sellsellsell

back off sister, I saw him first!

running late (again)

discuss

.....yeah yeah, eBay

Your phone's off the hook (but you're not)

I'm a terrible, terrible person, I know. Just ask any of the folks who've written a nice email, politely asking if I can figure out who is in a picture, where they can get a certain old video, etc. Years ago, sans boyfriend or job, I would eagerly try to figure out the answer to these help-me-find-my-porno questions. And even if I couldn't figure it out, I'd take a stab, and at least give them an idea where they might begin to look. But, alas, I'm older, fatter (notice you haven't seen any recent self-naughtypics? - heehee!), lazier, and just exhausted from work. So it's gotten to the point that I often never get around to even responding with a quick "I dunno", let alone an exhaustive search with the right answer. But a few weeks back, I got an email when I just happened to be online, bored, and it was about a Fred Halsted movie (A Night At Halsted's), and the guy saw my page on the soundtrack and wanted to know where to get it. It's an amazing soundtrack for a porno film, with various punk and new wave - Devo, The Jam, Patti Smith (and some crap that was labeled new wave at the time but kinds sucks) tunes in the film. I quickly responded that it was never commercially available, but after me and two friends figured out all the songs, one of my buddies actually put together a CD. Trouble is, my CD drive hasn't worked in about a year, and I had no way of uploading it. That was the email. But then I went on to Soulseek, and within 2 hours, got all 26 tunes in mp3 format! To make a long story a tad shorter, I reconstructed my page on the soundtrack, and added all the songs, including a zipfile containing all of them. Figuring my bandwidth hasn't been a problem in sooooo long, it might not hurt to do this - so here's the revised page - A NIGHT AT HALSTED'S SOUNDTRACK - let me know what you think. (And by the way, the poor guy who wrote me? Since my email sounded like I might not ever get around to uploading the songs, he bought most on iTunes, plus a few odd CD's to flesh it out, before I got back to him with the good news - ooops!)

you only call when you need money

After months and months of staying away, I'm back on eBay with a handful of auctions up. Some amateur Bobby Garcia, some pre-condom, etc. Can look at titles here, at my eBay page. (most of you know you have to be a registered eBay member, in the States, to see the naughty stuff, right?)

If you do not take the vow
You can eat the sacred cow

bow down mister

word of the day

Today I introduce a new feature: Word of the Day. Longtime readers know that the chances of me ever doing word of the day again are pretty slim. Lazy, forgetful, inconsistent, or doing this page for too many years, whatever it is, just don't hold your breath. Meanwhile, this new word tickled me - leatherpause - and you should check out the blogger who coined it.

b-r-u-n-o

ahhhh, why there are no lesbian folk songs extolling the many fine qualities of this man, i'll never know. but he does seem to be a crowd pleaser for those who visit this site, and who am but a provider of crowd-pleasing pornographic images..... most of his work was for Colt and Target Studios, but these images I believe come from Brentwood, for a photo spread and short film featuring this hairy god and a lucky man named Shane who gets schtooped on this very same pick-up truck.

taste the pride

don't forget tonite's double headed disco at Nowhere Bar. And here's two non-disco favorites from a man known for his disco -

You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real) Epilogue

You Are My Friend

Gertrude Stein Was Never Called An Asshole

I know that each year at Gay Pride I post a bunch of disco tunes - Sylvester, Divine, Pet Shop Boys, etc..... but this year, considering how much y'all enjoyed the Bjork-a-thon, I figured some lesbian folk music would be more appreciated!

YEAH!

gertrude stein
M-A-R-T-I-N-A
hot topic
listen up (remix)
fashion rules

yeah, yeah, I know - only the first two are lesbian folks songs; but what do I know, anyway? Not likely to post again before New York's Gay Pride March on Sunday - it's actually a WORK DAY for me this year - so look for me! (I'll be wearing the short shorts, clutching some rainbow glowsticks, dancing on a float to a loud and distorted remix of "I Will Survive")

god, i'm good

Today's emailed porno question:

theres a gay porno called think big, which stars rick and rodd donovan and after the credits roll there is a trailer for another film, which i cant remember. i would really like to know the name of the other movie. if it helps i do remember the trailer, and the opening credits of the film im trying to locate, its got a guy, sandy blondish hair, nude, dancing to a sky background very sexily as a song called When Love Is The Missing Word plays over it.

