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friends?

BayRidgeGUY [7:53 PM]: hi how r u
BJland [7:53 PM]: hey man, doing alright, and you?
BayRidgeGUY [7:53 PM]: ok,i'm 26; would you like to trade a face picture?
BJland [7:54 PM]: sure
BayRidgeGUY [7:54 PM]: sent
BayRidgeGUY [7:55 PM]: nice, u like?
BJland [7:55 PM]: yup
BayRidgeGUY [7:56 PM]: trade x ?
BJland [7:56 PM]: sure
BayRidgeGUY [7:57 PM]: sent
BayRidgeGUY [7:58 PM]: very nice, i'm 8", u?
BJland [7:59 PM]: about 7-1/2
BayRidgeGUY [8:00 PM]: very nice, i love your hairy bush! trade more x ?
BJland [8:01 PM]: sure, i think i have another
BayRidgeGUY [8:02 PM]: sent!
BayRidgeGUY [8:03 PM]: oooh i wanted to see your hairy bush; it turns me on!!
BayRidgeGUY [8:03 PM]: what are u looking 4?
BJland[8:04 PM]: short term or long?
BJland [8:04 PM]: (just teasing you)
BayRidgeGUY [8:04 PM]: u prefer dating or sex?
BJland [8:05 PM]: preference is for both
BJland [8:06 PM]: but ya cant always wait for someone whos "dateable"
BayRidgeGUY [8:06 PM]: i prefer both as well ;) u hiv poz or neg?
BJland [8:07 PM]: been awhile since i checked -
BJland [8:07 PM]: for hook-ups, i ALWAYS act as if my partner is poz
BayRidgeGUY [8:07 PM]: how long?

BayRidgeGUY [8:08 PM]: u there?
BJland [8:08 PM]: yup
BayRidgeGUY [8:09 PM]: how long since last hiv test?
BJland [8:09 PM]: i'm a LOT older than you , so I dont take personal discussions like this lightly
BJland [8:09 PM]: for AOL hook-ups, everyone should act as if they're partner is POZ, and then do only what yer comfortable with
BJland [8:10 PM]: me telling you a test was taken 2 months, 2 years ago doesnt really give you a guaranteee that you should, or shouldnt act sanely
BayRidgeGUY [8:10 PM]: i think i know what you're "indirectly" saying.
BJland [8:10 PM]: i think i am being very direct,
BJland [8:11 PM]: a POZ result is forever, a neg test is only as good as months before the test was taken
BayRidgeGUY [8:11 PM]: i dont know why u wont answer a question...
BJland [8:11 PM]: and therefore, unreliable
BayRidgeGUY [8:12 PM]: your answer would put me at ease.
BJland [8:13 PM]: about what?
BayRidgeGUY [8:13 PM]: when u tested last?
BJland [8:13 PM]: why would that make you feel better, i dont get it
BayRidgeGUY [8:14 PM]: i work long hours, i dont have time to "philosophize" over a simple question.
BJland [8:14 PM]: gotcha
BayRidgeGUY [8:15 PM]: will u answer?
BJland [8:16 PM]: u just said you didnt have time for this,
BayRidgeGUY [8:17 PM]: whats your phone number? obviously IM doesnt work here.
BJland [8:18 PM]: i think we are just at an impasse, you want info from me without explaining WHY
BJland [8:18 PM]: and i dont like the question because i feel it is too simplistic for a complex issue
BayRidgeGUY [8:18 PM]: GETTING NAKED WOULD MAKE ME FEEL MORE COMFORTABLE.
BJland [8:18 PM]: well, at least ya made me laugh...
BayRidgeGUY [8:19 PM]: so???
BJland [8:20 PM]: well, if the answer to your question makes the difference to you about
BJland [8:21 PM]: continuing a conversation or meeting, i can tell we wouldnt get along, thats all - just different
BayRidgeGUY [8:22 PM]: trade #s and hang out as friends? (i'm assuming you're HIV+ unless i hear otherwise.)
BJland [8:24 PM]: sorry, that wouldnt work for me, i dont decide the TYPE of friend someone will be based on their hiv status
BayRidgeGUY [8:25 PM]: bye

Stuttgart, Sept 11

I'm not one to be too interested (understatement) in celebrities' takes on important events, or hearing about how they dealt with it, or what they were doing/thinking at the time..... Hearing about some of them certainly adds to my cynicism about life; but....

