one pal of mine couldn't bare listening to it, but I thought it was sooooooo funny; don't really know the sourse, probably some English sit-com, but on with the BJORK BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION, here's Short Term Affair.

I know, I know, you're thinking - "but Bjork's 36th birthday isn't until tomorrow" - and of course, if you knew that, you certainly already have the Acapella Version of Hidden Place; but just in case you don't, take a listen - it's wonderful! I'll look for some others for tonight/tomorrow, of course!

Jack Wrangler

Been keeping myself busy watching/reviewing/auctioning more porn - this is from a favorite, Gemini, and since I just got a second copy, I'm about to auction it on eBay. Jack Wrangler actually approached director Steve Scott with this idea of an All About Eve split-personality like character, but Steve thought 2 was all Jack, and any porn flick, could handle. So, Jack plays the role of a nice guy with new nice guy lover, as well as this "bad" personality who goes around having sleazy sex in backalleys with Richard Locke while Pink Floyd plays. He also is sandwiched between 2 guys in a pool-table fuck, as well as a contruction-worker worship scene (more Pink Floyd), and a great men's restroom/gloryhole scene. Eventually, when the lover discovers Jack's horrible problem, he commits him to a hospital for treatment.

hmmmmm. well, yesterday, another feeble attempt at getting sex. I should've known when he kept yapping on the phone about anything and everything, after we agreed I'd be at his place in just 2 hours, that I should've backed out. But, I figured that I am so disagreeable and unadventurous lately, that I should really take advantage of the only sex-invite I've had in a long while (last Saturday's photo-shoot fluff/blowjob doesn't count). His place was a mess - newspapers, magazines, dogtoys, pots and pans (not dirty, just dusty) everywhere. And the dog, as sweet as she was, really required a lot of attention. Then, at one point, we are sitting on the bed, and the dog (female) comes over and starts humping my host's leg! But it got worse - he started egging the dog on, with all sorts of sex-talk "Oh yeah, you're the best, c'mon, fuck me stud!" and shit like that! Seeing my jaw on the floor, he tried to laugh it off, shook off the disappointed dog, and tried to return his attentions to me. I tried to make conversation, not quite ready to leave, but not ready to get all snuggly with him (his leg was probably still wet). He did the half-way massage thing, and I started getting sleepy. Then he took the dog out for a pee, and put some music on. Which at first was cool, but by the time he came back, the music was that Enya song that is the background for that WTC memorial website that I watched last Sunday morning and balled like a baby for 20 minutes, so I started to get all insular and quiet. We tried the hugging, light kissing thing, which was good, he has a nice body, nice head, stubbly goatee, all salt-and-pepper; but the music went into this Henry Mancini movie soundtrack thing which is really just elevator music that you might know the name of.... we retreated to the bedroom again, but I just couldn't get it up, and once he had me completely naked, I knew it was useless.

He lit up a joint, and while I usually don't like to smoke with strangers, I hoped it would relax me. Well, it did, but in that listless, "sure, do what you want, let me know when it's over and point me to the fridge" way. And after awhile, when he kept moving around, and switching positions, I got suspicious that he was on one of those Chelsea Boy drugs that goes by some letter of the alphabet. Ugh. You know, he takes a few licks, you groan, he moves on to something else, his elbow jabbing in your side, he moves again, sticking some body part in your face, you try to make "slurpy I'm into this" noises, and then just when you 're in a groove, he's gone, disappeared to change the lighting or temperature. Ice cream. It's Saturday Night, shouldn't I be having pizza? Wonder if I have the fixings for brownies at home? Ok, I'm gone, and there's no hope of getting me back. Eventually he senses this, and says "if you need to go home, it's cool" but it takes me the longest while to leave, I'm such a guilt-ridden wimp, I think I have to make sure he cums first. UGH. I mean, I love seeing a guy cum, I love making a guy cum, but again, it took awhile. He could tell I was willing to wait til he came, so he postioned me for the manner that would get him off, and then the noises! I mean, I loves grunts and groans and all that, but this was real loud, and was like something from Hanna Barbera! I kept looking down at him, expecting to see Elmer Fudd and the Tazmanian Devil; and the dog looked real worried, she kept looking at me with these "what the FUCK are you doing to him" eyes! He came, but then started the zone-out post-cum phase, so I got up and tried to find my clothes.

