music and balls

Having decided not to see a movie with friends, nor go to a queer, but co-ed sex party, I flipped thru tv channels and AOL chatrooms for awhile. A young man popped up (well, his screenname, anyway) and I quickly recognized him as a trick from 2 years ago (I hate that word, but it's really the easiest way to describe the "slurp slurp, ooh yeah, right there, let me get a towel, get home safe. what's in the fridge" sorta encounter that is was). He danced around the issue for awhile, and I was being vague, as I had remembered our second time as being one of those "my god will this man ever cum!?" kinda evenings. But, ordering in on a Saturday night seemed like not a bad idea, and he had recently moved back into the neighborhood. The only other guy chatting me up was someone who kept asking "what do you do for a living" type questions, always responding with "cool", so I knew that was going nowhere.

But to my pleasant surprise, when he got here, he was handsomer than I remembered, I played a mixed CD from a good pal (thanks, Mike; we came during Fortune Presents Gifts Not According to the Book - Dead Can Dance - NO SHIT!), and we relaxed, etc, in the bedroom.

When he left, the night really picked up. I came in here, and got obsessed with finding and downloading "glitch rock"and various other sorts of electronic music. Nearly 3 hours of hunting and gathering (and of course boppin' my head listening, and annoying the neighbors with the too-loud, quirky sounds blasting from this p.c.) here are some highlights:

• all 4 tracks from Nobukazu Takemura's SIGN - take a listen to Cogwheel.
• Scratch-Pet-Land's sol 303 is an hilarous little tune
• something a little more accessible - popish? how 'bout - Stereo Total's I Love You, Ono
• or low-key with Tarwater's All of the Ants Left Paris
• then again, maybe some simple dance music from 7 Hurtz with Peaches and Bitch Lap Lap, covering Prince's Sexy Dancer

And check out this site with a few tunes from Kitty-Yo Compilation 2002.02 - I think there's a FLASH player with 3 pretty groovy songs on it.

gay adoption

about 2 weeks ago, a handsome young man residing somewhere to the west of here wrote some of his thoughts about the Diane Sawyer interview of Rosie ODonnel and the gay adoption lawsuit in Florida. I saw the show that night; in fact, I had just watched The Laramie Project on HBO2 just prior to the airing of Rosie's interview. So, her occasional derisions of "the gay activists" was nearly as annoying as Sawyer's poor handling of the interview of the stupid Florida Legislator. Reading HCL's blog the next day made me sad, and reminded me of my anger about the issue; but I wanted to give it some time to absorb.

First, some perspective. Two adults with differing sets of genitals can make a baby, and no one can interfere, period. Boom, they have a child. They can be drug addicts, cannibals, people who don't recycle, whatever, but no one can stop them from having a baby, period. That's nature, and there's no point in trying to get around that. (And taking children away from bad legal parents is quite difficult). If you don't fit that criteria, but want a child, it's trickier, of course. Two women have a better change of having a child, since one can get pregant, but 2 guys have to go completely outside their relationship to have a child.

Now, having said all that, it's also important to know that I don't think having a child is/should be necesarily considered a right. If you have the physical ability to do it, I don't want the government interfering too much with that, but, if you don't, and we're talking adoption, then I agree with the principle of "best interest of the child". But when government does get involved, as it must, it must set fair and reasonable criteria to meet the "best interests of the child." It should be rigorous and thorough in it's investigation of anyone foster-parenting or adopting. And that's where the Florida law fails, and fails miserably.

The creep on the Diane Sawyer Show, Rep. Ball, kept talking about this whole 2 differently gendered parents as this ideal. It's really about sex, and discomfort with queers. Rosie did keep hammering away at that issue, and I give her credit for being so clear and thorough about the unsaid issue - what about the kid's seeing you have sex? It's inapprorpiate for any parent to be sexual in front of children. Period. And he was left pretty much unchallenged by Sawyer, not delving into why there must be two, and why they must be of different genders. And while I used to be one of those folks who, if pushed, would say, "sure, good mom and good dad is better" I don't know if I agree with that so much anymore. I know lots of folks have grown up fine with single parents, but, to be honest, I think 2 good parents is better than one good parent. So I think my hierarchy, if I had to choose, would be 2 over single, but I wouldn't make a distinction over whether the 2 are the same or different genders, but if in a committed, life-time relationship, as MARRIAGE (if we had that!) is, then there's where I would go.

