HAPPY NEW YEAR

fer some reason i was looking thru old posts, and wondered jsut how long ago I took the nypd/newyear's pic, and found it was way back on New Year's Eve in 2001. so above, i did my best to re-create it (ignore the extra pounds). the fake smile seems to be close, however. ha, i wonder if it was fake, or if i was genuinely having fun, taking pics in jockstraps.... it wasn't that long ago, but damn, 7fuckinyears and wow.... the things that have changed, and goddam, the things that are the same. would rather not contemplate that now, but most likely will in the coming hours as I put the fake smile on, and head out to NOWHERE for the celebration. i shouldn't be so harsh, there will be good friends, and for that i am extremely grateful. but last night, after a few beers, and some guy was jsut trying his best to pick me up, and i was happy for the attention, but it made me sad. sadder than if i had been left alone, cuz that wouldn't been a different kind of sad, not the cystal clear recollection of june 2005 gaypride weekend, when i was jsut having a blast, having met the man of my dreams. oh fuck, he wasn't that - because i never had an idea of what that would be; i just knew after that first overnight, sitting in a diner on 8th avenue, listening, and looking into his eyes and imagining him 20, 30 years on, and yeah, i want to get to know this guy... sigh.

and what about this one - New Year's Eve, 2004 - what's with that? fun with self is important, but sometimes, sometimes i just wish there was that special someone to share my hotmanpiss with, ya know?

ok, so at least i can make myself laugh - most of the time, that's half the battle. See y'all at NOWHERE, and remember, "you wear the jockstrap, i'll do the sniffing."

"I wanted CHA-CHA heels....BLACK ones!"

"I hate you, I hate this house, I hate Christmas!"

I guess it's a holiday tradition to re-run this post - Xmas 2007, 2006, 2005, and gosh from 2003!! - but c'mon, it's DIVINE, ferchrissakes! So, I hope you all enjoy this clip I snagged a couple years back from kweer.com's FEMALE TROUBLE pages.

EASY COME EASY GO

O O Baby
Dear God Please Help Me

two bits of advice from a man you shouldn't be listening to since his own life is such a mess, but that's another story..... do NOT buy the 10-song version of this album; you MUST buy the 18-song version - otherwise consider yourself a stupidfuckingidiot; and, do NOT listen to individual songs (like just the two posted here) but rather, the whole album, in order, several times, before making any judgments about how and whether you dig this album.

as we they like to say in the porn business, it's a grower.

Get Happy!!

milk

just can't put my finger on it...

... why I like this picture

help, por favor

I've been obsessed with the exit polls for a week now. And wanted to write something about the controversies surrounding California's Prop 8 vote ---- but, this is where i need help, for some reason I can't read this - CNN California page - can the rest of you read it?? As this "exit poll" (more on why its in quotes later) is the sole source of the "Blacks voted against us" I see all over websites and blogs, I wanted to take a closer look at that, and my other issues with the exit polls. Lemme know if y'all can read it and it's just my crummy computer acting up - otherwise I'll have to rely on my memory of reading the page last week.

update: i figured out the reason I can't view the page properly - g*ddam CA Security Firewall! but there are some crazy stats on that page; too sleep to go into it, maybe more later

Best Little Warehouse In L.A.

director: William Higgins (1982)

Starring: Michael Christopher, Giorgio Canali, Mike Dean, Dusty Sands, Morgan, Cliff Austin, Terry Craig, Frank Johns, Rick Kennedy, Ed Michaels, Lance Whitman

Click one of the pics to view the movie trailer (you know that if you view the clip in the browser, you can "right click" and view it FULL SCREEN, right?), or here if you want to download and save for later.

OF COURSE - this DVD is up for auction ( BEST LITTLE WAREHOUSE IN L.A. - item #180305446571 - auction ends Sunday November 16th)

BADBOY

i stole, er, lost, this sign last night

yawn, can't get out of bed!