On my bike, discman blasting tunes from BeautifulGarbage, I started to think about what to have for dinner, and as soon as I walked in the door, made some food while spreading the take-out menus on the couch. Then I was a slug on the couch for the rest of the night, disappointed again, knowing that I'm just not cut out for this - I'm really good at the post 3-month thing: once we're dating that long, and I'm secure, I make dinner for you, I'm really great in bed, I'm sailing! But this interveiwing thing is for the dogs, really...............

WEINERS!

ok, we have 2 winners - each guessed 4 correctly, both having gotten the 3 listed below, plus

P (duck vamps) also guessed "cabaret"; then added "That's all I can see what with that huge cock in the way."

Casey guessed "his unit is dangling in front of 'Annie'.", then went on to add "the lower right (mostly offscreen) could be Cabaret. Or The Rocky Horror Show. Or any number of other musicals where someone is made up in lots of lipliner. I'm making things up now, time to quit."


so, I just need to get addresses from the boys, and they'll get their prize.

Thanks to all who entered; I found the whole thing to be very very funny, since invariablye everyone claimed to know nothing about Theatre - me, I barely got Superstar!

I promise, if and when I do another contest, it'll be about porn - I certainly have a lot more knowledge there, and who knows, maybe I can use it as an excuse to make folks search through my pornology pages!

sorry about the delay - I'd love to be able to tell you I was out last night, doing all sorts of unspeakable things, but, alas, I was on a very long phone call with mom, then, well, I passed out on the couch.

contest

ok, the following "RUNNERS UP" (or is that runner ups?) correctly guessed:

Jesus Christ Superstar

Filumena

A Murder is announced

• Mr. Hammer
  
• Tom from Köln
  
• Sparky
  
  

what're u lookin' at?

so I shave my ears, so what?

working on the list of losers, er, runners-up, for the contest - do I have to do links and all that?

contest update

got a bunch of entries (entrances?)..... anyway, a bunch got 3 correct answers, but I have to double check the few who ventured 4, 5, and 6 guesses, and will post the winner late tonight. Yup, Friday night, single, in Manhattan, and I'll be busy verifying, then posting, the winner of the theatre poster - cockring contest. One guy, well, his entry was so funny (but quite wrong) I may have to post that, as well.

i think I am supposed to be going uptown (again) in about 20 minutes - ugh. and I really wanted to watch Gemini a fantastic Steve Scott film from 1979 with Jack Wrangler - he's a split-personality, who just got a new boyfreind, but his other personality has all the sleazy sex, like the opening back-alley blowjob of Richard Locke while Pink Floyd's Careful With That Axe, Eugene plays. Quite wonderful, and it's my second copy, so I may be selling it on eBay soon.

so, as I am getting near the bottom of the bag of porn I purchased on Sunday ( 35 videos, 5 mags), I find that someone tossed in this flyer - hmmmm. "Fits any penis size" - HEY! what the hell are they trying to say?



meanwhile...........

BOYS I WANNA PLUG

bill - sharing the same name as my most-recent-Ex, normally that would turn me off, but he is a fellow ex-Chicagoan, and the not-so-secret porno stash IS rather extensive

pottymouth if you are local - it's only 5 bucks, this friday, Lower East Side - DO IT!

adam - one of the few bloggers who was not (yet) banned me from posting comments on his page - some really great photography, and very helpful on my webnerd questions.

wait, I mean, "plug" like promote, right?

such a pretty city

I'm watching Law and Order, and I have further proof I'm a BIG FAG when:

1) I wished I had taped the show, after realizing how many potential male suspects are dressed in blue collar uniforms

2) I squeal when I realize the eventual female suspect is Diana Scarwid, who played Christine Crawford in Mommie Dearest (not to mention starring in Strange Invaders, as well).

