Tuesday, May 29, 2001

havent had one of THOSE in a while.......
no, I mean a hangover. funny, i slept late, woke up after 11am with my head much heavier than it has been in a long time. And those screaming kids in the playground next door? Why am i not holding my head in agony, rather than have this slight smirk on my face? the coffee this morning is no different than any other day, i didn't get "any" last night.... maybe those 2 or 3 beers are still floating around my insides somewhere, sending happy thoughts up to my brain... don't matter - it's never smart to try too hard to figure out why one wakes up on the right side of the bed.

last night, lets see, the COCK is open again, and charging 3 dollars on a Monday night, the d.j. was in an anything-by-anyone-ever-associated-with-prince mood, I discussed that the song playing was by The Family, not technically Prince (although if you look at the E.P. cover, you're unlikely to see anyone who's currently making a living making music)... and remembered that the guy with the badly dyed hair had a nice cock some years ago (well, no reason to think he still doesn't, but I didn't find out) soon, find myself across the street, where 2 bartenders, and 3 others who work for this bar, were outnumbering the customers, but I sat my ass down and had a supersize cranberry juice, read my horoscope about how i'm gonna be doing it with a Scorpio soon (of course, his horoscope said he'd be doing it with a Taurus, and the taurus would be doing it with a Libra, who'd be...... well, either this is some sort of daisy chain, or just horoscopes without an editor, i'm not really sure). oh yeah, BLOGS are supposed to have links to every 4th word, but i'm too lazy for that... and, funny coincidence: just about the time i'm about to pick up Love Undetectable to re-read the great chapter on friendship (yes, i've been worrying much much too much about the lack of a bf, and not enough about the amazing pals i have), i find that Andrew Sullivan is the enemy (again). oh well, maybe that will make the reading that much more enjoyable, knowing that I'm supposed to be disagreeing while my head is actually nodding "yes" in agreement....

this side down

florida's original CHOCOGATORs are almost all gone. "club mix" of P***y Control (you know how i hate the p-word!) is making that gyrating man below gyrate even more, and i'm still wondering why the same club that would play like 6 great prince and prince-creation songs in a row before i left would be playing maniac when i got back.. quickly recognized 2 men i'd had sex with years ago, each of them more than once, but one refused recognition, the other had dyed hair and it wasn't quite his shade of yellow....meanwhile, one of the several men in this neighborhood that i would gladly scrub his bathroom floors for, Victor, was also their, spending alot of energy ignoring me and pretending to not want me madly; no hair on his head, some sort of fuzzy goatee, or extended bushy moustache, plus these eyebrows that could put Ed Asner to shame. i can see this man in my bed, at age 80, looking just as adorable as now, as i get out of bed, scratch my flabby ass, and make him coffee just the way he likes it. but he pretends not to notice me. there's the 24 year old, with that teensy bit of fuzz just below his lower lip, perfectly centered and triangular, with a big tuff of hair in front, with deep brown eyes, eyes you'd find yourself looking at while he slept, through his dark eyelids, lightly kissing

so, napster provides me with several great prince remixes, as I go down on paul........or is this orville? follow these simple instructions, and you'll be fine: 1) place on center of turntable 2) set on high 3) pick up from other end 4) this side down

real life
well, 1 a.m. here, and looking at too many boy-pics and no contact with any real flesh, think it's time to get off my ass and have a beer in the "real world" of my local gay bars... haven't done that in months! Why the change? when i realized i found this gentleman with the white hair intriguing, I started to get a clue!

Monday, May 28, 2001

french butt
he must've been whacking off all day without cumming; cuz only a few minutes of my goatee up his ass, and there was french spunk all over my floor......

Saturday, May 26, 2001

even MORE porn

just got a package in, a bargain of 5 or 6 videos for 20 bucks. Alas, still trying to hunt down a "good" (full length version) of Kansas City Trucking, but this one ain't it (only 66 minutes in length!) - but, the good news is the theme song still GETS ME GOING, bringing me back to 20 years ago in the dark BIJOU Theatre in Chicago....
other titles I got:
Big and Thick not sure what this one is about....hehe
King Size with Rick Donovan (that's MR Donovan to you!)
Rodeo lots of hairy guys in this one!
Best of Colt pt 3 i think Al Parker is in this one somewhere!
Hot Lunch from Nova, usually loops from the 70's


cold and wet

ok, i wake up every day this week shivering - normally i'd think it was the d.t's, but when i hear the radiator in the "computer room" (whack-off room) I know it really IS cold! brrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. so, ready to slit my wrists after 5 days of cold, new york weather, go into my Napster downloaded files, and pick out a nice perky one to go with morning coffee. knowing napster, the title and "artist" name may be wrong, but my spirits are definatley lifted after listening to Dr Know's FIST FUCK - awesome!