Hmmmm, it's not Think Big but the trailer shown after the movie plays...... Manimal! But not Nick Fabrini, but some blond.... after searching my hard drive first for Think Big, then for Manimal, we get..... (drum roll)... Steve Ross does an erotic dance naked during the titles.

tuesday

less and less to say, and more tired every day. there are days i really like the job, but most mornings it's a real struggle. just.......... exhausted. I stare at this blogger template, and can't even get the energy to pick a stoopid pic and upload it.

wonder what this guy did for a living, with that satisfied look on his face. or maybe he just sniffed his own balls, and that made him smile.

sigh

gotta run

wednesday

tuesday

monday

"Call me Shane," he said. He never told us more.

Another one of those porn stars on my "to do" list - er, I mean, doing a filmography, like I did for Bob's lover, Roy Garrett.

dear supernice neighbor

This should make my ex-readers laugh, (same thing happened with my neighbor after Bjork's previous release!) - but oh, right........
actually, just yesterday morning, when I was preparing a porno clip, I got an email - "I'm so glad you've come to your senses." grrrrrr! Actually, it was a nice email, to be fair, there was a compliment or two in there as well; so that's why I posted the HOMOGENIC t-shirt pic yesterday. And I have two more bjorkt-shirts, so above is another in the collection. Meanwhile, for the folks who like the occasional bjorkmusicfile, here ya go. I still can't decide if I like the mash-up, but since that LFO guy is playing on Bjork's current tour, and uses bits from Freak during Hyperballad, I figured it might be fun for the 3 people still downloading files from me.

Hyperballad - Freak (mash-up)

Hyperballad - LIVE! United Palace

Paul this is Kyle; Kyle, this is Paul

eat yer vegetables

gosh, he's so limber!

damn colonists!

i'm super, thanks for asking

busy busy busy (not interesting busy, just work and out-in-the-spring-air busy), and late for work. more later(ish)

neither here nor there

sticks and stones (and car parts, bottles and cutlery.....)

garsh, 3 more emails from "former" "readers" who don't care for the new all-Bjork, all-the time theme here at BJorkLAND! Well, I'm sorry, but ya see, we is seeing her again tomorrow night at THE APOLLO - this time my buddy SCOTT (who has all sorts of porno on his site) is coming with me. And the friggin CD (VOLTA!) comes out tomorrow, too! WOO-HOO! 6 years of archives with debauchery, porno pics, various not-so-hidden porno clips amongst it all, and tales my BF would really rather weren't in the public domain, and 2 weeks of being a silly teenager about ..... awwww, what am I doing??!

and all that ad revenue I'm loosing!

AAARRGGHH!

anyone who has a blog knows, it's all about whacking your own little cock, and making your own little pubes sticky with cum; and this month, I get HARD (very HARD) dancing around the apartment with the latest from probably the only pure pleasure of my adult life - Ms. Bjork. Sorry ya can't find any porno elsewhere on the interweb......... but I'm only into this to ENJOY.

So long

sigh.
"I can appreciate that you like Bjork ... I do too, but that's not why I go to your site. So long"

Now, I shouldn't get all defensive about one person not liking the new ALL BJORK!, ALL THE TIME! theme here at BJ(ork)LAND - but maybe I should get back to the porno-crazed ramblings.....

(NOT!) ---- a coupla selections from Wednesday's show -

• LIVE! - Venus As A Boy
• LIVE! - Anchor Song
• LIVE! - Dull Flame Of Desire

I gotta tell you - I was fairly ambivalent about this guy, Antony Hegarty (of Antony And The Johnsons) doing a duet with Bjork (2, in fact, on this new album); and the horrible quality UTube recording of DULL FLAME performed in Reykjavik a few weeks back made me fairly nervous. And even when she introduced him adorably at the show Wednesday night, with a very enthusiastic reception from the crowd, it started off awkward and a bit "off". She was fine, able to compete with the rather overpowering back-up. But then, about 2 or 3 minutes in, he hit his stride, and WOW! What a match! What a beautiful song, and beautiful pairing - really nice. Can't wait for the album to arrive - OLI emailed me that it shipped (from England) Thursday morning.

And speaking of LIVE recordings.... I emailed 6 friends of mine last week with a secret link to a zipped folder of the complete show she did at Coachella - and not one responded - no "thank you", no "link doesn't work", no "stop sending me these files, you know I don't like Bjork" - NADA! grrrrrrr! Needless to say they ain't getting the Radio City mp3's!

.......great night...... ears still a bit sore........ and the BF was singing "DECLARE INDEPENDENCE - Don't Let Them Do THAT To You!" while we biked home.

Raise Your Flag!

Guaranteed to annoy neighbors, boyfriends, and quite possibly yourself - LIVE! - Declare Independence - off to work, then Radio City - woo-hoo!

oh yeah - and for those of you not lucky enough to be seeing her, you can listen to this Saturday's New York City show live - info here at Bjork.com, courtesy of New York's Public Radio.