Speaking of televsion, the lovely gentleman pictured here is known to me and other porno fans as Wade Nichols star of Boy-Napped, and apparently some str8 porn, as well (which I wouldn't know anyting about). But to others, he's known as Dennis Parker, star in a daytime soap, The Edge of Night, and also had a disco "hit" of sorts, called NEW YORK BY NIGHT which has made me laugh so hard all week - my favorite lyrics -

on 42nd street
X-rated is the beat
see some skin up on the silver screen
at 53rd and 3rd
a dollar is the word
turn that trick, you better hurry kid

ok, a whole 30 hours in this thing, and while I feel a bit like stupid sexy flanders, I swear, I still don't see a need to change. I mean, it's not like I work, or have a boyfriend, or even any sort of potential ex-boyfriend on the horizon, I needn't worry about impressing anyone, I just need to be comfortable.......and with 2 hours of decent tv on tonight to look forward to (yeah, West Wing finally won me over, since it's a decent warm-up before Law and Order). ooooooooh, Malcolm just shot up a million points, playing one of my fave Elvis songs: Pump it Up.

where was I? oh yeah, last time I had "sex" it was Saturday, which shouldn't seem like so long ago, except it was "i'm done so I'm leaving now" sex - you know, the guy has a boyfriend, came over so I could take pics of a few cockrings on him, and well, I guess I decided he needed fluffing..... well, it's getting a bit boring. Sunday night I returned to the Cock, after skipping it for the previous 2 Sunday Nights, and well, with one pal kneeling in the southeast corner, and another one playing peak-a-boo with a group in the northwest corner, I just couldn't find a decent spot to, well, and some guy kept grabbing my beer bottle - I mean, it's cold, wet, hard, and has a long-neck, are you really that drunk you can't tell the difference? And then in the main room, a former roommate, drunk - you know "I'm gonna yell, and stand right next to your ear, and tell you the same 2 stupid stories over and over again" drunk - complaining how being on probation for having the cops find cocaine on him is really putting a damper on his life - ugh - like he needs to get higher.
Me, I think a pizza is in order. I think I have a few beers in the fridge, and while I rarely drink at home, and even more rarely alone, what the hell? It'll keep me home tonight, Last Wednesday I tried $1.00 beer night, but watching a pal hit on one guy, chat for awhile, move on to the next, and me not getting a single smile from anyone, well, not in the mood for a repeat. ok, pizza's ordered. maybe some dope. I haven't had a serious smoke dope, eat everything in sight, download all sorts of shit from audiogalaxy, porn-watching binge in awhile........

well, still havent taken the union suit off - lets see if I get too sweaty running around town today doing errands - a bunch of packages for the post office - 4 various porno-related items, one Frampton poster (dont ask, but yes, I agree, that's obscene!). HMV to see if the bjork dvd-single is there, bank for deposting money (yeah, 28 dollars - woo-hoo!)

oh yeah, and thanks to all you folks who sent in entries for the cockring contest, er Theatre Poster contest; a few of them had me on the floor laughing "I don't know much about Theatre, but the font on the top left hand corner was only used from 1974-76 for Joan Plowright productions, and she only worked with John so-and-so.........." anyway, I'll be checking them all and posting the winner (if he doesnt mind) Friday night/early Sat morning. I guess I should make it official, entries must be sent by noonish Friday ....blah blah

gosh, I don't think I will ever take this thing off, all-cotton, comfy, perfect for stuffing my face and watching porn all day.............but..........does it make my skin look blue?

if you really love me, you'll buy me this

CONTEST

hmmm, not sure if something is wrong with my email program, or if there are no people reading this page who know/like Theatre (hint: British, 70's), or if no one wants a free cockring.

