Way to go, mayor Gavin Newsom!!

Someday we'll outnumber you and you'll be the abnormal ones...

Ahhhh, if only. I managed to find a 2nd copy of this book, so am selling one on eBay (click pic to go to auction). It's amusing (not) how the prediction that the homosexuals would wind up outnumbering the str8's hasn't yet materialized. In fact, I think we've gone from 1 in 6 to 1 in 10 down to about 1 in 25, depending on who you believe. Best part fo the book, as is usual with this sort of literature, is the artwork. At first I only noticed how the one guy was lavendar-hued on the front cover; then, when readying it for auction, I realized that on the back, 5 of the 6 men are lavendar.

On a slightly related topic, I happened to be channel surfing last night, and stumbled upon C-SPAN's coverage of the Massachusetts's Constitutional Convention (yes, C-SPAN is on my list of favorite channels). Sometime around 7:30/8pm, a Republican man was explaining the compromise amendment, defining marriage as one man + one woman, but included a parallel provision for Civil Unions. And some discussion on giving the citizenry a chance to vote/participate, not leaving a group of citizens out (gays) when it comes to the protections of the law, etc etc. It was actually rather sensible, and reasonable. I started to think, if the law would be identical protections/resposibilities, why fight over the word? And then next came up a Democrat, self-described practicing Catholic, named David Magnani. Immediately my guard went up, expecting some lecture about sanctity of marriage, or whatever. Much to my surprise, it was an eloquent plea not to amend their constitution and take away rights from a group of citizens. I wish I could find the full text of it, as he described his struggle with the issue, his faith, his role as a legislator. I was moved to tears, in fact. Perhaps because my own prejudices about what a straight Catholic man would believe, I was caught off guard by his well-reasoned argument about the seriousness of the moment, the important issues at stake, and his role in insuring "the greatest good for the greatest number of people." I was glued to my television, suddenly feeling this optimism about government, and straight people, and the future.

A few speakers later was a legislator who happened to be lesbian. I don't want to put her down, but I have to say she bored me to death. She did say at the onset that she wasn't a great public speaker, and out of some sort of guilt I felt I had to listen. She droned on and on, things I've heard before, health insurance, visitation in hospital, etc., etc., nothing new, poorly articulated, but she continued on. She finished up, thanking the chamber for its time and attention, and there was a good amount of cheering from unseen people. And maybe some of you know how C-SPAN works. Pretty much a one or two camera operation; one focused on the podium for close-ups, and one long shot showing the front of the room. Now we have the long shot as she leaves the podium, and about 15-20 of her fellow legislators line up to hug and congratulate her. That's when I got it -- it sounds like a mantra, but its true: visibility. We have to be out, we have to be open about who we are, and we have to show that we are everywhere. Clearly Mr. Magnani has experienced this, and couldn't in good conscience find any legitimate reason for calling a marriage between two gay people anything other than marriage.

What is the point of having a cellphone, and waiting an hour after an appointment to call and say "gee, I'm running late"? You see, at 3pm, while you were having make-up sex with your ex-boyfriend, or chatting with another potential roommate in more-fashionable Chelsea, or whatever-the-fuck you were doing - you already knew you couldn't be here for your 3pm appointment. That's when you call and say you're running late. But hell, its 4pm, why not try.

So I get the call, accept his apology, he still wants to see the place, and I ask what his schedule is like for the rest of the afternoon. "I'm 10 minutes away." OK, fine, see you in 10 minutes. So I get back to the computer instant-messaging with a pal. 15 minutes later I'm thinking, this sucks, I hate waiting; but hell, don't get all worked up, its only 5 minutes (more) late. My pal jokes with me about how the guy should blow me if he wants the share, blah blah. 20 minutes. C'mon - the guy says he's lived in the East Village for 4 years, he can't be lost! 30 minutes. I tell my pal I gotta run to the post office, I'll talk to him later. I dress, turn the computer off, go downstairs, hop on the bike and head down the road. I spot a gay-looking stranger turning the corner from Avenue C on to my block - but I keep going. At the post office, I wait in line for a package, then head back home. Yup, waiting outside is the same guy I spotted. As my bike hops up on the curb, passing him, he addresses me. I continue, lock up my bike, and walk back over to him. He introduces himself, and I say "sorry, pal, not gonna work - I waited another 30 minutes for you; not twice in one day - not gonna work." He attempts another apology, I turn to unlock the front door, he says he understands (yeah, right), and I go inside, alone.