Friday, May 25, 2001


So, doing my part for Nat'l Masturbation Month, watched The Brig and Hot Truckin' last night. While The Brig is okay, Hot Truckin' got me where I needed to go! The Brig starts off slow (meaning kinda ugly guys for the first 30-45 minutes) but soon enough, some hairy ones, like the young hairy "star" and then Mickey Squires, trying to portray "trade" turns real bottom real fast for a few extra bucks!!! (but such a nice buttt!!) But, Hot Truckin' , from 1978 with big star Gordan Grant, directed by Lancer Brooks (whom you may know as Tom De Simone, since I know you've been reading my Gay Porn DIRECTOR'S pages). anyway, I digress.... Gordan Grant suprisingly does turn me on a bit, despite his smooth muscley self, and that god-awful haircut - I guess it's just his energy. But the real treat is his truckin' partner, bearded Nick Rodgers- (who you may remember from such films as The Idol and Grease Monkeys) that first scene, in the public bathroom with that hot Rodgers on his knees, all i can say is SPLAT!!

Wednesday, May 23, 2001

masturbation month

why am I always the last to know these things? I've got a week to catch up, having made the silly mistake of "saving it up" for a few days before my ill-fated date-that-didn't-happen (see my shrill self-pity somewhere below). anyway, looking through a few of my favorite websites for links and shit, and I find out that May is
National Masturbation Month
so, I have that Keith Anthoni tape I never finished, ooh ooh, and a new (to me anyway) DEVO 18 minute version of SOMEWHERE (thanks Napster, still a few things left there; well, very few)...

so, changed my pic on the M4M site yesterday, and it was as if I was the new kid on the block, all those emails! but, alas, nothing terribly promising - egad! even a guy from way way back (I guess he didn't recognize me) who I did IT with like 2 days after my best friend had, and ever since we refer to him as "cigarette" - in case you don't know, there's the old joke about the guy who was too timid to ask for sex straight out, so one day, in the dark, he takes his schlong out, and puts it in his potential partner's hand, who responds: "No thanks, I don't smoke"

Monday, May 21, 2001

cookies and boyfriends or rainy mondays

i've had 3 really great boyfriends; very different, in many ways, all 3; but one of the qualities they all shared - they'd turn into the most adorable little boys when I'd bake cookies.

one was a dunker; very focused, had his mug of milk, and his cookies, and seemed like he didn't have a care in the world for those few minutes of sitting with the freshly-baked cookies

another couldn't get enough, always sneaking into the cookie jar (really a Russel Wright covered casserole), even while I was sleeping, but I could always hear that little "clink" of the lid hitting the base as he'd try to be really quiet

the last one, well, after our first real "overnight" he couldn't wait the standard 4-5 days to call, and called the next evening, and I just so happened to be making chocolate chip cookies. So, he lived near enough, and I said, "hey,let me stop by for a minute, meet me out front" We talked, and flirted (he was about to leave town for a few days) and just before I left, I handed him a blue-lidded tupperware with about a dozen fresh cookies. After that, I always brought him cookies in one of those blue-lidded things, often hiding them in a kitchen cabinet for him to find later; which never seized to delight him. So, its raining, it's monday, and in a feeble attempt to lift my spirits, I'm baking again, and listening to cover versions of Carpenters songs....

Sunday, May 20, 2001

Trick Time

NOT what you think. Of course, I am referring to the film Trick Time made in the early 80's by Cosco team (lovers) Joey Yale and Fred Halsted. Been meaning to get this for awhile, cuz it reputedly had interviews with the stars, although that's not how the video company, HIS, promotes it. Well, wisely, they didn't let Tim Kramer speak too long, but have just finished the Johnny Dawes interview - nothing stunning, except you realize that he was, indeed, more than a great porn star, but an interesting person, who, yes, could act!! He mentions Pleasure Beach as his best film in terms of acting, and I've been meaning to get that one for awhile (director
Arthur Bressan
) - the scene with Michael Christopher, never my favorite in the face department (to put it kindly) is real nice, focusing on his beautiful, fat cock. Slurp!