The idea last week was whoever guessed the most Theatre Posters in this pic would get a free, NEW, UNUSED leather snap cockring. I swear, it's still in the baggy, untouched, don't be afraid to enter! Or even if you don't want it, or haven't a clue what the posters say, Email Me anyway, just so I can check if the email program is working - but seriously, only ONE ENTRY has come in , with ONE CORRECT guess - so, by Friday, I'm shipping this thing out to someone - why not you?

Meanwhile, today I'm watching porn, and lots of it. I wanna post a bunch of auctions today, and I kinda wanna lay low, after hearing way too many insane theories about yesterday's crash (one guy told me that it must be terrorists, since they knew on this plane, it would be all Dominicans, and they don't have cell phones........ at that point I stopped listening, and turned up the volume on the discman).... it's very sad, and I don't wanna come off like an a-hole, so I won't comment on some of the stuff I'm reading/hearing in various places, we're all entitled to our opinions and reactions, so, mine will be kept to myself. Let me just do the laundry (that red, all-cotton Union Suit I bought on eBay arrived today) - once it's washed, I'm staying put, drinking lots of coffee and having several "private moments" with the help of Lee Ryder in Sticky Business, Al Parker in Timber Wolves, Frank Parker in Biker Pigs From Hell, Jon King in The Best of Jon King and maybe even a "blond" like Leo Ford in The Summer of Scott Noll.

...gosh, I hate those restless nights, where I keep waking up every 20 minutes, checking CNN, then looking in the fridge for chocolate, then crawling back in bed; waking again, check CNN, nab a few pics of video boxes for my porno auctions from the internet, have some ginger ale, crawl back into bed; wake up , check for chocolate in the kitchen cabinets, check CNN, drag the blanket onto the couch, fall back asleep; wake up, check the news online - Pack-It Jeans making a come-back, check desk drawer for chocolate, check CNN, they're giving more time to the Afghanis shaving their beards off than to the revenge killings of 100's....... oh, I'm sure I must be sleeping again already.....

i can't believe this

oooooooooooooooooh

I am sooooooooooo high!

spent the afternoon at this fund-raising benefit (is that redundant?) for Gay Men's Chorus, over in the West Village called "Porn Again" - basically, the members of the group (plus some donations, I think) threw together their unused porn to sell off. Well, hoping there might be a few good things there, I got there soon after it began, and scoped the place out rather quickly. Free snacks? Later! Scoped out the various tables, and made a bee-line to the cheap table. Finally, my years of "studying" are paying off, I could recognize titles with no boxes so fast (Score - Joey Stefano, director Chi Chi Larue, 1990, grab it, Joey takes a nice facial in this one) El Paso - hmmm, old label, might be the "good" unbutchered version, Grab it. Bullet Pac#2, might have Bruno (it did!! yeah!) Grab it. Colt - those sell, grab 'em. I even ran into a neighbor, we chatted briefly, but I had to tell him I was focused on this; fortunately, he's a member of the Chorus, so he was happy I would be spending money. Sizing Up - isn't that Matt Sterling's 1984 film with Matt Ramsey (you younger folks might know him as Peter North)? grab it!! I was fairly aggressive, the browsers got the idea that I was serious, and stood out of the way. Ranger in the WIld (hmmm, not to be confused with Al Parker's Rangers, but still Daryl Brock, Max Grande!), The Big One - music by Costello Presley; Best of Jon King, Summer of Scott Noll, Bijou? Wakefield Poole's second film, from 1972, with an original video label? cool; no, I grabbed it first, get out of my way --grrrrrrrrrr!

