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45 Caliber Government Issue

I feel asleep the other night with C-Span on... and drifted in and out of sleep to the sounds of oral arguments on that 2nd Amendment case. While I strongly believe in gun control, I must say that my suspicions of government, and because my views generally are strong in limiting government intrusion into people's lives makes me open to hearing discussions about just how far the government can go in "protecting" us from guns, as well as limiting our ownership of them, as well as other things.

So, in and out of sleep, I realized I have this disturbingly sexy scene form a 1980's film, and - gee, I'm selling a copy, so why not tease y'all with the PG-rated first 2-1/2 minutes! I think they make a very erotic couple, and Costello Presley's score is just perfect. Even John Davenport funny faces while slobbering on cutie-pie Chris Gray's face just feels authentic and sexy. See for yourself - then beg me to upload the remaining 7-1/2 minutes of the scene.

BIG GUNS

Director: William Higgins (1987)

Starring: Mike Henson, Jeff Quinn, John Davenport, John Rocklin, Chris Gray, Kevin Williams, Chad Douglas, Kevin Wiles, Mike Ryan, Rocky Armano, Jeff Boote

Click one of the pics to view the movie trailer (you know that if you view the clip in the browser, you can "right click" and view it FULL SCREEN, right?), or here if you want to download and save for later.

OF COURSE - up for auction ( BIG GUNS - item #180224700480 - auction ends Sunday March 23rd)

ARCADE

director: Jim West (1984)

Starring: Eric Stryker (AKA Noel Kemp, Mike Kelly), Nick Rodgers (as the Security Guard), Kevin Hunt, Jose Castiore, Phillip Todd, Joey Roma, Chip DeLorme, and Zed Michaels

Click one of the pics to view the movie trailer (you know that if you view the clip in the browser, you can "right click" and view it FULL SCREEN, right?), or here if you want to download and save for later.

OF COURSE - up for auction ( ARCADE - item #180224740766 )

this 'n' that

let's see:

• it's GORDON Grant, not gordAn. And the film these shots are from is Brentwood's LIFEGUARD, not Lancer Brooks' (AKA Tom DeSimone's) Hot Truckin', which, by the way, as many of you know, was Mr. Grant's only talkee (ooooooooh Mr Grant!).
• The tube socks belong to Target model Tony Nero (alas, no known film or video work).
• the day I posted the tacky "Rent-inspired" North Fork Bank photo, the bank changed hands, and is now CAPITOL ONE.
• thank you to the gentleman who correctly identified "Mystery Man" as Target's REB (then,a quick search of my Target folder showed two pics labeled target_REB - D'oh!)
• and yeah, it was kinda unfair to post those three pics of hot hottie Ray Medina and Jack Wrangler without having a link to a video clip - who knows, maybe soon....
• and of course, the pic to the side has nothing to do with anything, but - isn't the holster a bit big for such a small gun?

Honey, give me a real gentle knife

Rippin Kittin (Turner Mix)

what's wrong with this (these) picture(s)?

Besides the fact that you're not in it, there are at least 2 things wrong....

1983

May, 1983, graduated college, drove up from Alabama back home to Chicago with the parents, packed my bags and within a couple of days, moved to NYC. Had a job lined up, an apartment sublet from a college buddy who had graduated the year before. Was very exciting, needless to say, to be here at age 22, late nights at The Bar, Boy Bar. Also, I lived in what turned out to be a very gay building on east 15th street. And I loved hanging out on the front stoop, even with grumpy old man chastising us for blocking his way into the building; but the nonstop views of all sorts of people walking by..... i used to keep notebooks. I'd sit on the stoop, or in a corner of The Bar, or over in the West Village leaning against a building, and write. Often letters to friends, and family; often just to myself. I think the thing that grabs me most when I occasionally have the courage to look back into those notebooks, is despite the excitement of the big new city, and all the interesting people, and foods, and smells, and the rest, was the overwhelming sense of loneliness.

And the good thing about keeping those notebooks, or even simply remembering what's in them, is to realize its just part of life; more importantly, my life. Loneliness just is. You have it when you're alone, and when you are with a bunch of friends, and even when you have a loving and wonderful boyfriend. Sometimes you just want to cry, and be sad, and it just is. But you've been through it before, you'll go through it again, and you know that (so far) you'll always get through it. But sometimes it's deeper, and scarier, and its not just winter blues, or job stress, or arguing constantly with the one you love, but you have this sense that things just ain't right, and you are clueless, and seemingly helpless, to do anything about it. You flip through channels, surf websites and look at naughty stuff as distraction, but... it's procrastination.

Nearing 50, and just now having a "real job" and health insurance (OK, I've had them before, but this blog started during the unemployed years period, continued thru the underemployed period, and well, you get the idea), someone who wants to plan a future together, and yet.... I'm lonely and lazy and lethargic, and aimless, and..... it's not self-pity, this writing it all out - it's been too long where I've tried this space for sorting thru things, so skip on to the dirty pics if you must, this is for me. I have to get to that point, that point where I am not stuck on "what is the point of all this" but the point where "all this" doesn't matter, where I'm not stuck on analyzing, but to a place that sometimes comes back, a place where I am both OK with just running out the door and enjoying the sun shining and a walk in the park, and have also done a bit of planning for the future - not scary retirement fund stuff (although that might be wise to do soon), but something in terms of a trip, something in the near future to look forward to... because lately, and for too long, it's all been about dread. Dreading the next day of work, and all its stoopid silly problems and crisises, and the dread of the next argument with the boyfriend where you worry who is going to say something that just can't be taken back.

perhaps i need to get back to notebook-me; off the computer, and the aches and pains of my body contorting to it, here and at work, and more mobile-me with a notebook, getting out of this apartment, and into the world, and maybe that will help with some movement forward. I've got plenty of neglected friends who I need to get in touch with, and NYC has plenty of places to sit and park, and as much as I think I am in a financial crisis, i'm not, really. income is coming in, rent is paid, and I can work out the debt slowly and surely as I have been, I just need some patience and perspective, which i am not getting, here, at this desk, in this room, this room i spend most of my days in for the past 14ish years.