Saturday, May 19, 2001

email hell
so, it's been over 4 months since i've had a date, and Thursday should have changed that - HA! - so, I call it a night early, and get up Friday morning to work on my webpage update. 30 pieces of email!! but, alas, not a single one was from a real person - I didn't open OR delete any, deciding instead to see how much junk email i'd get in a 24 hour period.

Well, out of 103 pieces of mail, 84 were junk mail. Jennifer, HotBabe, and FRESHVIRGINTEEN tell me they've been looking for me all over the internet, and are greatly relieved to finally find me; Adultfriends@aol.com and FRIENDFINDER tell me "I know you need a friend" (I wanna know who they've been talking to!); then of course there are the AOLBILLING, and AOLWELCOME's, telling me either there's been a billing error, or I have a new screen name; several very nice people offer to get my out of debt forever; and, or course, Pauly@ricky.com and John@hugepenis.com keep writing and promising me a big dick for only $49.95 (but its unclear whether they're going to turn MY cock into a big dick, or I get THEIR cock fro the low low price of $49.95); oh - here's one from a real person - saying he saw SMALL pictures of me at Briefbids.com, and would I mind sending some larger ones.

well, and I thought I had no true friends!

Friday, May 18, 2001

working hard

working very hard on my website update. (hope someone notices!) I won't even bore y'all with my "date" from last night. Let's just say I had a wonderful Japanese meal at my favorite Japanese restaurant. Too bad my date couldn't make it. Meanwhile, I've got plenty of porn here; old porn, new porn, bad porn, porn magazines, porn videos, cockrings to play with, webcam, websites, HI-8 video clips of men audtioning....

hell, who needs a flesh-and-blood date?

website should be ready by 2 pm this afternoon

Thursday, May 17, 2001

cum and cry?

oh gosh, I've been avoiding watching this porn flick The Idol, because it seemed like it would be sappy, and I'm a sucker for that stuff. But, it was reputed to be good, good acting, blah blah blah.. But I didnt expect it to get me off, too! It's about a college track star (Kevin Redding, beautiful, hot, good actor, a shame it was his only film) who begins to realize he's gay. The scene with coach Nick Rogers is real hot - slow build-up (the old "you're tense, lie down while I massage you" routine) - but it's well-acted, and erotic; well, I coulda done a lot better in gym if I had a coach like him.

But, it's sorta sad, cuz it's shown through the eyes of this other college kid who obviously has a crush on him, and, well, let's just say its a "bittersweet" story.

Wednesday, May 16, 2001

the back row

wow, Geroge Payne's first film, and one of Casey Donovan's earliest, The Back Row is amazing!!! I guess if you've read many of my "blogs" you know I love the old films, and you know I love the ones with the porno theatre settings - this is practically all PORNO THEATRE oooh, watching it now, they're doing hot wax in the john of the porno theatre!!

anyway, the "story" is supposed to be hokey - poor, young, inexperienced George Payne follows Casey Donovon into some Times Square theatre, and they both sit in the back row, but far from each other.....The theme song is MIDNIGHT COWBOY - no shit!!! - and there's all sorts of organ-blasting trippy early 70's jazzy music in it, too.... but Casey keeps connecting, and George is too naive and intimidated to do anything; finally, they seem to connect jerking off at the urinals when the construction guy comes in, and George is too spooked to stay (yup, hard hat and all, this film spared NO COSTS in making it realistic!!) runs away, as Casey starts to do it with the construction guy, then another guy comes in --- WOW!!! now they're doing some sort of strap-on didlofuck on the floor, as George "listens" from outside the bathroom door....wow Casey just shot all over the guy's face!

awwww, Casey leaves the bathroom, catches George outside, who runs off.... but wait, Casey caught up, they're strolling around NY together, some hokey song is playing now....awwww, they're making out in a phone booth, how sweet..... oh, I won't tell you the ambiguous ending, its cool (well, to me, anyway)

you're life is like a movie, and you're sitting in the back row,
la la la la la la la....

