have me closed either all or part of that week. Because of this uncertainty I would suggest you consider accommodations at one of the other establishments ..."

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK! I stare at the screen, I re-read it 20 or 30 times, looking for the 'ha ha just kidding we actually have a bigger room with a view for you' part that I must've missed. Nope, not there. I don't know what to do, but I write back, a pitiful attempt, mentioning my disappointment and asking for ANY suggestions on a similarly-priced place to stay. I crawl into bed. I pull the just-washed cotton sheet up to my chin and stare into the dark, up at the ceiling, sleepless.

TOO BIG FOR HIS BRITCHES

directed by: Ronnie Shark - aka Bill Harrison (1987)

Starring: Matt Christy - aka Franco Gonella, Cole Carpenter, Chad Douglas, Leigh Erickson, Grant Fagan, Chaz Holderman, Chad Johnson, Cory Monroe, Rod Phillips, Jim Reeves, Justin Rhodes, Jeff Turner, and Calvin Worth

This is part of one of my all-time favorite porno scenes, despite the many flaws of the movie itself (some wacky early video 'special effects', Jeff Turner has a beard at the beginning of his scene, then is down to short-cropped mustache once the sex begins; and the yucky dirty feet thing, which may be 'natural' but who wants to see dirty feet in a porno flick!) I could go on, but I'll spare ya. Of course it has many pluses - not the least of which is plenty of big big cock (director Shark - aka Bill Harrison, having one of the biggest in the business - see Wakefield Poole's Bijou - knows big cock) - like the 2 Chads + Chaz - who didn't get these 3 confused in the 80's? - and Matt Christy just has the best face to watch as he sucks cock, and he gets plenty in this movie.

Anyway, the premise of the movie is simple, our hero (why he's not on the box cover puzzles/pisses me), delicious Matt Christy - aka Franco Gonella (who also appears in Al Parker's Oversize Load and I think one of those Drummer Magazine videos) is scheduled to have a job interview, but his horniness and bad luck get in the way. When the morning alarm goes off, he is jerking off to a magazine (from director Shark's earlier, fantastic film, The Biggest One I Ever Saw), but then quickly hops in the shower, only to imagine another sex scene (some big thick cock down his throat as he kneels in the tub). Finally he gets out of the house, only to have his car break down. He gets picked up by box-cover model Jim Reeves (with the very 80's big hair) who we learn soon enough also has a beautiful cock for Matt to feast on. Matt falls asleep, and his dream is of course himself and Reeves exchanging blow jobs. During this, a cop appears at the window and just shoves his dick in, which Matt eagerly takes care of. This is where this particular clip begins. I just love the dreamy editing, the low-key music, the lack of any tacky, interfering dialogue, Matt's tie and jeans outfit, and mostly I am intrigued by just how much that gun-in-holster while getting sucked, rimmed, then fucked is a big big turn-on - disturbing in a way, but really does the job.

In just seven days...

Well, the weekend brought some good news, and some not-so-good news. Friday I was finally able to nail down a place to stay in Provincetown, and I am really looking forward to it. I was so close to giving up on the idea, but some serious encouragement from some friends made me give it a bit more effort, and I found something I can (sorta) afford. Never having been there, I've wanted for a long time to check it out off season, mid-week, to get a feel for the place, most especially it's natural beauty. I'm looking forward to a good amount of time on a rented bike, and will be taking my "old-fashioned" film camera to take some decent pics (I hope). Some even tell me it's not too late in the year for whale-watching - which would be awesome!

The not-so-good news is that my roommate told me Saturday night that he's leaving - this week! Talk about bad timing. I considered, only briefly, canceling my trip so I could concentrate on the god-awful task of searching for a new roommate. He says he'll be flying back to his home country this Wednesday, but that obviously I can keep his deposit as he gave so little notice. Of course, all spring and summer he was going home for a month, then 3 months, then 2 weeks, then not at all, so I guess I will wait until he's actually gone to believe it. But talk about a pain in the ass! I should really just grow up, get a real job, and try to swing this rent on my own. But that and a subway token....

Gosh, I hate this. When I got home from work yesterday, I just tried to take a little nap. Not quite falling asleep, I tossed and turned, then finally got out of bed an hour or two later feeling sick. This sucks. So the whole night was like that - tossing and turning, body aches, head aches, and not really knowing what's wrong. And then that familiar depression that comes at the beginning of being sick - lonliness. No one to take my temperature, make soup, or any of that crap. Ugh.

don't fuck with me fellas

HAPPY CONSTITUTION DAY

California Republican Congressman David Dreier is Outed

OK, so maybe this isn't news to some folks; but watching this thing develop over the past few weeks has been fascinating, I must say. If you want to sift through his voting record on issues of gay/lesbian interset, check out Human Right's Campaign's page on Rep. Dreier; or, an easier translation of what those votes were about over here - "House Rules Chairman Does Not Call Himself Straight."

