elevatormusic

have you seen this man?
are you this man?
do you remotely resemble this man?
please contact me immediately!

I was looking thru my KodakPictures file yesterday, and found a few shots from last summer's Folsom Street East fair - goddamn he's slurpolicious!

Names, Darling

Tim Kramer
Michael Christopher
Jack Wrangler
Pierce Daniels
Lee Ryder
J.D. Slater
Roy Dean
Derrick Stanton
Clint Lockner
Kristen Bjorn
Eric Manchester
Leo Ford
Mickey Squires

yup, another plug for my eBay auctions plus a few things at Naughty Bids (and don't look at the leather cock/ball divider cock ring - for some reason, unmodeled, no bids on the same auction item at eBay!!)

since "that day," i find i'm: lazy, horny, insatiable, distracted, anxious. anyone else?
........ woke up at 3, 4am on the couch, CNN still on. Seem to do that alot lately, as if keeping this vigil will keep the bad stuff from happening again (to us, anyway). Crawl into the bedroom, closing my eyes, flashes of "that day", tears, then anger at myself for dwelling on it. So let's just get this out of my system for the day:

Fuck Saudi Arabia; Boycott the AIRLINES; fuck the oil companies; no more corporate bailouts; FUCK Saudi Arabia

So, while having made fun of all those folks who have the "buy me things" link on their webpages, I did, a few weeks back, create my own lil' AMAZON page; selecting a few Simpsons things, plus maybe a webnerd book, and a few art books. So, why the hell, when i just logged in to look something up, does it come up with this recommendation? Does it know how many hours I sit at this desk, staring at this screen, surrounded by bags of chips, and pints of Ben and Jerry's, my legs getting numb from inertia, getting up only to occasionally re-microwave my coffee?

Hitexplosion [11:35 PM]: hi
BJland [11:36 PM]: hey
Hitexplosion [11:37 PM]: wassup
BJland [11:37 PM]: not much
Hitexplosion [11:38 PM]: im horny, drunk, and i want a cock
BJland [11:38 PM]: let me know when you find one

.........taking a break from watching, selling, manufacturing, and distributing porno, I did some websurfing........ yeah,yeah, you probably saw Laid Off already, but it made me laugh ....... so back to the porno.....

so, I pick it up at the post office, i rush home.....

I open the box, and its a "small" cassette box, you know, the type that is the size same as the videocassette itself, so I think - "uhoh" -

then, I notice that the "JOE GAGE'S CLOSED SET" logo is GLUED to the box!!!! and on the side, as well....... OH FUCK!

so i insert the video (he didnit rewind!!) and see the quality is sorta "ok" not great, but nothing unusual (sorta yellowish hue to the skin tones), since I know that these video companies didnit always take the best care in putting this stuff out...

so, while I fast forward to get to the "Good Stuff" - the hoped for previews - I look at the packaging again. The square glued-on label is actually NOT covering anything up, because the corner is curled up a bit, I can see that there are 4 small circles, like markings, for the place to stick the label - and on the side of the box, as well. So I get to the end of the movie (I never noticed the corny "titles" at the end - but I digress)....... and there's a preview for "Boys in the Sand" with this like beachboys tune playing over it (I'm sure the actual film had more classical music, right??). Then a preview for KANSAS CITY - a movie trailer preview, not a video preview!!! I'm soooo psyched, I can't beleive I knew this just from seeing the "tmx" logo on the video box in the eBay auction - so, long story short, 18 minutes of movie theatre trailers, PLUS: it lasts all of 2 seconds, but finally PROOF that there IS a watersports scene in Kansas CIty - I've never seen it on ANY of the videos I've rented, bought, borrowed or duped!!! Richard Locke has spoken of this, how he was waiting to do his scene, and the other scenes kept delaying, so he's drinking more and more beer - well, there ya go, it WAS in the original movie!!!

now, the hunt continues. I'll have to re-check both copies of Kansas City I have now, cuz I swear I saw no sign of piss - this is scarey, isn't it? I really need to go look for a job................

so, I had all these cool links and shit set up for a nifty blog to promote my porn auctions on eBay, and they went and cancelled 5 of my adult auctions! Apparently, I described the sexual activity going on in the videos, and, well, it's just not done; you're supposed to buy the merchandise without having a clue what happens! But, but the time you read this, I may have some stuff up, so take a look.............

.....please?

.......or, just ship your old, unwanted porn to me.... more on that over the weekend.........

making a compilation video for a pal, and, well, it's having that effect on me........ oooooooooh, since he reads this from time to time, I can't say who just shot a nice load across Steve Rambo's face; but poor Steve, that clenched lip look is just not very sexy! I mean, it's obvious why he's keeping his mouth closed, and that's cool, but there are ways of doing it that don't look so, um, scaredy-cat like, ya know? Or just don't do the facial thing if it's not your thing - porn directors should really talk more with their actors to see what they are comfortable with. And see in this next scene, this guy takes a huge load on his face, no wincing, just a nice slurp job on the guy in leather chaps, and then a dirty grin while he's getting spooged on! Awww, man! I forgot Cliff Parker is in this one...... gotta run!

