By 8:30pm I was back home, given up. I've had lousy gay pride days before, and I'm sure there will be more. But I remember the good ones, and I just have to remind myself, and accept, that there will be both in the future. ugh. I mean, yeah!
Director: Jack Deveau (1979)
Starring: Larry Paige, John Carlo, Garry Hunt, Chris Michaels, Hugh Allen, Matt Harper (aka Will Seagers), David Littler, and Pepe Brazil; plus George, Frank, Johnny, and Juanita.
Can't believe it's been 5 years since I last posted this great clip!
Click one of the pics to view the movie trailer (you know that if you view the clip in the browser, you can "right click" and view it larger size, and FULL SCREEN, right?), or here if you want to download and save for later.
I thought I had something to say, but i got lost somewhere picking out the pics and deciphering my feelings on this wednesday morning. life and its events just seem to be out of control. and not in any huge totally scarey way, just things seem to keep coming up to interrupt whatever it is I've planned for the day, or even the next few hours. I should be on my way to work - but I screwed up a doctor's appointment which I thought was tomorrow, and it's today. a long overdue check-up, so why does it bother me? cuz i wasn't mentally prepared for it, and was getting anxious and agitated for other reasons, and now I have to get anxious and agitated about my health (and my non-mental health is just fine). Sunday, which is where the cropped pic of me is from, was a good day. and yet it wasn't. there were moments when it was quite fun, like when a buddy agreed to pose in that pic above (not sure he wants his face plastered on the internet, so he's cropped out for only that reason), but there were long stretches of isolation and loneliness while wandering around that crowd on West 28th street. a lot of calming myself with "relax, stay put, dont run away, lonliness and anxiety might just pass and you'd rather be near friends or looking at handsome faces than in your little tiny room staring at a computer screen, right?" sigh. I hate when i make a good argument, and still don't buy it.
the photo on the right, I had hesitated adding to my eBay listing, as he's showing some pubes; the pic on the left, well, that's my outfit for Folsom Street East today!
One of the "new things" I try to do as a singleguy is get out of the house early at least one weekend day and go for a walk in the neighborhood with my camera. Usually it's just a walk through Tompkins Square Park taking pictures of flowers. Yesterday, after taking a whole bunch, I wandered down Avenue A towards Key Food, and that little tweeter grabbed my attention, singing away as if life didn't suck, and wasn't full of disappointment, and that there were endless possibilities for the future, and.... while I didn't start whistling along, I did stop to watch and listen to what he had to say.
i did it. i dont like it, and the reviews havent been so good, either. "dont worry, it'll grow back" before I even offer that i dont care for it.... i've been sorta trying to avoid the personal stuff here; just doesnt feel right to blab about it - most likely cuz I keep thinking that denial might actually make it not true. Anyhoo - you know that old problem we gays have with the anniversary date - is it the day we met, the day we first slept together, the first date? with no clarity on the topic, I have to be sad on June 17th, June 24th, and June 26th. not to mention it was his birthday the other day; so four official sad days in June. Lucky coincidence, i had my shrink that day; but damnit - shrinkee wanted to talk about me, not the ex! whats with that? like i'm supposed to focus on healing myself and not focus on the stuff i cant control; i wanna wallow in selfpity, isnt that what i'm making myself broke for? (is this where i link to the ebayauctions, and y'all can think - oh shit, he cant possibly pay for therapy with that crap?)
well, as my dad used to say, at least I have my sense of humor..... (and this dang stoopid mustache)
hours after posting the previous, er, post, I'm online looking something up on GOOGLE about After Dark magazine and photographer Ken Duncan, and realize I've been spelling his name wrong! It's KENN DUNCAN ferchrissakes! So I dunnowhothatotherguy I linked to is, but here's some info on Kenn Duncan, who, by the way, passed way in the mid 80's; sigh. The good news is now that I've done some actual research (doncha hate those wiklopedia links everyone uses - so tiresome... I digress), I see that there's gonna be an exhibition of Kenn Duncan's work this summer!
One of the many frustrating things about selling crap on eBay is sometimes, while preparing scans, photos, item descriptions, you realize an item isn't in such good shape. The skimpy blue speedo that has stains on it; the video with tracking issues, the magazine with missing pages. AFTER DARK, June 1974 - Peggy Lee cover, 4-page article on Harvey Korman, Paul Newman in cowboy outfit, the usual lovely Ken Duncan photos Kenn Duncan photos, and great vintage ads.... but alas, goddddddammmit - 4 missing pages! oh well, at least y'all get the benefit of this great photo, eh?