And to my pal I was instant-messaging to: nope, a blowjob from that guy wouldn't have helped.

roommate interviewing begins today. In fact, the token str8 interviewee just left (i specified a preference for a gay male roommate, but he seemed nice on the phone). Actually, he seemed like someone I could live with, and he's familiar with the city and the neighborhood. Two more scheduled for today, and a few tomorrow. Wish me luck.

OK, who says you can't sell used underwear on eBay anymore?

• worn stinky used thrashed mens boxers
• Torn Stained & Faded Blk Chereskin Med Briefs
• MEN'S COTTON BRIEFS [2pair]
• DIESEL vintage M pouch BREIFS gay WORN
• realistic molded basket enhancer
• 19 year old boy's worn boxers
• Undergear Prevail Sport Gray Posing Sling
• U.S. Navy Blue Go Softwear Jock Gay Int
• Camouflage Mesh G-String *See Thru*

Ok - so maybe they weren't all used, but.....

This is what happens when you buy clothes you don't really need, then grow out of them (i.e gain weight only around the waist) before you ever take them out of the packaging - blue plaid - olive green plaid, boxer shorts on eBay. And another pornopic - JOE PORCELLI.

Some (more) pics from current eBay auctions - which means the pic-links will be gone within a few days - Ed Wiley - Nick Fabrini - Neal Shaw - Tony Bravo ....... more to come

Birthday In Jail

Matthew Limon "celebrates" his 22nd birthday today, in a Kansas jail. He has served 4 years of his 17-year sentence, and it looks likely that he may not see freedom until 2017, after he turns 35. I just can't imagine that! I can't imagine what the past year of his life has been like; that glimmer of hope when it looked like the Supreme Court was going to look at his case; then actually vacating the decision and remanding it back to the Kansas Courts this past summer. Finally getting the chance to imagine what his young adulthood might be like. Waiting all summer and fall for the painfully slow legal process to take its course. The optimistic press reports after the oral arguments in December. Then bam! The constitutionality of the Kansas law that treats heterosexual and homosexual sexcrimes differently upheld!

How did Mr. Limon take the news? What was it like for his lawyers to break it to him? What have those long nights alone in a jail cell been like, the hope that it might be over soon gone, vanished? How do you explain to a young man that he must stay in prison for another 13 years, that he will be 35 years old before he will be able to begin his life? How do you console a young man who during his sentencing hearing 3-1/2 years ago admitted to thinking about suicide many times while in the county jail awaiting the sentencing decision?

I've read that damn case a number of times in the past 10 days since the decision has been handed down. I've tried to analyze it, see what went wrong, figure it out. But each time I stop. This is not some college assignment, this is a real person who's life has been robbed. Regardless of how one feels about sex between an 18-year-old and a 14-year old (the complicating factors of each young man's mental capacity is sort of a "wash" as each had been determined to be about 6th grade in terms of emotional development), it boggles the mind that anyone can think that lengthy jail time is the answer. Even young Limon has actually managed to convince himself that he's a bad person, deserving punishment, and he begged for help to change at his sentencing hearing.

