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Monday, June 20, 2005

Piss Factory
You look so familiar, on which website have I seen your face? Or was that your dick? Naw, it was longer ago that that; oh shit. I wasn't saying these things out loud, but those few minutes waiting in line together, going back was it ten years? We may have seen each other since, but the last time we would've had a conversation of any sort was at a mutual friend's "service" back in..... '93? Neither of us mentioned that, just mindless chitchat about how he had lost his boyfriend and how I was looking for one to lose. Tons of familiar faces this evening on west 28th st. Got home before midnight miraculously, made food, passed out.

Now it's a bit of a blur, but there was plenty of flirting, beer, some making out, beer, waiting in line for bathrooms, beer, waiting in line for roof access, beer, and a whole lot of that which bar/sexclub/website/dream/nightmare do i know you from? going on most of the night. And there's that one guy, I see all the time, maybe once or twice a week now, totally handsome, and he usually just looks right through me, but today it seemed to be open hostility. Hasfuckin'gottobe my imagination, as we've never met, i just sort of leer and drool each time I see his face, but this was an exchange of money leading to beer, I think, and he couldn't even manage the slightest smile, not a word, or any acknowledgement of my existence but the taking of my cash and the body language of the soup nazi. jeez. has to be my imagination. There was more, but my old beer-drenched head can't remember, and chances are, when I do, I won't have pen and paper to record it.

I would rather smell the way boys smell--
Oh those schoolboys the way their legs flap under the desks in study hall
That odor rising roses and ammonia
And the way their dicks droop like lilacs
Or the way they smell that forbidden acrid smell