bj's gay porno-crazed ramblings

Sunday, June 15, 2008
beard back

i did it. i dont like it, and the reviews havent been so good, either. "dont worry, it'll grow back" before I even offer that i dont care for it.... i've been sorta trying to avoid the personal stuff here; just doesnt feel right to blab about it - most likely cuz I keep thinking that denial might actually make it not true. Anyhoo - you know that old problem we gays have with the anniversary date - is it the day we met, the day we first slept together, the first date? with no clarity on the topic, I have to be sad on June 17th, June 24th, and June 26th. not to mention it was his birthday the other day; so four official sad days in June. Lucky coincidence, i had my shrink that day; but damnit - shrinkee wanted to talk about me, not the ex! whats with that? like i'm supposed to focus on healing myself and not focus on the stuff i cant control; i wanna wallow in selfpity, isnt that what i'm making myself broke for? (is this where i link to the ebayauctions, and y'all can think - oh shit, he cant possibly pay for therapy with that crap?)

well, as my dad used to say, at least I have my sense of humor..... (and this dang stoopid mustache)