........well, after 10 weeks of no one but me doing it - I finally had a man's hands on my balls today.

Unfortunately, it was a professional. (No, I wasn't paying him to touch my balls, specifically) A visit to the doctor's office, and he pulled on his rubber gloves and tried to explain how to check my balls for any unusual signs. Of course, standing there completely naked with a guy holding my nuts, looking down at myself all I can think about is how tiny my dick looked - it was so friggin' shrivled up - the ol' 'frightened turtle' look. Pre-occupied with that, I was completely not paying attention to his instructions. I didn't even have it in me to joke that checking my balls once a month wouldn't be a problem, as I already do it every twelve minutes.