Friday, May 13, 2005

Angst In My Pants
ouch. there was stuff i was gonna do today, my only day off work this week. but, um, i can still taste the tequila in my beard.... I remember thinking "use your indoor voice" as the man explained at 10am why he was leaving my bed.... I drove past the former home of a great bar, now the "SPIKE GALLERY," on my way to The Eagle. A man came up and asked something about a bj, took me a few seconds to realize he meant that pornoblogging guy, BJ; turns out he'd written me months ago, but I never answered (sorry, Andy - hope you are enjoying your stay in NYC, and hope you are resting your face on the handsome furry chest of the handsome furry man you were chatting with when I stumbled out of that place 3 or 4 beers later). And my pants died. No longer a humorous snap or two popping open, it is practically impossible for me to keep them snapped up for more than 3 minutes at a time. Riding the bike across town, the top four of the five snaps undone, I realized the thighs were too tight, as well. I am still clinging to the notion that at least in the thighs, it's muscle that has grown, not fat. Please don't tell me I am wrong. So I avoided all the scary straight clubs on 10th avenue by going up the West Side Highway instead, imagining sex scenarios that surely no longer take place over there. The handsome man guarding the leather curtain smiled and allowed my 4 second drool before I went past him seeking 3 dollar beer(s). Then I paced the three floors, looking but not finding. Back downtown, locking up the bike outside of the Cock, settling for having the bottom two snaps fastened as I gave the big man at the door my money, the place was packed. Cuter, but younger crowd, the volume of the music made it ok for awhile. At one point I looked up and saw the handsome bartender, Javier, standing on top of the bar; instincts pulled me over, and his hand pulled at my chin and poured the golden liquor down my throat, splattering a good bit on my face and into the beard. I don't know how long I was there before I noticed the man who has been in my bed before, and would be again later. He had a big big smile when he saw me - undeserved, as I hadn't called him back after either of the previous times together. Nonetheless I hugged, and clung like a lost puppy who finally found a warm place to sleep. He fondled and groped body parts, and I rubbed and grabbed facial hair, and we didn't seem to need to say anything to indicate he was coming to my place, but he grabbed his coatchecked thing, the lights came on, we headed to the sidewalk with the rest of the, um, patrons.