Remember back in February, when the press was reporting the Congressman's opposition to the Federal Marriage Amendment (FMA)? - please re-read what had been written at the time - Rep. David Dreier, R-Calif., a co-chairman of Bush's campaign in California in 2000, said he doesn't support a constitutional amendment. "I believe that this should go through the courts, and I think that we're at a point where it's not necessary," he said. - and then what happened? He votes to strip federal courts of jurisdiction over gay marriage!!!

FADE IN

directed by: Roger Earl (1984)

Starring: Jon King, David Ashfield, Scott Clark, Michael Christopher, Gino Del Mar, Chris Allen, Shawn Easton (aka Dwan?)

Extra points if you can identify the music. If you've always wanted just a few minutes licking Jon King's beautiful body, here's the closest you'll come to it - watching Gino Del Mar doing a great job of it. I wonder if they fought over who got to wear the white boots in this scene.

so lonely........ well, not even FRIENDS of mine could figure out the GMAIL address, so here goes: BJLAND then there's that AT symbol (@) then the GMAIL.COM. (that's for the porno clip suggestions) In other news, not hours after buying the first bottle of lube I've purchased in many years, the boy who I'd hoped would provide the condoms cautioned me that he wasn't ready for any sort of relationship right now. Still, he said f*cking is still likely in the near future. He might even have meant with me. Cross your fingers.

Still trying to find my way up to Provincetown for the week of Sept 27th. I have 4 days off from work, and some credit on the credit card. And a bus schedule to get to Boston (and I am clueless how to get from the bus terminal to the Ferry). From there, including a place to sleep, still up in the air. And apparently there's some sort of Leather-y weekend the day after I leave, which is fine. I really just want OCEAN, walks on the beach, and some time away from my teeny tiny space in NYC.

gmail. A pal had been mailing me there, and while I was one of the first to jump on the gmail bandwagon, I must say I hadn't checked the account in a month or so. So, anyone want to try me there? You'll have to put on your thinking caps to figure out what my address would be (hint - something@gmail.com) - but send a hello and maybe a suggestion for a porno clip, eh?

Gay dads get daughters plus praise from judge - or, Why I hate straight people

Many of you may have already read accounts of this story, where two foster parents were awarded long-term custody of two young girls. Briefly put, a Florida caseworker was trying desperately to find a temporary home for a girl so violent and temperamental that she had been in 17 different foster homes in two months. The caseworker contacted a licensed foster parent who they knew (he's had over 20 foster kids in his home over the years), who agreed to take the troubled child, and then also her sister. The children did so well in such a short period of time, the caseworkers (at this point, three reviewed the case and decided this was the way to go) asked the foster parents if they'd be willing to take permanent custody. They could not offer adoption as an option, since FLORIDA IS THE ONLY STATE THAT BANS ADOPTION BY GAYS, but felt this arrangement was in the best interests of these children.

Now here's a side note. When I first read about this "victory" the other day, I do what I usually do with stories that fascinate me like this one, and GOOGLE the story to death, trying to get as much detail as possible from many different sources (many of you may know that even AP Wire stories often appear different in different papers, as they may edit out parts, change the order, etc.), and I find that local papers often offer more detail than the Gay on-line sources. But now I can't find the ONE source that mentioned this background: A straight couple learned of the 2 GAY DADS, and "alerted" Governor Bush's office, and that's when the "investigation" into this case began. So you'll have to take my word for this part (or if you find the source(s), let me know). This couple thought they were better qualified to be the parents, and the State of Florida began an investigation into whether the agency properly placed the kids with the gay couple (did they try hard enough to find the BEST place - i.e. a heterosexual married couple).

The couple that objected to this arrangement of TWO GAY DADS - what are their qualifications to be parents? You guessed it - they are STRAIGHT! They are NOT licensed by Florida to be foster parents, nor have they ever had any foster kids in their home. Meanwhile, the inferior gay dads, one is licensed, and the pair have had over 20 kids in their home, with no problems. In fact, they have done so well, that is was the caseworker who sought them out to see if they would be willing to try with these kids, including the one who had been in 17 homes in 2 months!