(there's always a but, eh?) I do remember hearing a few days after the attacks that Bjork had not canceled her Stuttgart appearance that night (which, in Germany, with the time difference and all, would only have been only a couple hours after). On the Bjork website, fans posted that she had dedicated a song that night, and subsequently, I thought I had located the exact live version (alas, the person in Finland who claimed to have the whole show never sent it to me...) of the song. Having seen her a few times, the accounts that mention how little she talks during her shows came as no surprise, and apparently, that night, dedicating the song was one of the few moments she spoke more than a couple of words (usually it's just a cute "thank you") (and here's one fan's account of the night). Asking the audience members to pray for the victims of the attack, eyes filled with tears, she sang Gotham Lullaby, a song by Meridith Monk. Some of you may know that back in 1996, a "fan" had sent a bomb to her London home (caught in time by the police, but the bomber killed himself), and that was the main reason she fled London. After moving to Spain, (where she did a lot of the work for Homogenic) she now makes her home in lower Manhattan (with frequent visits back to Iceland, of course). What little I can gather about her personality, I can only imagine that canceling the show was not an option - for her own sake no doubt, as singing is her emotional outlet - but I imagine, for the fans, to be able to give a brief glimpse of beauty, she must have felt honored to have the opportunity.

So, here's a live recording of Bjork singing Gotham Lullaby, Meridith Monk's original version of Gotham Lullaby, and a very groovy unofficial remix, incorporating Bjork's live recording, bits of Meridith Monk's, plus the d.j.'s own additions.

DAD's version of yours truly, Dec, 1965

oh, this is a hard one

is that a wedding ring, a "gay" wedding ring, or does it just not matter since he's only into "other muscular guys"?

did someone say JOCKSTRAP FETISH?

alright, folks, no comments about stroking stray p---y

Cock Shadow

today is CLEAN UP THAT MESS, YOUNG MAN day. The mess is this whole apartment, and yes, the young man is me.(stop laughing) It's not horrible, but each time I try to do anything, like scan a hot MANDATE guy like Mr Gold to the left here, or find the remote control, I wind up kicking several things, sometimes losing my balance and falling on that box of cockrings that needs to be photographed, catalogued, and sold. I also have all those old porn mags, many in no condition to actually sell, but chock-full of pics and info on some of my fave (and recently discovered) naked men to scan, catalogue, lose sleep over, etc. Got a cool email yesterday from someone looking for research material, on Christopher Rage, and was reminded that she linked me on her cool site in the Sex Diary Burb as "unapologetically horny" (accurate, you think?) - and, alas, the Xmas tree must come down, but it's got soooo much crap on it. More coffee, and THEN I'll get to work......... Am anxious to hear how a young friend of mine is enjoying the copy of Kansas City Trucking Co. he just got from me in the mail. I think he was 7 when it came out (well, I was too young back in 1976, too; just not as young).

should I, or shouldn't I?

thanks, etc

OK, before i get all mushy about actual people, let me be all crass and mention the stuff I got for Xmas: Simpsons 3-disc first season DVD (huge, fat, long, wet smooches to YOU, you know who you are!!); lots of chocolate from my family (along with cool clothes, gift certificates, and an honest-to-goodness effort to accomodate my NO-mammal/NO-bird eating habits - although my sisters kept teasing me about the BACON FAT content of every dish); new fantastic Russel Wright book from the current show here in NYC; a huge box of old porn magazines (tons of info there, plus some for sale on eBay now, as I type this - hehe); my Mom let me haul off a huge box of my DAD's drawings, spanning form the 50's to just a few years ago, when he died; some cool music cd's (some burned - you know who you are!); UNDERWEAR!!! - jockstraps, boxers, long johns, even some slinky silk longjohns!; home-baked cookies from the West Coast; even my cockring supplier gave me a new design to try out (anyone wanna help?); Jack Wrangler video of Dynamite (not only is it hilarious, but I've whacked off to it about 11 times this week!); calendar with 2 hot, embracing guys with the most lickable sideburns; oh yeah, my TEXAS RANGER badge (but remind me to stop wearing it out to the local bars...); several dirty (and, therefore, much appreciated) Xmas cards; and a whole bunch of other stuff I'll remember as soon as I hit the "publish" button

Maybe it's tacky to single people out (like being tacky has worried me in the past), but these 2 handsome devils - panchesco, and jocko - were really great with encouragement and advise early on in this blogging/website thing, and unlike many of my other crushes, many months later I still want to have their children, no matter how excruciating the labor is (ooh, octuplets would be cool - or was that a Simspons episode?), ...... and of course, my pal from Kansas (the state, not the band) who previewd all my "personal" videos before their general release (well, not exactly general release, but you know what I mean) and who has supplied me with tons of music, "props"for said videos, advice, and odd German-made Kitchen untensils......