When I turned 22, I was a senior in college, having just heard that I had a job waiting for me in New York upon graduation. I didn't have specific plans of what I wanted to do with my life - generic bachelor's degree, job in a Midtown office. But it was my life, waiting to be lived, experienced, make mistakes - meet new people, fall in love several times, move a dozen times around the city. Horrible tragedies, great disappointments - all that - but it was mine to figure out for myself. I was free to discover the harsh limitations of life, but also to stumble upon the beautiful reasons why it is so precious, so amazing. We should be outraged each and every time that it is taken from someone. This past year I've had numerous discussions with friends and acquaintances about gay marriage, gay adoption - the inequality, the unfairness, the hopes, the worries. And I wouldn't want to choose only one area where the pain is so overwhelming, so unfair to anyone else; but freedom - being able to wake up each day and decide for oneself what he or she wants to do - isn't that the barest minimum of fairness? Whether its your crappy job, your awful school, looking at your miserable life partner - that's for you to decide. But the State - the government, taking away your basic freedom for 17 years rather than 15 months, merely because your sexcrime was with the same, rather than opposite, gender - how does one make sense out of that?

Well, the roommate search is on. Just as I was typing up the description, I realized that last time I looked for a roommate in February, I only got about 6 solid responses (if someone doesn't know where the Lower East Side is, I'm not gonna bother with the description of my dead-end street, surrounded by public housing - it's a waste of both of our time). Alas, it's been a good 24 hours since I posted on Craigslist, and only 4 replies ( I don't count the email suggesting I try another free service). Well, if I don't find anyone by the end of the month, I'll just have to hang around Times Square handing out flyers offering cheap downtown accomodations ($5.00 discount if you let me blow you).

Subj: KC Trucking?
Date: 1/21/04 2:59:15 AM Eastern Standard Time
To: bjland7820

Hello.

I ran across your site a while back when I was looking for info on why the VHS copy of El Paso Wrecking I bought was so chopped up, missing roughly a third of the stated "90 minute" length.

The good news is that a friend of a co-worker turns out to have a copy -- on Betamax, no less! -- of the full original film. Fortunately I'm one of the OTHER few remaining Beta lunatics, and I've been able to do a transfer to DVD for both of us.

The question I have is that your GAGETAPE page states that you're going to compare the Gagetape version of KC Trucking to the currently available version, but apparently you either never got around to comparing them or never posted the results. The reason I'm asking is that after he lent me the copy of EPW, he found his Beta copy of KCT, and I'm wondering if I should bother-- if there's nothing missing in the current release, why spend the time doing the transfer myself.

--- George

I responded that I think the videotapes are all the same, that I have seen 65-70 minutes, but never saw any real differences among them. But added that I hear that the orginal film had a brief watersports scene, but had never made it to videotape. So then he wrote back that he got curious, he timed it at 66 minutes; BUT - he watched it, and saw the brief watersports scene! This made him wonder if perhaps something else was missing if he had the w/s scene on his version. Meanwhile he offerred to make a dvd copy for me. Then, while doing the transfer, he decided to send me the 1 minute, 20 second clip!

Woo-Hoo, right? Meanwhile, I'm wondering , let's look at my copies and see the timings on each. I have 4 copies (hey, ya never know - one could break), and timed them each at 65:00, 65:15, 65:15, and 66:30. The first 3 were HIS/VCA (including one GAGETAPE) - but the last one was released by "Select Video" I bought it on eBay some months ago (maybe even a year) but was disappointed that it didn't seem different. Guess what I found during the finale orgy scene? YUP - the watersports scene is in there! And I was considering selling off that copy, since I had too many of the same thing!

If you look at BIJOU - they have a good write-up of the film (they have it on special) and they mention that one reason some of the tapes are choppy, is that different distributors/ movie houses edited the film --- and when it went to video - and this is the part I fill in knowing what I know - Select Video must've just gotten a hold of a movie house version, and didn't edit out the w/s scene!

KANSAS CITY TRUCKING CO.

Directed by Joe Gage.
Starring Jack Wrangler, Steve Boyd, Richard Locke, Duff Paxton, Kurt Williams, Dane Tremmell, Skip Shepherd, Bud Jaspar, and Maria Reina.

I've included a bit of the scene prior to the Jack Wrangler/Richard Locke piss scene to give it more context, to show the contrast in sound and editing style. How cool is it to see Locke's piss hitting Wranglers cock?!!??