Anyway, being one of the first 100 to arrive, they also threw in 2 bonus videos - I barely made it home on my bike with over 30 videos and a few magazines. I went back - mostly cuz I figured I could use a beer, relax, and actually SPEAK to my neighbor, who's a cutie - but I didn't want to stay with all my porn and worry about it after drinking. Someone even tried to buy El Paso from me as I was checking out. Grrrrrrrrrrr. back off!!! (no, I was nice, I started to explain why it might be valuable, the homophobe getting tossed thru the bar window scene isn't in the more recent copies, and he sorta got bored and walked away, but 3 other people were impressed!). I had Pretenders first album on the discman, porn in a big shopping bag, and stuffed into my backpack - great ride home! I quickly checked that it IS the old El Paso, and then I headed back. Actually found 2 more decent tapes, including another Colt - this one..................wooooh!! Al Parker and Mike Davis in "Timber Wolves" plus Johnny Harden (this is a "keeper"!) And they even gave a bonus video to everyone when it was time to leave - The Road Home, which I have a dupe of, and I know it's good - Todd Gibbs, totally not my type in theory (smooth, blondish-red) but baby! what a body - oh shit! this is the one with Ryan Idol as a priest who jacks off while listening to confession!

Think I'll be very busy for a few days, hehe.

i don't go out on Saturday nights. I joke that it's "amateur night" but mostly I don't care for the crowds of drunk people roaming the streets, looking for more entertainment, more alcohol, more drugs. But waiting outside for a performance to start, something I wanted to see mostly to force myself to "get out there" I realized it also has a lot to do with how I'd pretty much gotten used to being part of a couple - up until 2-1/2 years ago, I pretty much had a boyfriend ( 3 different "main" ones) for the previous 16 years I've lived here. So, of course, Saturdays were mostly taken. Sundays were the night to go out, often by myself. Anyway, stuffing this slice of pizza down my piehole (gosh, is that really a term people use?), knowing that it's usually a whole pizza, by myself on a Saturday night, I still wasn't comfortable being out. Ugh, I just feel too self-concious by myself on Saturday nights. But I figured I could get away with going to see a silly performance, and have some laughs while slouching in a dark corner.

The venue was small, cozy, and I guess I had like 1/2 a minute to find a seat, according to the guy at the door. The show started pretty quickly, a one-man thing, and I tried to get a groove in the plastic chair for my ass to get comfortable in. I know I should be writing about the show, how good it was, or some "critque" - but I first noticed hairy forearms. Beautiful hairy forearms. And his face was even cuter than the pics I had seen on the webpage, so I had to struggle a bit not to just zone out and smile to myself while stairing at this cute, expressive face up there (and the eyebrows! when he'd scrunch up his face, they'd go all slanty and lickable....). But it started pretty relaxed, some silly "hey you doing out there - woo-hoos" and shit. And then the storytelling. I expected silly filthy stuff, and I got silly filthy stuff (yeah the buttmunching, tongue-flicking thing, plus a bunch more); I even found myself stifling my laugh, as I can get kinda loud, and in a small room, well, I just don't like to get noticed. So, he's describing this lockerroomsex scene, very very funny, and his facial expressions and body language are both hysterical, and yet rather adorable. I'm pulled in, kinda relating to the silliness of having to perform (the sexscene) while your mind is thinking about all this other stuff, so I'm nodding, and laughing in recognition, and then....... I dunno, it shifted suddenly, and quietly, and quite unexpectantly.

You ever watch a movie, and it's one of those intense close-ups at a difficult moment, so you only look like halfway at the screen? You are completely pulled in, but you feel this need to give the person some privacy, so you can't stop watching, but you can't watch head-on? And it wasn't anything earth-shattering, mind you, it just felt very personal, and he his voice was quiet, and slow, and measured, just enough for you to feel it, and recognize it in yourself, and have your heart slow down, and race, simultaneously. The experience of an unexpected "hot sex scene" where you try to go with it, and then you try to make it intimate, and you are being intimate, and yet the other guy, well, isn't?

Well, that's probably very vague, but I guess what makes something "art" is that it gets at you, regardless of your ability to explain how it got to you. I'm sure it could use some tightening up, and someone could figure out a better way for this part or that part to go here or there; maybe it was just the intimacy of the venue, or my frame of mind, wanting the laughs, surprised and moved by the "more"; maybe just my mind wondering through all my own shit while viewing hairy forearms, cute mouth, someone very comfortable with his body; maybe it was just a good show.