But, Florida allows single-parent adoption! And that's where these guys are shown as just bigoted butt-fucks! If it's ok to adopt as a single parent, how can 2 parents be inferior and unacceptable???? But Sawyer didn't call him on it, because asking reasonable logical questions isn't what a journalist does, right? And this is what made me sad about HCL's post. "I am NOT a role model for gays. " and Rosie was pretty much saying that she is a gay parent role-model. (And I have no reason to doubt that perhaps she is) I just hate this prooving we are BETTER in order to be treated fairly and equally crap that queers and other minorities seem to have to go through so often. WHY THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE TO BE A ROLE MODEL??? ya just got to be a good parent! Children do not need "perfect" parents-they need one or more caring and committed individuals willing to meet their needs and to incorporate them into a nurturing family environment. (yes, I lifted that last line from some single-parent adoption site, but it says it well, I think). Plenty of parents have their "flaws" - lots of parents drink, smoke dope, have affairs, and while I wouldn't advise doing those things necessarily if taking care of a child, I don't think you have to become a perfect person first before having children. It is the committment to doing whatever you have to. And it's a lot of hard work (they tell me), but I can't imagine anything more rewarding!

I have 2 siblings who have kids, and everytime I see them, I just see this wonderful world view from them. I just look at them as these amazing optimists, who chose to have several kids, because they love life so much. To me, if you see life as this wonderful journey, where you meet great people, learn fantastic things, experience deep emotions, and care about helping another person enjoy that, by teaching, and nuturing, and guiding, and crying and holding, and listening, and just being there, then, go for it. It's the scariest thing that you could do; and it should be scarey, cuz you gotta do it well. Not perfect, just well.

never mind the previous offer/plea - the video shown to the left, plus a quick call to 550-DADDY, took care of my needs.

Meanwhile, nothing like a Good Friday to remind me that there still are a lot of Hispanic Christians on the Lower East Side. I stumbled upon a procession going up Avenue B, about 2 blocks worth of people slowly marching as a sound truck blasted some chanting/singing. One guy near the front had a crown of thorns. But nothing like the one I saw last year in Thompkins Square Park, where they actually went up to the hill where folks usually sunbathe in the summer, and 3 crosses were there, waiting for the 2 crooks and Christ. I got in an argument with an "acquaintance", who seemed to think religion didn't belong out in the open, or some such nonsense. My attempts at some basic first amendment theory and law were met with squeals of anger, so I left, mumbling something about how if it was called "performance art" rather than religion, he'd be in the streets with protest banners wihtout blinking an eye if anyone thought of interferring.

I dunno why I'm still laughing a full day after first coming across this - via ultramundane - "brawny french guys"

and another thing...

emails. I've gotten some really great ones in the past few days, from folks who have some nice things to say. I have to admit, I'm not always good at getting back to folks, so if you haven't heard from me, or if an email was curt, nothing personal. I'm a slug. I slowly wake up, drinking coffee, surfing, etc, reading, but not really functional in terms of human interaction for several hours. So, just like Sister Bertrille, I am full of good intenetions, and sincerely mean to get to those emails, occasionally a few fall thru the crack, so forgive me, please. Also, I have this bad habit of deleting some spam-looking mail without opening, as I get a shitload from AOL and YAHOO addresses that appear to be penis-enlarging viagra-promoting Britneyspearsnudies, so if I accidentally deleted you, again, sorry. oh wait, I almost forgot this gem. Given the particulars, you might be able to understand why I never responded:

dear bj,
i am an 18 year old cute tight white bottom boy. i am a gay virgin from the tristate area. i think it would be a great timecapsole if i had my first time with a man taped. what do you think? i was wondering if i need acting expierence? i also kind of want a sceneraio for my first time: maybe two men on me (a jail scene), or a house boy scene. i don't own an enema, is that a problem? what about money? please respond!

yours truly,
j*********

p.s. i will fantasize about your stick popping my cherry...make it reality xxx

(yikes! I doubt this kid has read this blog, since CHERRY-POPPING isn't exactly on my to-do list, ya know. and, um, yeah, WHAT ABOUT MONEY???????)