Tuesday, May 15, 2001

AOL hell

ok, so, i was, um FUCKIN' HORNY the other night!!! it was a weird night, and was starting to get me down (usually happens late on sundays, after the Simpsons, its all downhill, right?) but I was getting all sorts of weird AOL and M4M messages...one guy has seen me around the neighborhood, blah blah blah, but I didnt for the life of me recognize his pic, and his profile made it sound like I wouldn't have enough chems or orifices for his needs anyway. another guy wrote that he had just fucked two guys, and needed some head. gee, I felt SOOOOOO honored to be designated as the one to get his special load, ya know??!!

then there was the really hot guy from the dogrun/phone line that wanted to exchange pics, then mysteriously got disconnected from AOL as soon as he downloaded my pic..... YUP, the old ego was doing really really well by about that time. so, I still have plenty of unwatched porn here, and was about to turn the P.C. off and become my own best friend (again) when some guy popped up, familiar name, pleasant profile, but I feared he was a friend of a friend.....but what the heck, can't hurt to chat, right?

so, I wasn't feeling particularly clever at that point, and our conversation quickly slowed to a few "cool"'s, and "yup, me too"'s so i sent a tame pic, figuring I could put the same whammy on HIS computer as I had apparently to the previous gentleman - but, nope, didn't work! he sent his pic, wasn't the friend of a friend I was worried about, and he looked really nice. so, some more chat, I joked that I had run out of witty remarks, but I could send a cock shot, so he perked up, said "please do" and he liked it, sent his, his looked nice...and we started making plans..... he's close by, I can bike over there, blah blah blah.
then, a message: gee, I have to be up early, can't stay up late so i say, no prob, quick is cool, if we like each other, we can try again.... BAMM! I get the "member not online" message damn! I knew doing the moutwash thing before actually getting his address was risky, and there ya go! so, all that was left for me to do was pick which one of the 50-70 vidoes I own would work for me ... then he popped back up, apologizing for his bad connection, so.... I biked my lil butt over there, and hell, he looked much better in person, I stayed much longer than we had planned, he even offered the "overnite" thing, but he had to be up at 6:30, and I was sorta wired from a day of coffee-drinking, but we lingered over a few more kisses, and both agreed we wanted to see each other again.... cool, eh?

next day

I knew he was at work, and we hadn't exchanged phone numbers, but I wanted to hear from him, but didnt want to email him too soon..... finally, around 9:30 or 10, I log onto that screenname, compose a simple: "hey, had a nice time, handsome" note, sent it off, and I hear my computer say: "the mail has arrived, master" and there, in my mailbox, is a message from him, apparently we both got online simultaneously, and his note, similar to mine, but a bit longer, expressed that HE had a nice time, and wants to do "it" again... we chatted live after that, and he kinda apologized for not being available right then, but had to take the dog out (oooh, dogboy! did I mention i've wanted a dog boy for about 2 years now???) and also promised to stop by friends to get a bite to eat.... and he said he has more freetime later in the week, so..... I know I've jinxed the whole thing by writing this, but, I don't have a job with the requisiste sassy best-friend "how was YOUR weekend" co-worker thing, so.... cross your fingers for me, he's got a cute butt, cuter face!!

PORN oh yeah, who cares about BJ's sexcapades when we've got PORN to talk about. quick review of this weekend's features:

  • Catching Up - still havent finished this one, cuz the story is cool, with Keith falling for Jayson, but Jayson being weary of getting serious with a guy who's in the process of breaking up with his first boyfriend
  • FADE IN finally watched this one, knowing I had very fond memories of Jon King in that spider web, and worried that 15 years later, it may well not seem so sexy. Well, not as hot as I had remembered, of course, but, the interesting thing is, the MUSIC - yup, again, cool music, this time, I swear to god it's the soundtrack from VERTIGO!!!! playing while Jon gets the great blowjob from cute lil Gino Del Mar - I only wished Gino buried his face in Jon's cute lil butt for more than 12 seconds, but I guess thats what the REWIND button is for, eh?
  • Passing Strangers gosh, this is a film from 1975, I think, black and white, soooo incredible, I highly recommend it - BUT not for the sex. the guys don't really turn me on, but I dug the story a lot, and the filmmaking is real real cool - lingering shots of Polk St in San Francisco, footage of some gay pride event, hairy hippie guys smiling for the camera, hugging, kissing, its just great!!

ok, coffee needs warming up, got like 4 or 5 items to ship out, and need to clean up this pigpen if I ever want to have a guest in my apt again!

Saturday, May 12, 2001

more porn, please

2 videos came in the mail yesterday; Catching Up from around 1975 i think, and The Boys of Venice from 1981 (william Higgins). Well, I was unable to get halfway thru Catching Up , apparently those scenes in porno theatres always get the better of me!!!