Some pics from current eBay auctions - which means the pic-links will be gone within a few days - Giorgio Canali (mmmmmm), Rick Draper (kinda young and blonde, but he'll do), and Nick Rodgers (you may remember him from such films as Hot Truckin', The Idol, Grease Monkeys, Al Parker's Rangers, and several Colt/Target films).

Super Bowl Death

How many hours are still being spent at watercoolers, in bars, in weblogs and on the news over JacksonsBoobExposure? Compare that to the coverage of the "celebration" - "the crowds, most of them students, overturned cars, broke windows and set fires" where a 21-year-old man was killed. KILLED! And the investigation is going to be over the horror of the world being subjected to a glimpse of a body part, and not over the Boston Police passively watching the rioting (oh, sorry, they call it "celebrating" up there)! I don't even know how to put into words how troubling this is. When the topic came up at work last night (the boob) and I asked my co-worker if she knew how many people died after the Game, first she thought I was joking, then I got the look - the "you grumpy old man always seeing the negative" look.

The outcome of all this? Miss Jackson gets the much-needed publicity for her new record, CBS continues to do even less critical coverage of the Bush administration and the rest of the Rebulican party, and a family in Boston quietly mourns the loss of a young man.

........I know, I know, just cuz I'm in a foul mood doesn't mean I shouldn't be trying to share interesting porno tidbits. I'm not even going to be tacky and link to the ALL ABOUT BALLS magazine auction, or even complain that I wish I could afford to keep this, and some other cool magazine auctions I'm posting over the next few days. I'm just gonna shut up and give you the pic-link to Cowboy Balls.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

......... still obsessing about Friday's Limon decision. And I was just in the middle of trying to put into words something about why this bothers me so much, why this is so awful. But the luxury of worrying about the outside world stopped as I picked up the phone. No, nothing horrible. My roommate had told me over a week ago that he was moving out, he gave me plenty of notice (end of Feb). But the friend I had lined up to move in called and said he's got good news for himself - he's able to stay put where he is. I was not only looking forward to the fun of living together with someone I like and know I'd get along with, but I was also so happy about not having to go through the awful advertising, interviewing, cleaning, preparing, etc., for a new person in my home. Ugh. Double fucking ugh.

I hope someone will clean up the mess when my head explodes.

alarming, yet rational

The ACLU intends to appeal this morning's State v. Limon decision. If you don't have the time or patience to read the full decision (but you ought to, as the 3 opinions demonstrate 3 clearly different views on the role of the Courts) click on the ACLU press release above. The concurring opinion almost made me as angry as Green's opinion. Malone's was pretty close to the Clarence Thomas opinion in Lawrence - "sheesh, that law does suck, but what are WE supposed to do about it?") I mean, check this out "In Limon's case, the sentencing disparity between a conviction of sodomy and a conviction under 21-3522 is alarming. However, this reflects a problem with our state's sentencing guidelines rather than implicating the constitutionality of the statute. The legislature can address the inequity suffered by Limon and others in his position without this court declaring the present statute unconstitutional." Translation: Not my job.

Any first year law student knows it's an uphill battle when dealing with "rational basis" reasoning - a court can basically pull anything out of its ass and call it "rational" as long as it doesn't sound utterly ridiculous (this is called giving deference to the democratically-elected legislatures - wouldn't want any activist judges telling us to treat queers fairly, now would we?) -- which makes me wonder why everyone was so optimistic about this case.

And you know what else is scarey? Get to the bottom of Green's opinion, the Remedy section - here he states "even if the statute were declared unconstitutional, the proper remedy would be to strike down the entire statute." In other words, fairness would've dictated that if they found the law unconstitutional, they'd get rid of the Romeo and Juliet law in its entirety, keep the kid in jail for 17 years, rather than apply it equally to hetero- and homo-sexual acts, and let the poor kid out of jail!

getting angry yet?

