Last night, Monday night, I was doing much as I am tonight - not much of anything, amusing myself with the silly notion that some guy online would come over and have hot hot sex with me and cheer me up. About 14 hours of this, and around 1 a.m., I figure it's time to get out of the house, and I put on jockstrap, button-fly shorts, etc. and bike up to The Phoenix. About to order my usual (Bud Lite), I glance up at the "on sale" sign, and the bartender says "Vodka Cranberry?" Monday nights, 2-4-1, and they know I'm cheap. Several minutes at the jukebox, then over in another isolated spot, I am figuring out my other options (I have the chip for my 2nd drink, but it's fairly dead in here), and a guy approaches. Pleasant enough looking, but no one I would seek out, he says hi. I say hi back, we sorta stall at this point. Then he pulls in a bit closer, says something a bit more clever, and I notice his smell. He has that out-all-night-drinking-just-woke-up-barely-made-it-to-work smell - ewwwwww! That is not a good smell, especially to someone who is just beginning his night out. After I slowly answer a few more of his questions with barely audible one-word answers, he says good-nite, and crawls into a corner. I feel kinda bad, but it was rather ghastly, that aroma. Leaving the bar I think "House of Regrets or The Cock?" As I get on the bike, there's a few drops of rain coming down, feels good, and I decide the loud music would be better than the boring exercise of pacing back and forth at the sexbooth place.

The place is packed! It's about 2:30 at this point, and the music is that K-tel New Wave Hits of the 80's variety, mostly pretty dreadful (apparently Duran Duran and Pat Benatar only made one song, since they only ever play the same damn one every time). But he throws in a few from my college days that i like (Blondie's Call Me, but alas, not the long version), I smoke some kitchenweed, and relax, watching people dancing fairly badly. But dancing nontheless, gotta give them credit, and I was beginning to enjoy my own vibe, watching from one of the couches, loud music, 3 a.m. in Manhattan, alone, but doing alright. Some cutie I've seen around is forcing his face down some guy's throat in the corner, another guy I've "done it" with in the buddy booth on 14th st years ago walks by, grins. Walking into the bathroom, I spot a guy I was introduced to the other night, he's looking good, I pat him on the belly as he walks by. A few minutes later, I see him on the couch, I uncharacteristically walk right up to him, and sit down next to him as he smiles in recognition. Blond is not usually my taste, but he has facial hair; long hair is rarely my taste, but he has hair on his chest, as well. We reintroduce ourselves, get cozier; he's living in Williamsburg, may be leaving the country soon, blah blah blah. A fantastic New Order tune starts up, and I tap the beat on his body playfully. We exchange some kisses; me on his head, he on my neck, a few mouth-to-mouth. Very Nice. He says something like "you should give me your digits before you leave, so we can hang out sometime." Hmmm. I smile, thinking that would be cool, but who said I was leaving? And can't you leave with me when I do?

So I'm sitting next to him, and its the superextended mix of New Order, which is quite cool, and he starts talking to some guy near us. We all exchange names, but I can't really hear them beyond the name thing. Then it looks like they are talking more intimately, like face to ear, but it's hard to see from where I am , cuz my new boyfriend has this long hair that's kinda in the way. And the song dies down, and goes into something awful, and they are still turned away where I can't quite tell, but it can't be good, so I head to the bathroom. While I'm in there, they call last call, so I know it's time to go, things don't get any prettier when the lights come on. I walk through the crowd back to the boys, as they are madly making out, practically horizontal on the vinyl-covered bench, and I keep walking, out the door, to my trusty bike.

Ugh. You know, if women had cocks, I'd give up on men so fuckin' fast.........