Wednesday, April 14, 2004

friday, good
Beautiful sunny day, and I'm sitting at this desk, this machine, my eyes straining, my head aching. I'm getting crabby, and the sun is poking itself through the black blinds trying to get me outside. So I pick some clothes off the floor, stick keys and money in my pocket, and head off on the bike. Just around the neighborhood, and I go into the park, towards the dog run, which always cheers me up. Good Friday, so lots more people off, and out. And the weather is really nice, warm spring day. And as I lean against the fence, looking into the dog run at all the dogs, and people, I get sad.

Not recognizing the feeling right away, but this crumminess washes over me, and I realize that this summer will be like most of the others for the past decade - the longer days, warmer and more inspiring, will fool me into thinking the season will be filled with fun and excitement. But as the days and weeks pass, and the few friends I have spend most of their free time out of town, and with their (sometimes newly acquired) boyfriends, the loneliness of winter returns. But none of those comforting excuses for why winter can be so isolating are there - the short dark days, the snow, cold temperatures, etc. I'm leaning against the fence, and it's like that feeling in a bar when it seems like everyone is involved in a conversation with friends, and you are the only solitary person, standing against the jukebox, nursing your beer.

I head back home, and don't really remember how I filled up the next few hours (I'm sure there were some Simpsons episodes, a highlight of my Friday evenings not working). Sometime after midnight, again sitting here at this desk, this machine, I contemplate going to the sex club. I hadn't been in over 3 months, and while I hadn't pledged any particular time period for staying away, I had decided that I was overdoing it, and needed a break. But Friday night, the break I needed was at least the consolation of pacing around a dark environment watching other men have sex, and if I grabbed some balls, or someone grabbed mine, all the better than to get another aching computer monitor induced headache. I take off the old clothes, head to the shower, scrubbing all the parts I hope get some tongue action, put on some fresh clothes including the lucky jockstrap and favorite cockring, boots, and head out the door. The bike has already unlocked itself in anticipation, and riding a few blocks, turning onto Houston Street, I feel my heart racing - wondering if, or what, might happen - kinda like the old old days when I'd head to the Bijou Theatre after work.

Inside, the door guy teases me about my "Troll" cap; the next guy inside takes my 22 dollars, and the third guy takes my clothes. No glasses, just boots and jockstrap, I part the leather curtain and head directly for the mouthwash (hey, someone might want to kiss me, eh?) After that, I walk purposefully towards the back, the darkest corner, to get my eyes the chance to adjust faster. As I pass by various bodies that I can't quite focus on, I see one out of the corner of my eye that looks familiar, but I keep going. Before he gets up and comes to me, I remember who it is. I can't even remember his nickname (the one I use here, not that I call him that) - something like HairyHispanic, and he pulls me and says 'hi.' Within seconds his better half has arrived, and we are chatting. A few remarks about how dead it is, how no one is here, the usual bar room chatter that usually gets me annoyed, but I don't do the begging-for-attention response, some variation of "and what am I, chopped liver?" Instead, on the 4th or 5th remark about how nothing is happening tonight, I smile and say "You're either part of the problem, or part of the solution" and walk off. As I head towards the basement, some boy gives me a wide smile, I smile back, but keep going.

Downstairs, fairly quiet, two guys loitering outside the bathroom, and one guy on a bench in the small room, I go inside and lean against the wall. Bench-sitting guy is familiar. Nice body, nice face, nice cock. We've done it, and he has since rarely looked interested in me. Then the smiling guy comes in, smiles again, and goes to kneel a few feet from me. He tries to lean against a bench, but it moves with an awful sound, almost leaving him on the floor. Catching himself, he tries to lean again, but staring intently at my crotch. Again, the bench moves with a scraping loud sound, I am about to bust out laughing, and the bench-sitting guy is smiling, holding in his laughter. Third time the guy leans, but by then he's pushed the bench back to the wall, so it doesn't move, and he stares at my crotch with some sort of lip-smacking motion. If he didn't have such a cute, fuckable face, and slim, lightly hairy body, the silliness of the moment might have caused me to stay on the other side of the room. But I slowly moved toward him.

I grab the back of his head, and push his face into my jockstrap. He moans. He tries to get my cock out of the strap, but I just move his head to the side, and back again, and thrust into his face, forcing him to gag on the cloth. I want him to feel it get bigger before he can see it, and he looks up, pleadingly, and I just pull my balls out and feed them to him. Some muffled sound about daddy-something, but I don't give him the chance to clarify. I reach down for his chin, bend over, and kiss him hard and wet; then quickly stuff my cock in his mouth. At this point I notice more guys in the room, and out of the corner of my eye, I see the twosome of previous encounters and the conversation upstairs. In the corner together, they start to fool around, both pairs of eyes on me and my kneeling boy. He's not a particularly good cocksucker, but he's determined, so I keep thrusting away. Noticing we are being watched, not just by the couple, but by other guys, that's what gets me hard, and kneeling-boy likes that. He likes it a lot and the dirtytalk begins again. Daddy this and Daddy that, I don't actually mind. Then the couple move, and get closer. As one of them reaches to kiss me, kneeling-boy gets very excited, and moves to the other wall, and the four of us go at it.

That twosome - one reason I loved sex with them is that they are both great kissers, and they give me plenty. And HairyHispanic, he loves my beard, and as he starts pulling on it, and my cock is rock hard in Kneeling-Boy's face, he seems to remember how much I like him yanking it, and he yanks hard, nice and hard. Then he pushes my face onto his boyfriend's hard dick, pushing my head down, and grabbing my ass. This makes it difficult for kneeling-boy, but he's still trying. Then boyfriend pushes my face onto HairyHispanic's hairy cock, which I love since his sweaty crotch smells and tastes great. He then grabs me ass, gets behind me, and makes thrusting motions. At this point, kneeling-Boy is struggling to find something to do, manages to get a few more licks, but gives up eventually (but not to worry - he latched onto some other guy in another part of the room). Now it's just the three of us.

More hard kissing, more beard yanking, more cocksucking. I struggle to get under HairyHispanic's balls, as he is sitting on one of the benches. He's moaning, reaching for my beard, and I can see him kissing his boyfriend above me. I don't quite get where I want to go, and he suddenly pulls me up by the bead for more kissing. Just then a plop of something hits me on the head, and I realize what it is as the rest of the stuff makes it's intended target - my ass. He should know better, and as his second finger is struggling, he pulls me for a kiss and his smile acknowledges that his cock won't be going in. But it's all lubed up, and he wants to play, so he pushes his dick against my ass and pumps. He pushes my head down into his boyfriend's crotch, and my own dick is hard and bouncing around madly. Moving once again, he kisses me, then his boyfriend, then pulls our heads together. Three-way kissing is fun, but a bit hard to manage, but we try anyway. Sloppy and hard, we give up quickly as boyfriend puts on a condom, and gets behind Hairy Hispanic. His hairy stomach is so sweaty I have to lick it up, and he moans as his boyfriend enters him. He pushes my face onto his hardcock, his thrusts in unison with the man behind him. Now his body is shaking, he pulls my beard and pulls my face off him, shooting all over my chest. I get up, cock in hand, as his boy friend slowly pulls out. HairyHispanic stands, and I go for his boyfriend's balls with only a few seconds to spare - now he's cumming, and laughing, simultaneously. Joining his boyfriend's spunk on my chest, we kiss, then the three of us kiss, and they look down at my dick. I hold off, silently. This was fun, but I've just started.