Kansas can punish someone more harshly for having sex with a minor if the minor is of the same sex, the state Court of Appeals ruled today. - Matthew Limon stays in jail! As the court ruled, "the Legislature could have rationally determined that heterosexual sodomy between a child and an adult could be put in a class by itself and be dealt with differently than homosexual sodomy between a child an adult." I guess I'll be reading State v. Limon to see how, in God's name, they rationalized this decision after the Supreme Court "vacated the judgment" last June. What was the point of vacating if he's stuck with the same, ridiculous, 17-year sentence for a consensual blowjob?

Who is Craig Esposito?

Apparently he's one of the few guys who seems to be allowed to sign his artwork for these pornobooks I like to buy, sell, and collect. I just found a couple of links, Who is Craig Esposito? (which has several hot drawings) and Jocko (which apparently is one of his locker room themed comics). Scroll down to last Thursday's entry for another pornobook cover. Enjoy!

Here's Luke Bender, sometimes known as Steve Kennedy, star of such adult movies as Lunch Hour (mmmm, with Lon Flexx!), The River, Deep: In Hot Water, Carnival Tails, and Sex, Lies & Video Cassettes. This is one of those images I can't use in my eBay auctions - see, he's holding his stuff, which means it's sex - if he just had his hand say, on his side, it would be ok (that would be art). Oh, for those interested, here's the link to the eBay auction for INCHES magazine.

Hey, check out this feature story on Matthew Limon, from Kansas City's The Pitch. While not an update, it's an excellent article with lots of good background info on the case, as well as on Mr. Limon and his family. This article didn't pop up during my usual Google searches for info on Limon this weekend, but rather I was fortunate enough to have the link sent to me by Kansas City resident Bill.

Woo-Hoo! I got my red star!

Have I mentioned that I haven't had sex in 3 weeks? Thursday night, January 1st was the last time, and I haven't a clue who it was with. Yes, sexclub action. I think if I strained my brain, I might be able to recall the details, but I'm not gonna try. Normally, I'd be complaining, but I haven't really been in the mood for that scene, or any sex thing since then. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I don't want sex; but I don't want to put any effort into it for the time being. Believe me, if BurritoMan ever materialized again (it's been 18 days since I've seen him at the restaurant, not that I'm counting...) or TacoMan (another cutie, who may or may not be gay, and who has indicated NO INTEREST in me, but ever since that time he came into the takeout side to pick up his order, and had obviously been running, or doing something physical and was sweating - when he reached up, and the fragrance from under his arm floated into my face, I got so stoned from his aroma - I was in heaven!) - if one of these fellows, or someone new made some effort in my direction, sure, I'd be up for it (so to speak).

And it's been over 3 weeks since I've had alcohol, smoked dope, worn a jockstrap, poked my screen name into a chatroom, gone to the CRUISTOOL site, been to a bar, or anything else remotely socio-sexual. Even whacking off took a downturn (but no, it hasn't left my diet entirely; it would be a shame to waste these full, heavy balls and thick manmeat, don't you think?) since the first of the year. I guess I'm just hibernating.

These are just some stills from these "amateur" videos by Bobby Garcia. His work is sort of in the lines of Old Reliable and Dirk Yates - that west coast give a str8 guy a beer and a few bucks and he'll whack it for ya genre. Doesn't really work for me, but it's still fascinating to watch these. Some say Garcia only released these for commerical use when he needed some dough for legal fees when the Marines went after him; otherwise they were made just for his personal enjoyment. He's often in the frame, either just walking past the guy(s) to get to the bathroom, or to wipe up a mess on a guy's stomach, and yes, he does try to get some of the action, when he can coax them into it (that's his ass in the last frame). Sometimes you can even hear him off-camera on the phone, while the camera is rolling and some guy is trying to get hard and do his jack-off scene! I hope to post the 2 tapes I have on eBay this weekend.

I know, I know, I shouldn't judge a book by it's cover - but it's gonna be hard!

I'd buy that for a dollar!

Ignore the man to the right. He has nothing to do with this post.

While most of the stuff I sell on eBay is gay male porn, I do, on occasion, sell some non-male stuff - like this lovely book: Up Hers.