Well, I haven't looked at the whole list, but will come back to it to see how many of the 50 COOLEST RECORDS I own and/or like. But, since one of only two women I'd ever have sex with (just to have the baby, mind you) is at #16 with Vespertine, let's celebrate with another Bjork remix, eh? Here's Sun In My Mouth - Recomposed by ENSEMBLE.

Hungover. I remember a really cute short guy with a sorta squeaky voice ( but in an adorable way) . I remember we talked, he complemented my looks (must've been the baseball cap shading my face). He asked to hold my hand for a moment. He was pretty drunk, and was with a pal. When I excused myself to go to the bathroom, he had left the spot we were talking in by the time I got back. I grabbed a beer, returned to the spot, and we made eyes from a distance, while he was back with his pal. Not much later, going down the stairs to smoke some pot with 2 buddies, our eyes met, and locked, for a few more moments. When we came back up, he was nowhere in sight, completely gone. Gosh, what a beautiful face. I had probably two more beers after that, plus a ton of junk food when i got in last night/this morning. While he was pretty drunk, and probably "useless" if-ya-know-what-I-mean, that would've been some great kisser to wake up to.......

well, that (below) took forever to publish (6 hours?) Need to get ready to get off GEOCITIES on April 1st ( yeah, I know, great day to transfer stuff over, cross my fingers, etc). Meanwhile, watching a Kristen Bjorn video, I'd forgotten how much those guys cum! And each "actor" doesn't cum just once, but minimum twice, often 3-4 times a scene. And no filler in these videos, that's for sure.

Anyone else having trouble with the Kansas City Trucking Co. clip loading? Got one report from a MAC user, Not working in OS X, but he managed to get it up, so to speak, in OX 9.x (whatever that means).

Beautiful, sunny, sad day today. grrrr.

hmmmm. Just logged onto DREAMHOST (where all my images, and all webpages except this blogpage are hosted) to check stats, etc, and saw they are offering more storage space, more GB's/month to transfer, etc. At first I was pissed, thinking new folks would be getting a better deal. But, I see that I am entitled to the extra storage space, and more bandwidth (woo-hoo!). So, of course I'm happy, and added their little logo on to the bottom of this page for anyone looking for a webhosting service (if you click thru there, and sign-up, i guess I get some $$).....blah blah, who cares, right? But I figure its time to post that KANSAS CITY TRUCKNG CO movie trailer! Which is a great coincidence, cuz someone emailed me having read me mention it in some old archived blog, and wanted to see it, and I cautioned him that poor, unemployed me has to watch the bandwidth allocation. So, let's hope y'all don't go crazy, but I think it's a cool trailer, so check it out by clicking the image: (if you think you'd want to watch more than once, save it to your harddrive with the old "right click, SAVE TARGET AS" by using this link)

If you saw that famous-people talk about their favorite movies with bright white background Banana-Republic/Gap Ad-style thing at the Oscars, maybe you can help me figure this out - It reminded me how much I used to LOVE that mustached Russian guy who was always hanging around with Mikhail Gorbachev. But what was his actual job? Why was he always with Gorbie? And more importantly, why was he in the background of the Gorbachev clip on the Oscars, silently smiling with that thick, bushy 'stache? (where Gorbachev talks about how much he liked Gladiator - hmmmm). Seriously, wasn't it like the only one where there was another person in the frame, and damn that guy's mustache looks as good as it did in the 80's! Can't say I blame Gorbie for having the guy around so much. Now, how do I get a decent picture of the guy? Did anyone tape the show, and can send me a still shot?

a word of advice

If you plan on going out sleazing, and get several close calls - including great mouths, hairy buttholes, firm grips, thick pieces, fuzzy chests, and low-hangers - do not leave your leather cock/ball divider cockring on when you crash if you haven't cum. Otherwise, you are in for some very painful morning wood.

very very very horny. And it's Sunday, which is a night I used to like to go out looking for sex, so.... Actually, The Cock is having another BLACK OUT party. Usually when one of those Circuit Parties is in town, The Cock does its cheaper version for us unemployed, D-list types. So, a few more bucks cover charge, even less lighting than usual, the usual crappy house, trance, hi-NRG club dance music, but men who somehow get much much friendlier when they pay 10 bucks instead of 8 bucks admission (and the fact that they can't possibly see who they are groping, tasting, sucking, face-fucking seems to help, too). And hell, I could use some sweaty fun.