I'll buy that for $60 million

Madison [9:03 AM]: you seem kind of sweet.. :)
BJland [9:04 AM]: usually, but.... havent had my coffee yet
Madison [9:04 AM]: just up myself.. thinking to order in breakfast...
BJland[9:05 AM]: ahhhhh
Madison [9:06 AM]: bloomberg won! i forgot until just now.. so happy..
Madison [9:08 AM]: i'm trying to quit smoking.. I think I'm going to cave in though.. unless you have something more "healthy" for me to put in my mounth..
BJland [9:20 AM]: Naw; but ask your new mayor

Following behind JockoHomo (oooh, that's a nice thought...)
just remember that Halloween isn't over 'til the Simpsons say it is!

It's The Simpsons Halloween Special

"Treehouse of Horror XII"
TONIGHT at 8:30PM/7:30C

and while you're all trying to figure out the Theatre Poster / Cockring Contest below, here's a little song from The City of New York Vs. Homer Simpson

and have you checked out the other blogger with all those "O's" in his name, johnny a go go??

miscellaneous stuff

My GOD Michael Christopher has a huge piece of meat! - No, that's not him over there, but I've been getting a lot of requests for info on director Arthur J. Bressan, Jr., and I'm watching one of his last films, Juice, which stars Mr Christopher (who you may remember from such films as The Best Little Warehouse in L.A., Gayracula, Pleasure Beach (a personal fave) and A Few Good Men),as a porn mag photographer who's boss Eric Ryan doesn't like his "arty" pics, so he's on a deadline to get more pics. Bressan also did a lot of work for P.B.S. apparently, and most notably did a few "legit" movies like Abuse which I haven't yet seen, but hope to rent this week. And lots of people want info on another of his porn films from 1984, Daddy Dearest, which was Richard Locke's last film, and also stars a young Dean Johnson, who apparently is hosting a new nite at a new(ish) bar, "The Hole", this Thursday called "Triple XXX"

Meanwhile, I'm posting this pic over here (or there, can't remember if i did align=left or right)as a sort of contest - I'm trying to figure out all those theatre posters in the background, and as an incentive to helping me out, if you Email Me the most correct answers, I'll send you a cockring - pictured over there somewhere, it's a simple, yet elegant, black leather snap-on cockring.

Today's election has made the friggin' phone ring off the hook for several days now, mostly from mayoral hopeful Mike Bloomberg - "Hi, I'm Mike Bloomberg, I'm not a politician, therefore, I am most qualified for a political job like mayor of the Center of the Universe, so please vote for me, or I take all those jobs i've created out of this fucking city!" Then there's former mayor Koch: "Hi, I'm former Mayor Koch, I've already endorsed 2 other losers in this election, so what the hell, I'll endorse Mike Bloomberg now."

as we used to say in Chicago, "vote early, and vote often"

from the SLURP department....

new look; looks good

I,
I live among the creatures of the night

yeah yeah yeah, but WHAT ABOUT THE PORNO-CRAZED RAMBLINGS??? ok, so I'm watching Daniel Holt screw the beejeepers out of 2 guys in Kenneth Holloway's JOB SITE, (who you may rememeber from such films as: Hotel Hell, Knockout, and of course, Rodeo) and they are playing the instrumental version of The Human League's Don't You Want Me!!

Woah, Eric Ryan is on top of this car, and this guy is licking his balls thru the sunroof!! - the best part, of course, is the narration by this "queeny" uncle, who runs the bordello that Tad, the "twink" has just inherited. It's probably one of the few actual films that Holloway made, since he got into directing in the early 80's, and usually used video, and that dang song by Frankie Goes to Hollywood Relax in just about every friggin' movie he ever made! Oh shit! Now, during the orgy finale, this beautiful hairy man with a huge piece of meat is getting a nice blowjob, but - EGAD!!!! The really long version of Self Control is playing on the bar's jukebox! This is a true early 80's movie!! What do you bet that the HIS video version doesn't have all these tunes on it?? Probably not, cuz I think I just heard Madonna's Lucky Star playing.

can i just say -

BOYCOTT the AIRLINES!!

how much money did those fuckers ask for the day after the attack?? (or, if you are an Emmy-watcher, "the tragic events of Sept 11")?? they only got 15fuckingBILLION dollars, what 5 or 10 billion less than they asked for? The news seems to focus on the guy caught with the knives, and of course they have to figure out what he was up to trying to board a United Airlines flight with a stun gun, a bunch of knives, and some mace. But WHAT THE FUCK's the deal with Argenbright Security ?? They didn't even search the guy's carry-on bag after they found 2 knives on his body!!! The carry-on search happened later, during a random search (meaning they didn't target him specifically, he could well have "lucked-out" and not had the additional search) just before take-off. FUCK ALL these incompetant greedy fuckers - and the Justice Dept??? - "Argenbright reached a settlement in October with the Justice Department, admitting it had failed to complete court-ordered background checks on its employees. That move followed by less than a year guilty pleas by three Argenbright managers who admitted breaking FAA rules. They allowed untrained employees -- some with criminal backgrounds -- to operate airport checkpoints, the managers said." says the CNN story. ferchrissakes, a goddamn welfare mother getting a couple hundred bucks a month has to put up with more government involvemnet in her life than these fuckers who are taking BILLIONS from us and still fucking up!!! From the Washington Post : "Last month federal investigators found that Argenbright was employing security workers who did not speak English (emphasis added) at Dulles International Airport. When investigators gave a skills test to 20 Argenbright workers at Dulles, seven failed. The company was already on probation for serious security violations last year at the Philadelphia airport, for which it paid $2.3 million in fines and restitution and several managers went to jail." DO NOT SPEAK ENGLISH?, CRIMINAL BACKGROUNDS? NO BACKGROUND CHECKS?

