bj's gay porno-crazed ramblings

Monday, November 23, 2009
Sleep a few more nights together
if you're not back in love by Monday

this tune let's me indulge myself in that fantasy that if only i tried a bit harder, did something a bit different, or as the song suggests, take a romantic weekend to rekindle the relationship.... but, of course, the trouble wasn't that i'd fallen out of love, and i don't remember him saying anything about him falling out of love.... anger, fighting, disappointments, poor communication, incompatibility, i don't actually remember him giving me a reason - but love, or the lack of it, didn't seem to be part of what was being yelled at me that night... but i guess that's why songs like this can be so appealing, how it simplifies it to a point that you can hum along, get teary-eyed and wistful, "oh gee, if only we...." especially when you go through one of those droughts, when no one even seems to look in your direction, and you can't remember the last time you were kissed (i do remember the last time i kissed a boy - it was in provincetown, but he didn't really kiss back.... when was that, 2 months ago?? - but... 'nother story) and it seems so hard to even get to where you can consider maybe it will happen again, and you wonder why, why was it so hard to stay together and make that effort... oh you know that cliche - "i'd rather be in no relationship than the wrong relationship" - well yeah, or DUH, as the kids say. i think if i had to make the difference between us as horribly simplistic as possible it was this: relationships are hard - but he didn't accept that, and didn't try hard enough; i accepted it, and didn't try hard enough.