And now, like any good gayboy, I can fret about what to wear for the rest of the evening. Leather pants and filthy broken-in tank top? Button-fly jeans with my fave jockstrap, and that thermal long-sleeve shirt that makes me look like I have no gut and an actual chest? There's always the dark green cargo shorts with the oh-I-didn't-know hole in the back, just under the pocket so you don't see, but you definately feel (too cold out, but those pockets are great for holding a beer, a joint, and money, all in separate places). There are those really worn jeans, Ramones-holes in knees, that are way too tight, and I keep promising myself to throw away, and the zipper won't stay closed (hehe). But if I really want to overanalyze ( a lovable or painful trait, depending on whether you are a current, or an ex boyfriend), I should realize the look doesn't really matter at a Black-Out party. It's the feel. Comfortable and sexy-inspiring for me (i.e. looser clothes with jockstrap/cockring beneath) or something geared towards potential partners, meaning either broken-in soft tight denim, or soft aromatic leather. Needless to say, the favorite cockring is a must, and maybe add one or two more for heft (or sharing).

Then again, I can stay home and fall asleep waiting for Best Picture (is Planet of The Apes in the running? - I think that's the only movie I saw all year).

Busy with porn videos today. Had a bunch to ship out (yeah! I need the money!) bought a few more, and am sorting some. While I generally don't go for the muscle guy solo stuff, reviewing these BUCKSHOT MINUTE MEN videos I came across recently (fee free to insert your own pun, double entendre, or snicker, here), I had forgotten just how alluring that Hal Rodman is. Not much of a dancer, and of course the motorcycle cop outfit is a bit cliche', but still, with a nightstick like his...... (ok, I couldn't help it, but you just have to see that thing bounce around to see what I mean!). The Joey Arena one is great, too; the boxcover pic just doesn't do that man justice, though.

Never really thought of Jason Branch as a particularly hairy guy, but HIS VIDEO has him, and a whole bunch of other faves on a page featuring thier Hairy Men and BEAR videos. How handy!

Friday night. Food in the fridge, Hitchcock's The Birds on the tube. What more could anyone ask for? (well, okay, but I'm single, and too lazy to, well, get off my fuzzy ass).

very very pre-occupied with the mourning doves. This is a first - they are both perched on the nest!

One of my favorite porn topics is the use of pop music in the movies. Almost always used without permission and without paying any royalties, at least in the early days of porn, but no one was paying much attention, and they got away with it. While looking at a Toby Ross video today, The Last Surfer with Michael Christopher, it's chock-full of 60's pop - Shop Around, Run Around Sue, Wooley Booley, Alley Oop, Where Did Our Love Go, Soldier Boy, I'm Your Puppet, 96 Tears, Love Potion #9 , and more! Of course, some folks don't like their music used for gayporn, as is the case with Miss Connie Francis.

Blogreading this morning, and this post made me laugh. But try it with some music. Seriously, upload this song first, then play it while reading this funny post.

Been keeping busy the past 48 hours with a friend from out of town. While we've known each other for about 2 years, this was the first time we'd met in person. Was very fun to attach a body to a voice/emailer/instant messenger...... wait, that doesn't sound quite right! I mean, it was good to finally meet, but after spending 2 years of chatting/emailing online, plus numerous packages via snail mail, it was just seeing an old friend, more than meeting someone for the first time, and we got into chatting and hanging out quite comfortably right away. Last night was a great meal (a belated birthday treat for me from him, yeah!) at O G about 2 blocks from here, after having cocktails at the Hudson Hotel where he stayed. We ate way too much, so I wasn't able to really keep up with him drinking, and I could tell by the end of the evening at The Phoenix, he was getting tired, as well. Now with the rainy cool, day, I am pretty much a vegetable, but he promised to come back in the summer, and this time I hope he stays here, and for more than 2 days. That way we can really hang out without feeling the need to do New York-y things (although I swear I really want this saddle that I saw while shopping for a tie for him at the HERMES store on Madison Ave).

gosh, just after posting that, I looked at the Hotel website - that sort of music was playing constantly as you walked around the hotel - in the lobby, bathrooms, elevators - you felt like you were on a runway the whole time - we were probably the only people who weren't tall, skinny, and wearing all black!