Meanwhile, figuring The Boys of Venice would be safe, being that it's all about California "blonds" I popped that one in a little while ago, thinking it'll be fun, but not sexy. Well, Eric Ryan has got such a beautiful cock!! some of the scenes at Venice Beach, along the boardwalk are great, with rollerSKATING guys twirling for the camera, and little old ladies waving, it's great. The solo scene with HUMONGOUS Scott Taylor - YE-OWW! But then I remembered this is the film with the famous "disco-floor fantasy scene" - where Kip Noll and some tall brunette are dancing in a crowd, and imagine hot sex together, right there. Well, I haven't seen this film in 15, if not more, years, and as soon as the disco music started, with this weird "ha ha ha" as part of the dance track, I was having severe ACID FLASHBACKS - no shit!! - I mean, it all came back to me, the dark movie theatre, the vague heavy breathing somewhere behind me (or was that below me...), the aroma of sweat and poppers mixed together; gosh, too much, ya know??!

so, now I must find that song! there's one other song, another disco track, "Whiter Shade of Pale", turns out to be some giorgio moroder thing - Munich Machine - but damn, only found it ONCE on Napster, and the guy didn't wasn't configured properly. so, anyone can help, lemme know!

Friday, May 11, 2001

Keith Antoni

well, CATCHING UP, a film from Director Tom DeSimone (producer Jack Deveau, Hand-In-Hand production... 70's) - it's Antoni's first film. Just came in the mail, I've watched all of 3 minutes of it and I'm in love. I love the movies with plots, as you may know if you've read anything else on these pages, and this one opens up with Keith and his beau at dinner, who's just broken it off with poor, sullen Keith. Keith asks for the check, Jayson MacBride comes to the table, Keith asks when do they close; Jayson says: "about 2 hours, why?"

Keith "Well, my boyfriend just broke up with me, and I'll be horny in about 2 hours. I'll see you here in 2 hours" tosses his napkin down, and leaves!

gosh, wouldn't you love to do that!?

chem friendly

ok, so I shouldn't be so cynical; it's like i'm gonna find an actual boyfriend buried somewhere inside this computer, but....
an occassional distraction from the tedium of my directionless, unemployed, meaningless life would be nice. BUT, they're all barebackingMUSCLESTUDchemfriendlyGROUPSAPLUSshavedcrotch men seeking their IDENTICAL TWIN !!!

thank god i like my bod enuf to get into whacking off whenever necessary
meanwhile, some months ago, one of these guys, who didn't have ANY of the above in his description comes over, right before my 40th birthday, and he was adorable!! bearded, slim, loved hairy guys (he wasn't) and after a few hours I kinda figured he was ON something, but, i didnt care, it was fun. He even wanted another "date", which surprised me, but I agreed, not holding my breath. 2 days later, he calls, has to see me, and we did. to make a long story short, our next SEX date happened late on a Saturday night, exactly one week after our first meeting. He came over, some light kissing, then he sat on the other side of the room, and began rolling a joint. Cool. I was sorta comfortable enuf with him at this point that I could do that. Then, he gets up, says its HHHHOT in here, and peels off his shirt, to remind me what an amazing, sculptured bod he has.... then his pants...slowly pulled down, to reveal tight, clingy, long underwear.....at this point I am totally panting.... then, he takes them off, to reveal a SPEEDO. walks back over across the room, and sits down as far away from me as he can be in the same room, and continues rolling the joint. Meanwhile, I wanna go sniff the long underwear, but hold myself back....soon enough, he comes over, sits next to me, lights up, and postions the Speedos right in my face.....

within a few minutes, he ordered me naked. gosh, i'm not very good naked, but I comply, crossing my fingers in my head, hoping I can still do "it". He whispers in my ear what he wants me to do next, and i know i can't. he is still conscientous enough to see this in my face, goes over to his bag, takes something out, breaks it in half, puts it in my mouth. Now, the pressure is really on, and I know it won't happen. CHEMS i'm just way too uptight for them. I keep thinking about what they are supposed to do, and my brain fights every inch of the way. Of course, this wasn't to get my high, this was to get me hard, and yet, I just never did.... goddamn it, how the hell is this drug supposed to work inside of any half-way intelligent guy if all you can think about is BOB DOLE

SHIT! I am not exaggerating! The most beautiful man who's been in my home in about 2 years is standing there, waiting, and I can't get BOB DOLE out of my head.....well, soon enough, he makes some feeble excuse as he's dressing....and about 6 HOURS later, I'm rock hard, can't sleep, depressed,

Wednesday, May 09, 2001

next day

yup, i took a chance, pursued this man who listed as looking for hairy on the off-chance that he, while his pic showed little body hair, would NOT trim or shave his body hair. well, every pubic hair was there, in place, as long as nature intended them to be. A bit sweaty, I could've kept my face in there for hours....

a minute or two after he got here, I said, "hey nice shirt, can I have it" he laughed, but added "sure". It was really fun, he's much younger (27), and after, as he dressed, he said "here" and handed me the shirt, and I offered him one of mine - we looked, but mine were too small. we talked, he asked me to call him so he could "save" my number in his cell - who knows - anyway, here's the
- may not seem like much, but it smelled great, and I had a good night's sleep in it...

