designated cocksucker

I have to say, I was pretty irritable for a good chunk of Monday merely because the Sunday night activity in the backroom was pretty lame. How sad is that? Two meager attempts, both initiated by the other guy, were far far less than satisfying. The first guy is someone I've seen around for at least two years. I'd see him at The Cock on off nights, back when the backroom was open 7 nights a week. Nice face, nice bod, very nice, thick, full cock. Not every time we'd see each other back there we'd connect, but often enough, and sometimes with another guy or two involved. He's even whispered in my ear when another guy was going down on him ("damn, you're much better than this guy") little compliments. So, the other night, I see he's got some guy dangling off his meat, and I start to watch (I love to watch, remember that for future reference). He spots me, smiles mildly, and as I get a bit closer, he reaches out, strokes my chest a bit, lightly touches the back of my neck, that sort of thing. His partner comes up for air, and he pushes me down. Only semi-erect, it gets fairly hard in my mouth real fast, as I also tug lightly at his balls, stroke his calves, etc. Looking up, he's making out with the other guy, a 4th guy comes up, the crowd gets too intense and pushy, I come up for air. I'm not very competitive in these situations, and as the crowd intensified, and others were attempting access, I slowly backed away. Taking a breather, I got a beer, walked around, but returned soon enough. Different guys surrounding him, this time two guys working on his slab, and he touches my back, lightly pulling me in. More soft stroking on my chest as he holds one of the guy's head down on his cock. When that guy lets it drop out of his mouth, I am encouraged to go down. Down there, I look up, his balls taste good, his cock is getting hard again over my face, I do my best to stuff it all in, and he's making out with someone. Don't get me wrong, it tastes good, it feels good, but somehow it's just not very satisfying. I get up, he has this slight disappointed look, tries the light stroking thing, then turns to kiss some other guy. Yup, that's it. Multiple mouths on his, but mine is only good for one thing. Hmmmmmmm.

More cruising around the bar, a bottle of water, some weed, watch some guy briefly stroke his slab at the urinal next to mine, a return trip to the backroom (the place is fairly small, so other than the bar, and the bathroom, there's nothing to do or see 'cept in the backroom). Here a tallish man walks past, slows down, we are able to make eye contact in the dark, and he pauses, he reaches out to me, and as I try to kiss his neck, he drops down. He has a handsome, strong face, but he wants to bury it in my crotch right away. I comply. I stroke his face with my hands, hold his head down firmly, and try to reach down with my mouth. He pulls back, still kneeling, staring straight at my cock. I attempt to gesture a "come up here and make out with me" look, but he tries more head. He's not terribly good (watch the teeth), but earnest, so for another minute or two I pump away. He pulls off again, still kneeling, staring at it. Not sure what I'm supposed to do (or maybe I'm just playing stupic cuz I don't want to play this particular game anymore), I try again, in vain, to get him back up near my face. No dice, he seems distracted, I zip up, go for another beer.

Yeah, it's the kissing thing. I can't pretend it's always a requirement for me, and there certainly are guys who I'll "do" but don't necessarily want to kiss, but it bummed me out, this compartmentalization of sex. "You lick my thigh; hey you, put your tongue on the left side of my butthole; hey big guy, nibble on my left earlobe." I suppose if i was the guy who could command men to do that, I might try it. But I'm not; and honestly, as much as I've enjoyed anonymous sex, I like it to be much more passionate, more affectionate, and more about the whole person (or at least the whole body of that other person). Rut. I'm in a bit of a rut. I work nights, and I keep forgetting that there's plenty of things to do during the day other than haunting AOL chatrooms or looking thru the pics on Cruisetool.com. I guess for the casual sex thing, I need to be a bit more realistic. Sure, I need to get my rocks off and I know I ain't quitting backrooms, pornotheatres, or chatrooms. But, if it ain't affectionate during our 2nd time together, there ain't gonna be a third time. Now get that huge, thick, full, hard throbbing cock out of my face. I mean it this time.