BIG GUNS

I love this scene, sexy and sensual - I'll try to (up)load the 2nd half (the half with sex) of the scene later

Director: William Higgins (1987)

Starring: Mike Henson, Jeff Quinn, John Davenport, John Rocklin, Chris Gray, Kevin Williams, Chad Douglas, Kevin Wiles, Mike Ryan, Rocky Armano, Jeff Boote

Click one of the pics to view the movie trailer (you know that if you view the clip in the browser, you can "right click" and view it FULL SCREEN, right?), or here if you want to download and save for later.

OF COURSE - this DVD is up for auction ( BIG GUNS - item #180303194133 - auction ends Sunday November 9th)

Apparently, Senator, there IS a God!

My first tequila shot of the night came with the news: Hagan wins Senate seat held by Dole.

And we're going to take this country back for the people who built it.

"Our challenge today is not to re-hash what has happened, but to look forward, to make the Democratic Party a 50-state party again, and, most importantly, to win." - Howard Dean, December 2004. I encourage you to click and and read the whole speach, AFTER you vote!

update:

It's not that the line was long, it wasn't (but certainly the longest I've gotten into to vote); and of course, the variety of folks in line was, as usual, quite diverse; but I'd never seen such organization at my polling place. As the young Hispanic man looked at my voting postcard and saw my ED and began to move me up into the right line, he grabbed one of the "hoodlums" from my neighborhood to follow, but we were stopped as another election worker called this guy to help an elderly black woman. She explained how she is registered in Harlem, but not sure where, and looked quite worried about what to do. They patiently explained that they would look up her polling place, and that she would probably be filling out a paper ballot, and he took her hand and led her, and us, inside. Just as he was about to point to the table I should wait at, he noticed my cap, and asked me to take it off. (I was fairly confident that in NY I didn't have to, but I was in no mood to argue). I stood in line and fought back tears, hoping I could put that off til I was inside the booth. Waiting there, I turned to look at the extremely busy room, and my neighbor, the "hoodlum" was in line behind me. (I call him that with affection, as I know his face from the 15 years I've lived here, seeing him as a kid, and turn into a noisy, rowdy teenager, with the car radio blaring, and public fights with his buddies late into the night...) So, as I turn, I see the biggest smile on his face, as he nods recognition at me, the first time in 15 years he acknowledged my existence. He was practically giddy as they gave him a paper ballot to fill out, closely paying attention as he got his instructions on what to do. My eyes are welled up, but surprisingly, once in the booth, there was just this calmness as I pulled the lever, and remembered the camera.... I still can't believe this day!

going live

OK,wish me luck. And a big thanks to the gentleman who donated a bunch of DVD's and tapes to the BJ Bettermen Fund. checkout the auction link below again, should work now. But my eBay has changed since I was last selling a few months back! The VHS is a subcategory of "DVD's and movies" - and worse yet, the GAY ADULT is not segregated from the str8!! EWWWWWWW!!!!!

Yes he can

... but gotta get my ASS in gear to sell off some sh*t, ya know? Hey, anyone still checking in here, can you view this eBay listing? (It's not up yet, and you have to have an account, in the US, but if you can see the listing, lemme know, K?

(Grant Fagan,who appears in the DVD about to go up for sale, Because They Can)

hmmmmmmm.......

garsh....

Make the right choice

now, he may not seem to be my "type" but besides the rather lovely balls (i might even say tasty), i do have a bit of a weakness for the subtlety of the ass view - just a bit revealed, lightly hairy, round and firm. I'm not much for the typical buttshot, straight on, glaring and winking at ya; but the partially hidden, view from the front, maybe just a bit under (like Bruno below - yummmm!) - that can get me going!

Make the right choice

Make the right choice

mural near my home

ya gotta love the scarey McCain invading from... Canada?

balls

love 'em. love lickin 'em. bury my face in 'em.

Tenderfoot and the Cowboy

Starring: Jack Wrangler and Jim Rogers (1981?) I suggest you turn the sound UP - it's great!

Click one of the pics to view the movie trailer (you know that if you view the clip in the browser, you can "right click" and view it FULL SCREEN, right?), or here if you want to download and save for later.

