Stalk me, baby!
ok. so maybe it's NOT technically stalking, but, it's been 5 weeks, and this guy just keeps calling! I don't want to give David Z's name out (gee, hope he isnt that guy from Prince & the Revolution with the bad hair!), so lets just use one of his AOL names here, "tknabath".
Now remember, we've never actually met; he was visiting New York 5 weeks ago, and he was supposed to meet me for dinner , and arrived 45 minutes late (accordinging to one of the 4 messages he left that night)(go here and here for those blogs), 5 minutes after I gave up waiting for him. We have never spoken since then (he hangs up when I answer!!) Here are the messages he's left on my machine in the past 24 hours
- tknabath: oh i wanted to tell you the good news, i sold a $60,000 painting today, so, that's great news........(machine cuts off )
- tknabath: (nothing)
- tknabath: sorry i got disconnected..... (machine cuts off )
- tknabath: hey pumpkin, WAKE UPPPPP!!! HEY baby, Wake UPPP!!!!!! we just got in, we miss you; anyways, i guess i'll talk to....(machine cuts off )
- tknabath: where ARE you???, you said you were gonna be home, you told me to call you, WHERE ARE YOU??? oh well
- tknabath: HEY-ayyy! i wanted to wish you a happy 4th of july, anyways, just wanted to say HEY, got your phone call the other day, anywayss, I just wanted to talk to you; you said you'd be home, we're having a cookout tomorrow, anyways, and let me know if you want to come, hope all is well, gosh, i'm just eating up your tape, it was so sweet to get your message, anyways, You're the best, anyways, i guess i'll just talk to ya later!
- tknabath: HEY pumpkin, i think your answering machine cut me off, and i just wanted to talk to you a bit longer, anywayssss, I had fun tonight, i wish you were here with me, we had a ball, anyways, sorry its so late, but i just wanted to talk with ya....
- tknabath: HEY-ayyyYY!!!!, call me. alright? i got lots of great information to tell you, wonderful news, cant wait to share it with you.
- tknabath: HEY! anyways, i guess you are not home, but I'm coming back to NY - that should be fun. Anyways, i think i told you i sold a painting for $65,000, and i'm psyched about that; anywayss.....
- tknabath: HEY, you must've gotten a lot of messages, you must be very busy, anyways...
- tknabath:HEY BABY!!!!, just wanted to call you
- tknabath: oh, wanted to ask you, too, about Madonna, got tickets and wanted to know if you wanted to go, so call me...
- tknabath: Hey , maybe you went to the Hamptons for the 4th, anywayssss, just calling you up-PP, talk witcha later
- tknabath: HEY, pumk....(machine cuts off)
- tknabath: HEY ...did you find out your ring size yet?? let me know....
- tknabath: HEY!!!!! (machine cuts off )
- tknabath: HAPPY 4TH of.... (machine cuts off )
- tknabath: (nothing)
- tknabath: (nothing)
- tknabath: (nothing)
- tknabath: HEY!! HELLLLLL-OOOOOH!!!! (machine cuts off)
- tknabath: just returning your call
- tknabath: hey, you must be out of town....... (machine cuts off )
- tknabath: (nothing)
- tknabath: hey, its david (machine cuts off )
He use to have a pattern. He'd call in the morning before work, he'd call when he got home from work. He'd call late at night, sometimes because of sleeplessness over obsessing about me (after all, I'm a 40 year old balding unemployed man, who can't keep his hands off his own balls in public, and who's sole ambition is to have ambition - quite a catch!); sometimes from just not getting enough you-know-what from those HOTlanta sex clubs he likes to frequent. OOPS, did I say that? Sure hope his Mom doesn't read this! He did mention the ONLY reason he doesn't do porn is that his Mom is anti-porn.
Well, since i've been having such bad luck getting any kind of date lately (not a SINGLE sleepover in 6 months!!) I just bought an air ticket to Atlanta to confess my UNDYING LOVE AND DEVOTION in person I am now ready to take the plunge!
cross your fingers for me!
