standing at the bar at 2:30, deciding between bottled water and beer, I knew getting the 4th beer would mean inability to do anything afterwards except ride home, eat junk food, and pass out. Looking around the room at the dozens of 25-year-olds, I got the beer.

I had just had one of those mini-beers at The Phoenix. Not sure when the dollar-draft-beer-night became little dixie cups of beer instead of the 12 oz mugs. I had started out the evening riding my bike up to the Eagle, paying the 6 bucks to get in for PORK, then drinking that first beer in all of 15 seconds. The few hairy fuzzy grrrr-let-me-taste-yer-balls men I saw didn't seem to see me, and I got discouraged fast. Then the performance began. I was upstairs, and could hear some guy yelling, encouraging guys to get closer to the stage so he could cum in their mouths. Intrigued, I went downstairs to see this goofball 'rap' badly something about liking p---y, and how much he loves p---y, then calling the audience p-ssies cuz they clearly weren't too keen on his "song." Still fully clothed, he pulls out a can of whip cream, and tried to get guys to let him "cum" in their mouths. Pussy, indeed.