(yes, it's a repeat from Dec '05)

peak-a-boo

sometimes life is difficult, but ya gotta anyway

on-line flirting

he: what are you up to?
me: getting ready to watch the Daily Show
he: it sounds like someone should come give you the daily show

(sigh)

yeah. really lovin' the single life.....

Sherry & Terri

who was that hot bear couple with houseboy (who's been permitted to wear clothes for the occasion) near the end of the debate? who can send me a still pic of that thruple?

more porn, less of that other stuff

yeah, right

now, identifying the "head" is easy - the beard, adorable hairy back of Steve Taylor (Al Parker's parnter; not to be confused with Steve Scott, a director who worked with Al Parker frequently, or Scott Taylor, who has appeared in movies made by both Steve Scott and Al Parker) - but who's the other guy with the lovely crotch? I think this is from a Surge Studio magazine called "Surf's Up - no doubt smutjunkies has more info.

UPDATE: or, i could search my own website for a clue.

just around the corner

Soon every block will have Chairman Obama's image painted on it; in the meantime, you'll have to come down to Avenue C. Was cool getting a chance to see the beginnings of this mural, in all seriousness.

Voter Abstinence

i heart steven colbert

mornin'

s'all i got today

OK, Ohio, yer up!

Vote, Baby, Vote - Same day registration/voting in Ohio for one week-starts today - "In Columbus, voters wanting to cast ballots as soon as possible on Tuesday morning had set up tents Monday night to wait in line outside the Franklin County Board of Elections." - How cool is that?

And by the way, Double Headed Disco's special Obamarama Saturday night kicked ass! Working the door and taking money from complete strangers was really cool, and we raised over $400 bucks in that first hour alone! (then i went on to drink, and flirt, and drink, and act inappropriate (I swear i didn't know he was yer boyfriend) with all sorts of folks, and drink more, and act appropriate with others - and that room in the back that is not a back room is fun, nonetheless! Democracy rules,man!

Info here - VOTE FOR CHANGE. And you Ohioianians, free oral sex for y'all if you vote early (I'll need photographic evidence)

Tracer

flippering!! and lobtailing!! (Ptown 9/16/08)

i think this one's name is Tracer.

OBAMARAMA! 2nite

Tonight's Double Headed Disco party is a BARACK OBAMA fundraiser

and I'll be working the door! and least early in the evening. later I'll be working the...oh, wait, I was told I can't do that at a political fundraiser... goddamn intolerant liberals. And last night's Presidential Debate Drinking Game was a bit of bust - we hadn't assigned a drink instruction for each time McCain mentioned Petraeus- goddamn that McCain has a big ol' boycrush on that General Patraeus! See you boys later (and that room in the back is not a backroom.....) - and meanwhile, VOTE FOR CHANGE.

meanwhile

still have the memories, and a GIG of pics and clips!

moody

i think my good friends, and certainly the ex, would agree that if there was one word to describe me, it would be moody. The vacation was good, and of course, way too short. I may get around to more details; then again, what mattered most about the vacation were insights into myself, and as that thought process is still evolving, I well might not delve into that in public. This space had been good at times to sort of hash things out, let the fingers do some thinking and wondering for me, but I am somewhere else in my life, and rambling just doesn't cut if for me anymore. of course, that can change, and certainly the occasional porno will be up here again (when? WHEN!?); but decisions in my life have been waiting too long to be made, and I need to get away from this machine, this place, and figure out what is next.

music question from a gay porn movie

A reader sent in this music clip from New York City Pro, asking for help identifying it. Somehow he grabbed the sound clip right off the DVD, so there's bits of dialogue in there - anyone know who did the music, and the title of the tune?

OBAMARAMA!

This Saturday's Double Headed Disco party is a BARACK OBAMA fundraiser - get details here - and I hope to see all you locals in attendance.