14 minutes, 55 seconds to go....

Last Sunday morning, we were accosted in the park by AOL NEWS. The BF refused to talk to them, but I recognized the "newsman" and decided to go for it. A magazine shoved into my face as the camera begins to roll - the answer to the first question is somewhere buried in this clip. But goshdarnit! I was only just beginning, but all i got on this internet news thingee was one lousy word - sheesh! The full "transcript" is below - was I too big a hoMO to get more than one lousy word in?
him: (shoving New York Magazine into my face) Barack Obama's Mole: Keep, Remove or Hide?
me: keep
him: why keep?
me: It's hot!
him: It's hot? Well, what if he had a scar?
me: Hmmmmm (thinking) - yeah, that would be cool.
him: So if he had a scar you would support him more?
me: I only get one vote, so I couldn't support him more.
him: But you're reconsidering him keeping the mole, and think he should remove it?
me: Only if he gets the scar (looking at the magazine again)
him: So a scar would be better?
me: Well, yeah; it's hot! Can I keep this? (grabbing the magazine)
him: Uh, no; we're on a tight budget - I need it for my interviews. (tries to grab magazine back)

did she say Rambling!?

let the remixes begin!

We are the earth intruders
We are the sharpshooters,
Flock of parachuters
Necessary voodoo

There is turmoil out there
Carnage! Rambling!
What is to do but dig
Dig bones out of earth.........

what's wrong with this picture?

(besides not showing hot, hairy, thick naked men...)

I know, I know, I know...

no more porno crazed ramblings, this page is now exclusively

BJorkLAND

Click the pic to view the SNL live performance of Earth Intruders- it's a HUGE file, 87mb's, but well worth the wait to download - so much f*ckin' better than those U-tube clips!! (you know that if you view the clip in the browser, you can "right click" and view it FULL SCREEN, right?), or here if you want to download and save for later.

p.s. - I happen to think Media Player Classic is one of the better applications to use for watching videos, and listening to music - unlike winamp which constantly pops up with useless updates and nonsense new features, it's just a basic, hassle free music player.

Wanderlust!
relentlessly craving
Wanderlust!

was she amazing,
or was she ABSOf*ckinLUTELY amazing on SNL tonight?

F*CK!

i could bring my little ghettoblaster

Non Toilet Mix

i see who you are

yup, i heard another track from Bjork's upcoming album, VOLTA; this one is called I See Who You Are, and it's completely different from Earth Intruders. It's just wonderful!

and don't forget, she's appearing on Saturday Night Live this weekend, the 21st - WOO-HOO!

deja vu?

these guys look familiar somehow. I mean, this guy looks familiar, have I posted him before. So sleepy, just can't see how I am going to get to work today.......

I Want A blog Dog

Yeah yeah yeah, so he's a hot dj and now he's sharing some fave mixes on his new blog be my dog (indeed - you in the doghouse, that's for sure) - where dog is inexplicably spelled b-l-o-g (maybe bemygod.blogspot.com - god/dog, ya know... but I digress) - but the m'fer disses missBjork! And just as I'm working up a little frenzy over here with her great new song, and anticipating 2 great live shows in a couple of weeks, and her upcoming album. Go over there and give him a piece of my mind (por favor).

mineshaft calendar

nope, just the image - I have no idea what's inside the Mineshaft's 1983 Calendar.

Necessary voodoo

We are the 3arth intruders
Muddy with twigs and branches
Marching voodoo!

Hmmmmmm, VLIPS from bjorkvolta.com??

la guerre du fer

I do eventually usually sorta answer emails, but lately it's even worse than usual. I do remember someone asking about this man a few months back (or was it spring of '05?). BIG MAX, as COLT would call him (AKA Mike Spanner - Target film called Dunes, and Sam Pasco); I remember him best from those BULLDOG BATH ads in magazines from the early to mid 80's. I need to dig up one of those. Apparently he was also a bodybuilder - duh - AAU Mr. America or something like that. A film under his belt (mmmmmmm, under his belt.....) - Umberto Lenzi's Guerra del ferro (1983)... and oh my - even on webcam? And I know there's more, but i gotta get to work!

volta

no, sorry, i don't have any leaked songs or even snippets, but I am very very happy that I am seeing her twice in May - albeit in kinda crappy seats - at both Radio City (May 1), and The Apollo (May 8) - but, alas, not at United Palace Theatre (May 5).

8 am?

2nd cup of coffee, about to shave and shower; unnatural, man....