So, um, that's lovely Ray Medina (AKA R.W. Stone) above. I love the hairy forearms, but I suspected the lovely hard but smooth chest may not be real; a bit of research - well, plugging in one of my favorite movies, Steve Scott's Wanted, the opening scene with AL Parker and jailcellmate Will Seagers are watching poor sweet Ray being forced at gunpoint to give warden Jack Wrangler head. And there he is, on his knees, Jack's schlong out of his fly, hanging in front of his hairy body - yup, there's the proof, hairystud Ray.

The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and it's time to get up, turn this off, and get out.

THICK

I can be thick, lazy, and wallow in self pity. lazy seems to be the biggest flaw I have, but I'm sure there are folks out there who could name many, many other flaws. I never got around to explaining what the pic below is (it's North Fork Bank, corner of 2nd Ave and 10th street, that me and the BF just stood and stared at with jaws dropped down to our knees some 2 years ago when it opened with this faux lower east side themed decor - turns out to actually have been designed by set designers from Broadway's "Rent" - talk about faux lower east side!)

Anyhoo, the point I was trying to make is that back in late November I decided to take a 4-6 week break from auctioning, and it's been 12 to i-dunno-how-many weeks since then, and each Sunday I struggle to motivate myself to put some auctions up - but I've done it - one auction as of this writing! And the pic above is one of many from this amazing issue of HONCHO from 1983 that I just can't bare to part with - I'll show more (maybe - maybe not, remember I'm lazy) in the days to come so you'll get why it's hard to part with. And the model's name - gosh, on the tip of my....

sigh

After talking twice on the phone with the BF, and deciding that since it's cold and wet outside, we'd get together later. We had planned on getting up early and just spending some time outdoors, but I have being cold and wet. But then I just spent the last hour and a half on this site - Jeremiah's Vanishing New York - and think I need to take my camera (courtesy of BF at Xmas) and get outside!

Pete Gable, is that you?

A reader sent in the photo on the left, a shot from the Falcon classic Spokes, of Pete Gable. At first I was fairly sure he was wrong, until I put this other pic of "mystery man" beside Pete's - now I'm not so sure. You?

mystery man

Have been trying to figure out who this guy is for years. And god knows, I may even have one of his photographs correctly marked somewhere on this harddrive, but I dunno where that would be. Anyway, he's a Target Studios model, and he first came to my attention because the "standing" photo above is used on the box cover for the hard-to-find video "The Devil And Mr. Jones". Alas, he's no where to be seen in the film, as is too often the case with video boxes. As far as I know, he's never made a film.

sometimes I even answer my email

I hate excuses, but let's try a limp explanation. Do you ever feel like you have way too much to do, that no matter what you do, you are always getting behind? That as much as you might accomplish, even more stuff is piling up and not getting done? Well, that's me, and it's how I feel most of the time, for months and months now. And the funny thing is, there can be hours of me just sitting on the bed, fingering the remote, finding nothing on, and worrying and being anxious, stuffing food into my mouth, adding to my huge gut, having dreams and nightmares about work, and then barely getting out of the apartment in the morning, with this horrible sense of dread.

Anyhoo... just yesterday someone emailed asking if I had any pics of Clay Russell I hadn't yet posted. You know Clay, star of such films as The Boys of Venice, El Paso Wrecking Corp, Heatstroke, Snowballing, Six Card Stud, and of course Behind the Greek Door? Going on into the late 80's and well into the 90's doing various uniform and cop-themed videos such as Leather Daddy Clay, Police Stories, Soldier Bondage Boy, C.H.P. Locker Room, and the like. My personal favorite is probably the scene of Clay and Richard Locke in Joe Gage's awesome 1982 classic film, Heatstroke, where Locke gets it on with his ex-girl's new military boyfriend (Russell) - just classic!

.....crazed ramblings....

Calgon Ledermeister, Take Me Away

double ugh

godddamit! I woke up in the middle of the night, as I often do, but somehow fell back asleep with the peaceful knowledge that it was Friday night.... waking up a few hours later on Tuesday morning is a bad, bad sign for the day....

mornin'

aching bones and bulging

gut. Mornings are rough. I need more exercise in my life.

at the age of 47, he realized

.... sometimes BJORK, as good as she is, doesn't quite cut it - like here - immature - great tune, fantastic singing, just not quite the right mood

ahhhhh, Ms Faithfull - better - Ballad Of Lucy Jordan, or maybe even - Times Square

flavor saver

rerun alert

BEST VERSION EVER of My Funny Valentine.

was looking for this image, sent by a friend a few years back, but didn't realize it had been 6 years since I posted it! - who the F&*!'s been blogging that long??!