Look, I'm not one of these English-only types, far from it, but doncha think speaking English would be a good way of communicating with each other, and the people you are supposed to be searching? And this House bill that passed last week? jeezus, more money to the AIrlines, and higher pay for the same people who've been fucking up for years now, really fucking nice. So now the feds will supervise the non-English speaking criminal background folks who do the security check - I'm calling up United Airlines right now and booking my flight to CHICAGO for Christmas, oh fucking yeah, man.

..........gosh, what a great night I had. Nope, didn't do the bar thing afterall, but met up with some AOL guy, and it was really nice. Very affectionate man, he had soft, firm hands that seemed to really dig my body. We napped after we both exploded on my torso, and at 3:30 am, sorta hazy as I awoke, he says: "Ice cream?" I giggled, and he said it again: "Ice Cream?" - so I said yes, not bothering to ask what kind, and he smiled and asked why I was giggling. It's just like exactly what I do after having sex with a stranger - generally I hurry him out the door, already preparing in my mind a bowl of ice cream, sometimes with a microwaved brownie. So this guy scoops out all of the pint into the 2 bowls, and we cuddle and eat ice cream. Then he suggests we get under the covers, and as we did, I got all frisky again. Smart man that he apparently is (he liked my body, right??? hehe), he took control of the situation, and got us into a quick slurp-slurp lick-lick whank-off so we could actually get some sleep - I loved that! Usually, there's that "too tired to do it, too frisky to sleep" thing going on that gets you nowhere. He warned me he had to be up early, and after the alarm sounded the second time, I dressed, leaving him in bed waiting for his bestfriend to call for their morning outing. Riding home, with the cool air, and warm morning sun in my face, I was glad I had the discman, with Bjork cooing in my ear...........

Feel my breath
On your neck
And your heart
Will race

It was a great ride home, taking my usual detour through the park to see the dogboys (and some doggirls) at the dogrun....... made some good coffee (not the cheap vacuum packed espresso I usually get on sale at Key Food, but some tasty Brazilian Espresso from Porto Rico on St Marks) and sat down for some blogreading. Good thing I didn't read Tinman's Saturday post, it would've reminded me of my bias against men under 35 - this is taken totally out of context, but - "I fear I'll wind up 35 or 40 and single. I fear I'll be one of those over-the-hill single gay guys who still hangs out at bars but nobody wants to talk with him because he's too old." - that rubbed me the wrong way! Fortunately, I had so much rubbing the right way (by a 30-year-old) that it made me smile rather than scream. Gosh, I don't think I was ever one to think of 35 or 40 as "over the hill" - I figured guys didn't talk to me in bars just cuz i'm ugly, not cuz I'm old!!

am taping some videos for a pal, and never really sat down to watch Bijou before - Wakefield Poole 's 1972 trippy film, following up on his 1971 hit Boys in the Sand - but it's pretty cool. I mean, it's nearly 30 years old, and maybe isn't your quick whack-off type of film, but I like the way the camera lingers on the star, Bill Harrison, especially in the earlier part of the film, when he first grabs his 501-covered crotch while listening to the radio (Led Zeppelin's Dazed and Confused and Babe I'm Gonna Leave You make a pretty good soundtrack to his whacking) - first on the bed, then in the shower.........

but goddamn! I am soooo horny today - I might break my Saturday night rule and actually go out, but I totally hate the crowds; although I must admit, finding a nice cuddly on Sunday morning kinda boyfriend might be more possible on a Saturday, than my usual Sunday night outings into the spoogey Cock's backroom, eh?

Darrell and Shirley

While this guy seems to be intrigued by the FBI's suspicious activities and terrorism reporting site, I'm finding the FBI's Kid's Page to be far more entertaining. Here, black labs Darrell and Shirley sniff for bombs at the FBI ( I think they mean for the FBI, but maybe they do it at the FBI, as well). Check out Special Agent Bobby Undercover - here you get to help Agent Bobby disguise himself, which includes choosing between several fake noses, some hats, and a lovely blonde wig!





.........and Special Agent Steve????? Good God! That is one amazing ball-tickler, I must say!

um, I don't know where my pal got it, and it's rather juvenile, but go ahead, check it out, it made me laugh (but I'm high on caffeine)