bj's gay porno-crazed ramblings

Thursday, July 27, 2006
ROAD RAGE, Wednesday afternoon, Avenue C
So I have my Trader Joe's paper double bag filled with Priority Mail boxes, hopping on my bike so I can bring these bits of porno to the Post Office to ship to their eBay buyers. As I ride down Avenue C, I approach 4th st, where there has been some sort of construction work for a couple of weeks now. The construction workers are all familiar by now, still looking good from a distance - hard hats, thick facial hairy, grimey jeans hung low, tool belts, etc. - but up close, nothing to write home about. The flagger flags us over from the downtown lane into the uptown lane as the flagger a block down makes sure uptown traffic doesn't advance. I follow a car and only a few feet past 4th street I hear this loud, repetitive BEEEEEP!

Beeep! BeepBEEEPBEEEEEEP! BEEEEEEEEEEEEEPp!

Rather obnoxious, so I turn my head to see what is going on, and a few feet behind me is a silver-colored SUV, and a woman behind the wheel who sees me looking at her and continues: BEEEEEEEEP! BEEP!BEEEEEPBEEEPBEEEPBEEEPBEEP!!!BEEEEEEEEEEPP!!

What-the-f*ck? I think as she continues this. So I stop my bike in the middle of the road, turn around, look at her, and as I kick my kickstand down to park, say: "You in a hurry?" and now my bike is parked and i am standing in the middle of the road, traffic stopped. "Well......... FUCK..... YOU!
...... FUCKYOU FUCKYOU FUCKYOU FUCKYOU!"
I scream at the top of my lungs, everyone on the street has stopped, including about 6-8 construction workers, and the woman beeps her horn again, one more time. I am about to continue screaming when one of the construction workers, thick thick mustache looks over at me, trying not to laugh, but the slightest smile, says: "Hey buddy, you ready to move it along now, OK?" So I get back on my bike, ride past the still motionless other construction workers, and turn right onto 3rd street as the SUV continues south, beeping all the way....