and to think my mother used to worry when I was in college that all my pals were female - not to say that all these guys are pals (I can think of a few thinking, "who is this guy?") but still, I read their pages, and in the era of Oprah, that's enough for a relationship - akafrankgreen, andy, drub, chris, beau, hcl, john, jonno, keith, ron, queerscribbles, shadowy duck, dan, casey, sparky, adam - thanks guys for the dirty pics (of yourselves, and your loved ones), good reads, hilarious emails, late night whack-off sessions, cool downloads, instant messages, refreshing insights, arguments, fantastic links, forgiving my unsolicited email advise, giving me much-needed email advise, and a whole crapload more........

of course, i have a few "real life" friends, who don't have pages I can link to, but have put up with my absolute refusal to even look for a job for, OH MY, for 20 months! - by buying me dinners, giving me their old porn, listening to me rant and rave about the horrors of eBay, and feign interest when I talk about bloggers....... and there's my dearest friend, who I jokingly call my "80's boyfriend", who I dated for most of my first 9 years in New York, who has put up with shitloads of crap from me, who I've loved for 18 years, who did the most important thing any boyfriend can do, which is to not heap any expectations of what a boyfriend should be, but to nurture me into being the best version of myself that I could be, even more so in these many years after our break-up, thru this horrible autumn in NYC - (this is the part of the movie where I either change the channel, or get all weepy and can't look directly at the screen) - so I think I'll go now and work on those, um, what are they called? oh yeah, resolutions. Yup, I'll get right on that........

from the "I'll never get a boyfriend on AOL" department

SkYYboy4U [4:46 PM]: hi there
BJland [4:54 PM]: hey man
SkYYboy4U [4:54 PM]: how ru?
BJland [4:54 PM]: not bad, and you?
SkYYboy4U [4:55 PM]: trying to stay warm.......hanging out.....need to shower/shave....putting it off LoL
BJland [4:57 PM]: hmmm
BJland [4:57 PM]: sounds like we are in the same boat
BJland[4:57 PM]: but i'll definatley skip the shave
SkYYboy4U [5:00 PM]: LoL u can do that........I gotta shave so it's easier to get ready 4 work...........I cant read youre profile....the background is messing with my screen......old computer here
BJland [5:00 PM]: hmmm
BJland [5:01 PM]: just grey background
SkYYboy4U [5:05 PM]: I can see the link & also see the unshaved balls part....but I just shaved mine
BJland [5:05 PM]: hehe
SkYYboy4U [5:07 PM]: where ru?
BJland [5:07 PM]: lower east side
BJland [5:07 PM]: 41, 5'8, 140 hairy, bald
SkYYboy4U [5:09 PM]: big fun cock to play with?
BJland [5:10 PM]: on me?
BJland [5:10 PM]: i guess it can be fun at times
SkYYboy4U [5:10 PM]: D&D free?
BJland [5:10 PM]: oh, i dont know, man
BJland [5:11 PM]: i usually charge for that

(and yes, his profile said flight attendant)

publicly thanking people sucks. Wait, that sounds horrible; what I mean is, that this format is a bit odd, cuz you know there will be some glaring ommisions, plus a few who might think "who the hell is this guy, why is he linking to me a thank-you?" but, WTF, as the young folks say; and as soon as I finish listening to this great LIVE SIGUR ROS recording I found on the web, and slit my wrists, i'm sure I'll be in my perky peppy mood again................

just working on more magazine/video auctions

stood up

not like I wanted actual contact with another male human, but still, disappointed. Must sleep now.

gosh, I've been shopping on eBay for 48 hours str8, looking thru all the jocks, unionsuits, really bad thongs (ok, so there's no such thing as a GOOD thong, but there are some really really bad ones out there) and, of course, the occasional porn video (missed American Cream, I just wasn't willing to pay more than 12 bucks without the original box) - but this could be fun. And don't forget to look at my stuff.

er..... anyone having problems with the links in the previous post? Also, what very patient nice guy out there can teach me / or point me in the right direction to learn, some basic animated gif stuff? I'll save my ideas for Matmos-soundtracked FLASH sex-fantasy stuff til after I can make a simple 5-image animated giffy thang.

ahhhhhhhh, 2001. I'm still achey and headachey from this cold that will only 1/2 materialize, but I did manage to put up a few pics (stills) from some videotaping last summer. None of these guys wanted their faces to be recorded, so I was only allowed to tape when I was slurping on them (aww shucks, but, I had to do it for my art). If you don't want to see me acting all sleazy, don't look. Otherwise check out auditions for all 5 "encounters" - if you've seen 'em before, and just want to go to the new page, here ya go....boy #5 (that's him to the right, a dancer).

later, if I can find some 1/2 and 1/2 that doesn't taste like cheese, I'll pump up on some caffeine, and attempt some thank-you's to some really great folks who made my holidays just fantastic!

don't ask, but i think there were witnesses......(hic!)