Even if you aren't local, or just can't make it, please vote. Finding out how to vote is now quick and easy. Using this tool you can:

1. Register to vote.
2. Request to vote absentee.
3. Find your polling location.

Even though I just voted in the New York primary 2 weeks ago, I tried it anyway to see how quick and easy it was. And HEY - it's quick and easy! So all you U.S. citizens reading this - I urge you to click that link above to make sure you are registered, to register, get absentee ballot info, etc.

If you're an election junkie like me, you probable already check out FiveThirtyEight.com several times a day; if not, give it a whirl.

Holy F**k

I finally get the hang off taking a good clip, but the video cuts short! I embarrassed myself using a naughty word in front of kids and older ladies; but the nice lady next to me made me laugh (and mistakenly click the "off" button") when she said "getting a little excited there, dear?"

back

nothing to say, lots to think about. it was good, very good. and a bit rough, emotionally, and that's ok - that's who i am, that's what i do. lots to think about (did i say that already?) and luckily, at the same time, lots of joyful, happy thoughts that help while doing that. more pics, and maybe a video or two, to come (eventually)

later,guys!

long overdue, much deserved, highly anticipated,V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N! Realizing you'll miss me, here area few links from the bearborhood to keep you occupied for the next week:

thisguy

thatguy

thisotherguy

thatone

whosthisguy?

jackhammer vs morning glory

any regular reader - familiar with my complaints/concerns about job, money, lovelife (not to mention I am simply NOT a morning person), etc. - could safely assume that on a wednesday morning, with the constant sound of a jackhammer for the past 78 minutes, i would be in a foul mood.

but wait. look at the pretty flowers, crawling up the cable outside my window, here on the 5th floor. awwwww. and feel that cool breeze, and bright, warming, enveloping sunshine..... awwwww. and (OK,OK,I risk ruining the mood if I continue examing.... time to run, anyway)

the first time

i went to provincetown (back 2004) i went alone, and it was good. then, in 2006, i went with the (then) boyfriend, and it was good. saturday I return, with a good buddy, and it will be good.

fivedays

amazing how swiftly my mindset can change. totally fearing going into work. hmmm, fear is the wrong word. i just don't want the aggravation. yesterday, in a happy mood,it seemed so far away - work - and I let myself get lost in just contemplating the previous night's all around "goodness". OK, ok - to self: SHUT UP! in 5 days you will be on vacation, out of town!!! 2 days ago you met a nice man and had fun with him, not to mention your best friend!!! you are SURROUNDED by nice stuff, so stop yer WHINING! - sheeeeeshh! OK, so that helped. got my pants, my shoes on.... but but...

oh look at the pretty morning glory outside my window - 5 floors up! (t-shirt on, wallet in pocket....)

OK, I am officially over myself. put a smile on yer face, hop on the bike, get it over with already.... bye

Quiet fear of the passing time

as the first few thumping notes of My Spine (Is the Bassline) emit from the speakers, I bounce out and away from the handsome man who's got my attention, grab the deejay and order him to bend over so I can fuck him, punching his shoulder to the beat - "best (punch) - fuckin (punch) - song! (punch) I tell him as I try to bend him over but he's stronger than I remember, and besides, sheesh-geez! not gonna do that, the deejay's my friend - i'm just having a really good time. Of course, now that I am a few yards away from the handsome man, as I walk back, i get to take a longer view of his face..... mmmmmm.

now, the night had its ups and downs. well, no - only one down - a horriblehorrible LOUD horrible movie -Thunderbolt & Lightfoot - or something like that, allegedly a comedy (did I mention it was horrible); the rest were ups. Before the movie, goodfood with a great friend, then we headed to nowhere for drinks, and it was fairly quiet for a Saturday, which was nice. and just talked to a handful of friends/barbuddies/friends-of-friends, each other. anyway, it was a good enough night, and then it got better when the handsomeface was attached to a nice,fun, (blah blah dontgettooexciteditsjustonenicenight) man. that's all i'm sayin'- oh, and i think pizza was involved during the walk home.

a few seconds on the beach

dunno who they are; FI from 2 weeks ago

don't ask

sleepy, late for work, and this is just an ad from 1974

Won't Someone Please Think of the Children??

