bj's gay porno-crazed ramblings

Monday, May 16, 2005
gee is for GARBAGE
Waking up on the wrong side of the bed requires that I be on the fire escape, which didn't happen (today) so it must've happened sometime after I got out of bed, poured some coffee, and started clicking around the internet. The computer crashed right on schedule, just as I was about to "I LIKE" something (er, someone) on BigMuscleBear. Staring at the blue screen, i thought I would listen to some music on the stereo while brushing my teeth, and made the bad decision of grabbing one of my many GARBAGE singles and plopping it into the CD changer and turning up the volume. About 15 seconds into You Look So Fine, I was crying. VERSION 2.0 was a wonderful record, but I forgot why I hardly ever listen to it anymore. The mistake might be listening only to the slow songs, like that single this morning. It goes back to 1999, the last man I loved, LOVED! - or so I thought. who knows, and i don't care - i've been overanalyzing this for 5 fucking years! Anyhoo.... He used to love all the Garbage CD singles I'd buy, especially after the first break-up and the getting-back-together without discussing if we were actually getting-back-together period. He's stand there, in his boxers and dago t-shirt, grooving to whatever latest discs I bought, while i just sat and admired and loved his hairy shoulders, his scruffy face, his scent. I honestly think the scent thing is what I can't get over - it just overwhelmed me and made me crazyhappy and crazycrazy and crazysad. Grrrrrrr - I need some Medication!