From the introduction: "Up Hers is one of the frankest and most detailed descriptions of the most vicious perversions of them all - sodomy and lesbianism. Although the subject matter of this novel is unusually sensationial, the reader should be advised that this perverse abnormality is, along with many other unusual deviations, far more common than he might imagine."

For those of you who are not eBay members, but you're curious what naked ladies look like, here's a peek from this 1970 Neptune Reader book.

I doubt any of my neighbors read this page. But just in case I want to apologize for yelling loudly at 1:30 in the morning at the TV set FUCK YOU and FUCK YOUR FUCKIN' SANCITY OF MARRIAGE YOU MUTHER FUCKER!

By the way, dude, any news on Osama?

I'm just watching the speech now, but he just said "The terrorists continue to plot against America and the civilized world." Doesn't he mean America and the rest of the civilized world?

So I decided to treat myself to a trip to the barbershop. Haven't been there in close to a year, doing my own beard and head trimming at home. But I just wanted that bit of attention, despite knowing I might regret having them have a go at my facial hair. He cut way too much off the beard, and not enough off the head; but it doesn't look bad, just not what I wanted. I feel like I lost 2 pounds, and I certainly lost a couple inches from what was only 2 days ago something full and fuzzy to yank on (not that anyone but me was doing the yanking, mind you).

I think I started writing this about 10 days ago, but my interest in porn and sex has plummeted greatly (egads!) of late. I had just gotten back from the post office, having shipped off some porn, and having picked up my mail which consisted of some auction payments and 3 packages. The unexpected-looking package I opened first, as I was most curious about it. A package of porno from MSR Videos! Quickly I realized that it was a package from Joe Gage. Yes, the Joe Gage!! Let me back track just a bit. The Sunday prior I got an email from him. Now, it might surprise you that even though he got back in the business maybe 2 years ago, and I've had a webpage of one form or another dedicated to him for over 3 years, I've never tried to get in contact with him. I've helped other folks who wanted to, suggesting they go thru MSR who he now has a contract with. But I guess I am just a bit too shy, and well, I kinda liked the idea of admiring the work itself, and doing tidbits of research on my own on the old films that I love so much. And I've been lucky that a few others from the 70's porno business have contacted me, some I've mentioned here, some who preferred to keep it private, but who were sweet enough to share bits of info on their work so I could incorporate it into the webpages (which, by the way, are in desperate need of updating/revising). Anyway, his email to me was just fantastic - it totally made my day and lifted my spirits. I think we've written each other twice since then. Anyway, he mentioned that if I hadn't seen his recent stuff, I should - then asked for an address to send me some! WOO-HOO! The timing was perfect, as I had just read a really good article on Tulsa County Line, not to mention a very good pal of mine pleading with me to finally see the movie (I've been very worried that I'd be very disappointed; on video as opposed to film, the commercial demands of using modern pornSTARS, etc., etc.) - I even mentioned that to him in my response.

Anyway, so the package comes, and there's 3 tapes from the SEX FILES series, plus CLOSED SET: THE NEW CREW. The press releases in the package mentioned that the 3rd in the Sex Files takes place in North Carolina (GAGE: "When I kept hearing that the leafy, laid-back university town of Durham, North Carolina was a hotbed of behind-the-closed-doors sexual shenanigans, I just had to investigate."); and since I know a few bloggers down there, why not start with this one, and I popped it in the VCR. Now, I've just finished watching the first 45-minutes, forcing myself away from the tape, hoping to jot down some fresh notes, not to mention getting some chores done around here, with the "carrot" of knowing I have good porno to return to when I finish.

What sticks out most in distinguishing this from other modern porno - the use of sound; the use of porn expectations with some twists; and perhaps most important, in the "Gage tradition" - voyeurism - the clear understanding that this is a visual medium, and that men - gay, bi, straight, curious, whatever, get off on WATCHING.