"Umm so she has a down's syndrome baby and a pregnant teenage daughter and she dares run for VP with all this drama going on in her family right now? Won't someone think of the children? How can she even see what's good for the country when she has so many family issues going on? Where's the family values here? The VP isn't a fucking day care ESPECIALLY when you are VP to a 72 year old man"

i know, it's only the East River, but.....

• lulu
  
• 10,000
• mr green
  
• ms robinson

If you wanted the sky I would write across the sky in letters.......

yup, still here

anyone know who that speaker on Monday night was (C-SPAN - earlier in evening) kept referring to Obama as Barack-o-Rama? i was shouting and laughing at the tv simultaneously; but looks like i was only one who noticed this.

I've been glued each night since i've gotten home to C-Span (those cable networks promising "gavel-to-gavel coverage" are soooo full of crap! "news"commentators yapping away while somewhere in the background people are talking on a podium is NOT coverage!) but i digress. so i'm a political junkie, and good thing. gives me a few hours each night to get lost in the larger world, and out of my own head.

my own head? still giving me trouble, but I'm kinda accepting that. the man i pay to listen to me threw out "a year, it'll be a good year" before i begin to really get over/past this break up. i kinda knew that, and this confirmation, while it's somewhat bothersome, at the same time it helps me to not get so impatient with myself, and my everymorning sadness. it's gonna be there, it's common, it's part of the process. yuck - but there's no shortcuts, so breathe, and be patient with yourself - this is what i gotta tell myself each day (actually several times a day).

perhaps the weekend will bring some more porno back to this space

"....keeps them in prison, until they are capable of loving someone other than themselves..."

Falconhead Two: THE MANEATERS

directed by: Michael Zen (1983)

Starring: Paul Barresi, Rick Taylor, and introducing Blake Palmer; with Brad Mason, Paul Monroe, Steve Collins, Danny Combs, Vito Bonetti, and David Jones; The Transvestites: Sabato, Monica, The Garage Girls; Voices: Christian Black, David Samuels, Lawrence Deo

Well folks, I dug out the old clip, and it wasn't recorded well, with blips and pauses and crap, so I had to really dig to find the ol preview tape, and here ya go. I have to say, this makes me sad (yeah, I know, everything makes me sad, don't it?) but sad is probably the wrong word - pensive, thoughtful (full of thought, not "considerate" thoughtful) but the music, it frames this as the memory of sex; which isn't always bad, i guess. like when you're lying in bed after that guy you met last night, the guy who's just visiting NY and you both figured "what the heck" and you just go for it - passionate, no worries about too much or too little, nothing to lose, just giggling and licking and not worrying about top or bottom or am i too kinky or too vanilla - cuz in 12 hours, he's gone, out of town, and so give it all you got and don't worry. And then he's gone. and you're alone, and it went well, and you wonder, "what if" - and you smoke a cigarette, or joint, or sip coffee, and wonder.... and romanticize the relationship you coulda had..... It's stoopid, cuz you know better; none of the real stuff happens in the first night, or the first few weeks or months, even - it's later that counts, and tests you, and him. but even knowing this, you still romanticize, just give me that chance again, and this time i'll behave - i'll be patient, and thoughtful, and also not let shit build up, and get put off - no more we can deal with that later mindset - ya know? and you miss him.

oh, and the movie? I think it's fantastic, and guess what, you can't find the complete film anymore, cuz sometime in the late 80's in got cut, and a coupla years back, when it finally got transferred to DVD, it's missing somewhere between 10-20 minutes. SHEEEEESH! And the scene with servant Brad Mason turning the tables on his boss Steve Collins and f**king him, condomless (it's 1983), but Collins is completely wrapped in saran wrap - soooo cool! and missing from the DVD! It's only a short coupla minutes, but still! A bit more the last time I posted the clip is here - Falconhead Two: THE MANEATERS.

Click one of the pics to view the movie trailer (you know that if you view the clip in the browser, you can "right click" and view it FULL SCREEN, right?), or here if you want to download and save for later.