This is the sort of thing that makes me realize I could never be a good lawyer, a good social worker, a good judge, or any of that, because I would take this straight couple, and fuckin' strangle them! FUCK YOU YOU ARROGANT STR8 MUTHER FUCKERS! You think that because you like to put your genitals near opposite sex genitals that this makes you inheritantly good parents, and automatically superior to folks who prefer the genitals of the same gender? FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU! Your hatred of gay people is so intense that you would risk the well-being of these kids, who have finally found a place to live, and thrive; who would be permanently damaged if they were moved again???

And who's asking for SPECIAL RIGHTS? If I am born heterosexual, I am presumed to be a good parent; if I am born homosexual, I have to jump through fuckin' hoops and demonstrate SUPERIOR PARENTAL SKILLS before I would be considered an OK parent, and only as a LAST RESORT for troubled kids. And even then I risk constant court battles, harassment, emotional upheaval, and the horrible troubling thought of losing my kids. SPECIAL RIGHTS MY ASS. Gay people have to prove over and over again that we DESERVE to be treated fairly, and often have to demonstrate we are BETTER before any consideration of being treated fairly.

For a calmer view of this story, read Gay dads fight to keep custody of two sisters from July 16th, and this editorial, Character transcends ugly, crude stereotypes from July 28th.

leaving Manhattan

stroke

Log Cabin Republicans Vote to

do nothing. OK, maybe that's not fair. It took them a whole gut-wrenching, soul-searching 6 months to decide to.... do nothing. OK OK maybe that's not fair either, they had that commercial with all the hateful Republicans in it, and they've doubled their membership in 6 months, and then they decided to.... do nothing.

So, apparently he called me from his cab on his way home from the airport. He'd been gone two weeks, and while we haven't yet had a "proper" date (dragged him home one night; subsequently the old "I'll be at this bar, let's meet up" happened twice since then, making it 3 overnites), we had both expressed interest in doing that - a real date - when he got back in town. I got home last night afterwork and two after-work beers, and there was the message. So, he's back in town, but not even home yet, and he calls - that's a good sign, right?

compassionate conservative

In case you haven't seen/heard this - Young Republican Kicks Female Protester - "Watch this ABC news video of a young Republican supporter kicking a female protester inside Madison Square Garden as she was lying on the ground being held by three secret service agents. The protesters were arrested. The young Republican was not. A search is on for his identity. Have you seen him?" That was from the ACT UP demo last Wednesday morning.

And check out this interesting wrap-up of the protester's during Bush's acceptance speech Thursday night. Now of course, the guy kicking the protester is reprehensible (although not unexpected - and I don't mean that as a slam against Republicans, but more about the likelihood that someone in a group of YOUNG, enthusiastic political supporters would get out of hand); but I am glad to read that the two fathers of dead soldiers who protested (one during G Bush's speech, the other during Laura Bush's speech) were treated reasonably, and charges were actually not leveled against either of the two. Both men seem to have felt they were able to reach, at least on an emotional level, some of the delegates at the convention.

Looks like New Jersey Governor McGreevey is looking to go on TV before leaving office in "hopes to explain how he has struggled to suppress his homosexuality and to pursue a straight life. - Could be quite interesting.

Think this guy smokes pot?

Zell Miller, taking a break from his keynote speech Wednesday night, awaits his snack of a Democratic baby.

woo-hoo, I got mail!

no, no, not the jockstraps on the doorknob, but the fantastic BJORK pin on my manly chest.

A couple of aspirin and a bit of coffee is all I can handle this morning. And of course the regular web-surfing for news and eBay surfing for porn-pics. It's a beautiful 75 degreee day in Manhattan, only a few clouds and of course the ever-present sound of helicopters in the sky. Oh, I found this op-ed piece very interesting - Schrock, shock - the last two paragraphs of particular note:

"And at this point, it's necessary to point out a part of Schrock's statement that is false. He said the "allegations" would "not allow my campaign to focus on the real issues facing our nation and region."

Beg your pardon, but America remains a place where far too many people feel they cannot be safe while also being open about their sexual orientation. A place where too often gays and lesbians are denied opportunities open to heterosexuals - or those who pretend to be heterosexuals. Regardless of Schrock's sexual orientation, it is this painful truth that lies at the heart of the disintegration of his political career. Regardless of Schrock's sexual orientation, in a better world he would have run a campaign that sought to make America a place where sexual orientation isn't a cause for fear or deception."

ACT UP inside convention!

AIDS Activists Protest On Convention Floor - NY1 has video footage

I wanted to sell my used underware. I guess I have this weird fetish and now I am gonna see if I can make any money doing it."