Sound. There is very little dialogue. Just enough to move the "plot" ("I hear you have a big one, can i see?") But background noise is important to give it some feeling of authenticity, this sex is really happening, it's really spontaneous. So, in the first two scenes I watched, no disco music as the sex starts; but rather a football game in the background (if you're really paying attention, you'd notice that thankfully there are no commercials, just the seductive sounds of a game on the TV - which he's used before in HANDsome, if I remember correctly). While of course few people in porn can act, so it's smart to minimize the need for acting, trying to recite scripted dialogue, it actually works here, as the scenario is two guys who are unsure of the actual sexual interest of the other, so they move slowly, cautiously from the showing each other their dicks stage, to the touching each other's dicks stage, to the you can't stand it anymore will someone please suck that big wanger stage.

Expectations. The first scenario is two young college guys, and one remarks to the other "I hear you have a big one." Of course, this is porn, we know we're going to see it, we know there's gonna be sex. But he stretches it out to the point where you are screaming TOUCH IT, it IS big! and then SLURP IT, it IS big!; he manages to build the sexual tension, where you see the "curious" guy can't stand it anymore, and goes for the big cock. Eventually, he even asks the big-dicked guy if he can "do himself" - which he readily admits to, and demonstrates. While we all seem to dig the IDEA of self-sucking, in reality, it ain't really that sexy. No one can actually really go that far down on it, and their bodies get all distorted to the point of not looking that great, ya know. But here it's used well, which leads me to the next point.

Voyeurism. This, in my humble opinion, is THE great Joe Gage theme. Try to name a Joe Gage film that doesn't involve someone watching someone else having sex - yes, other directors use this, but Gage always does it, and always succeeds in making it hot. (Probably the most talked about Joe Gage scene is the El Paso Wrecking scene of Mike Morris and his "son" Jared Benson - most people remember this as an incest scen - but it's not! Morris (Dad) merely watches Benson (son) having sex with Fred Halsted, which of course turns Halsted on to no end, and of course us, watching Morris whack off watching his son give head to another man - but once again, I digress) The self-sucking is used well to get the "curious" guy really turned on; he's watching up close, and at points can't handle just watching, and has to get in there himself, as well. And of course, we the viewer, get a great view of two mouths on one hot cock. So it's not just us watching, but us watching the other guy watching the self-suck.

And the next scene also demonstrates the same three points well - sound is a minimum, almost all of the action has no dialogue, no actual words, just slurping and moaning (again, these guys are better at having sex than talking about it, so don't ruin it by trying to make them act). Here we start off with some older (40's or 50's) professor type stumbling upon a napping college student. We all know what this leads to - groping, jerking, and the inevitable blowjob while the kid is still sleeping. The professor has a great, expressive face - he's clearly enjoying what he's doing, while all the while looking around the room to make sure no one comes in (of course, it doesn't stop him when they do, he just gets more excited, which gets us more excited at his boldness). Now, the expectation is that at some point the kid just has to wake up, right? How long can you lie on a couch getting a blow job and stay asleep? So with this expectation in mind - what happens when he wakes? And it takes a while for this kid to wake up - his cock is pulled out; his shorts are removed, he's stroked; his pants are pulled down, he's getting blown; and two other young men enter the room, the whole while this kid is sleeping and you are giggling and the absurdity of him still sleeping - except - the payoff! Well, the moment he wakes is the moment he cums, and the look on his face as he wakes, sees the professor down in his lap and his spooge flying out simultaneously is amazing - I'm not exaggerating! And the voyeurism theme had already kicked in - just as the professor has started the blow job, one student, and a few minutes later, another comes into the room. They watch silently as the professor gets more into it. Of course they have to start stroking their own crotches, eventually pulling their cocks out, keeping their eyes on the professor, as well as each other and each inching closer to the professor, and each other, as the scene builds) - so we have these different levels of watching - the two "observers" watching the blowjob, and each other, the professor watching the guys watch him, and getting increasingly turned-on by having this chance to show off, and of course us, the guys who bought, rented, or got comped the videotape!