Tuesday, May 08, 2001

hairy balls

it's been a really good day, really good. a pal got a book I sent her: eighty-sixed, which she's eating it up. I made several strangers smile today by just being my usual, silly self, and some local boy, on the m4m site, posted that he was looking for hairy guys I was bolder than usual, and to make a long story short, he just left, i'm covered in cum, and he said "sure" when I asked for his t-shirt!

I think there's still time to get a $3.00 marguerita at Bennies. the cum stays on, so does the shirt!

Monday, May 07, 2001


been wearing the same pair for 2 or 3 days now. guess because they remind me of an ex..... Banana Republic, cotton, greenish/yellow plaid - he'd wear a pair like these and an A-shirt, showing off his hairy shoulders, his beautiful cock bouncing around somewhere inside those boxers...

listening to Marianne Faithfull, as well. might seem depressing, but it's more a pensiveness; of course, I type that, and then Truth Bitter Truth comes on, and well, ahem....

Saturday, May 05, 2001

meet new people, or watch new porn?
2 videos arrived: Tom DeSimone'sThe Dirty Picture Show (hunting in some porno shops yesterday, I was happy to see some of his films are still commercially available)and Joseph Yale's Blown Away (cinematography by Fred Halsted) - ok, so who else gets excited about getting a heavier cassette, clearly manufactured in the mid 80's, with the COSCO logo??

meanwhile, there's a party tonight, a pal's birthday, taking place at his new bf's place (I introduced them!) - and supposedly some nice, SINGLE guys! - but, in truth, i'm going for the food - i love food parties!!

right now, the bar scene from JOBSITE is playing in the background (i'm sifting thru MAGNUM GRIFFIN Vol 12 to find a scene from Kansas City Trucking that i know is in there, to compare it to the chopped up new version of Kansas City to see if there is a difference.....

so, all this porn, who needs to meet new people, anyway?

working hard

well, i know i should be working on the update for the webpages, and/or the video editing....but SPRING is here, spending most of my time out-of-doors. got one more song on the A NIGHT AT HALSTED soundtrack list...so all but 1 song identified - great punk/new wave soundtrack, even though the porn video itself doesn't turn me on (sorry, Fred!)

and a few FALCON videos to list on eBay, cock ring or two....ugh, i iz hungry ...guess i'll settle for food.

Friday, May 04, 2001

40-year old knees

as i got up, all spunk covered, and grinning, my knees ached.

yeah, bed sex, wouldn't that be a nice change? bedsex, where you fall asleep after cumming, rather than hop up to wipe up, make excuses about something "more important" that you ought to be doing, or getting back to (as if anything could be more important than lingering in bed with someone, falling asleep, entwined, sticky, dreaming those dreams you dare not articulate...)

bedsex, waking up with a hard-on, and its not just cuz you haven't cum in a few days, its cuz that beautiful man got up a few minutes earlier, and is gently licking your hairy balls, inhaling, smiling up at you as he realizes you're awake, too.

can't honestly remember when that happened last.... was talking to a pal at dinner, and i'm tracing back the past few months, into 2000, still can't remember - when, when was that last morning wake-up with someone I really dug, and wanted to stay, and talk, and have coffee, and do "it" again, and laugh during it, not out of any anxiety, but out of giddiness, from knowing you're connecting, and letting go, and dreaming those dreams you might just articulate......

Wednesday, May 02, 2001


days like this remind you how close you are to the ocean.....clouds moving quickly across the sky, that scent in the air, wet, not really humid but like its deciding whether to rain, or turn into a sunny day.....

my Kansan pal tortured me last night, awakening me from a good nap, cuz he's obsessing on this

music list....so, with the aid of his guesses, and some researching on Google and Napster, I managed to find one of the 3 missing songs,,,,,,now we are down to 2 missing songs...

some guy responded to my SLURP! message on the m4m site...naw, a bobybuilder wanting to meet up with me??? hehe...but that pic of him spread out on his kitchen table, HOT DAMN! ..... cross yer fingers for me, i am H-O-R-N-Y!!!!!