When you see me laughing, baby,
I’m laughing just to keep from crying.

I think it's safe to post this clip now, but just for today.

Meanwhile, after about 10 days of attempting to find this mp3, I finally did - Marianne Faithfull's awesome version of Trouble In Mind. I think the reason I love her version so much is that even though she sings the line - "I'm blue, but I won’t be blue always" - she sounds far from convincing.

The other night, sorta mindlessly watching TV, I noticed this TV news guy who looked kinda cute. You know, in that sorta preppy, sorta intelligent, let's-get-him-out-of-that-tie kinda cute, ya know? But there was something oddly familiar about his face. While he was talking, I kept staring and staring until I realized --- where-the-fuck did those eyebrows come from? They looked like someone in the make-up dept just glued them on the guy's face! And then it hit me - he's the grown-up version of Milhouse!

oh yeah, anyone looking for a VHS copy of HEATSTROKE (it hasn't been released on DVD yet, even though it would be FANTASTIC to have it with good quality sound, eh?) ---- please please please don't pay more than 20 bucks for it! I'm not saying its not worth it, but hell, Gage doesn't get a nickel off it anymore, and its very very easy to find online for closer to 15 bucks, not to mention its on eBay all the time. I have 2 or 3 copies (maybe 4) - cuz you gotta have back up, right?

(this is not an endorsement - I'll wait til I see them all shirtless)

note: HOW em-BARE-ASS-ing! Looks like Adam had this one days ago! I swear, I searched GOOGLE this morning for "HOWARD DEAN PORN" and I guess they just hadn't crawled Adam yet. (Er, his website - you know what I mean)

I'd love to have this book - Queer Daddy - of course, I'd also love to be the seller getting that kind of dough for it!

Rats! Sorry folks, had to take the clip down. I know the interent rule about "no linkage is bad linkage" - but when one of the commerical sites links to your video clip, you know you can't afford the bandwidth! I'll try to reconfigure it, so feel free to email for the new link (just don't tell anyone!)

HEATSTROKE

"Sorry, membership's full."

directed by: Joe Gage (1982)

Starring: Roy Garrett, Casey Donovan, Richard Locke, Clay Russell, Clinton Coe, Bud Wallace, John Steele, Richard West, and of course, The Gage Men.

My all-time favorite gay porno movie, I watched Heatstroke last Thursday night, as well as earlier today. I was gonna post that great Casey Donovan orgy/fantasy sequence with the hot, filthy monologue, but I decided to go with this scene instead. If you've been taking notes, you'll remember that in both El Paso Wrecking Corp. and L.A. Tool & Die, there's a brief scene where one of the lead character's takes on a homophobe (Halsted throws one through a window; Locke engages in a playful fist fight). In each of those, a straight guy is in a gay bar, but feels quite free to put down the queers around him. In Heatstroke, the setting is again a "gay space" but the problem isn't a str8 man, but rather, the door policy at a sex club. You know, "no fats, no fems," etc. I think it's a great sequence, with cute lil' Bob Shane as the clerk who won't let over-the-hill John Steele into the club. Rejected and dejected, Steele slowly leaves, but is joined by another rejectee, Bud Wallace (too preppy). A brief commerseration leads to, of course, hot sex! What grabs me is that not only does Gage throw in the social commentary on the emerging gay scene of the early 80's, but unlike some of his other sequences, this one isn't just a couple of guys helping each other get off, this one has real passion, including a good deal of kissing that is sometimes missing from other scenes (usually related to the specifics of the sex dynamics of the particular scene). Maybe the men are free to kiss as it's quite clear from the setting that both are gay; maybe each needs to "prove" how hot he is, to himself or his partner; or maybe the common bond of not fitting in, which you'd hope wouldn't be the case at a gay club, allows them to let loose; or maybe the two actors just were really attracted to each other, and the director was smart enough to take advantage of that - in any case, it works for me.

There's a lot more about this film that I love, like the scene where Richard Locke meets his girlfriend's ex-boyfriend, Clay Russell. Clay tries to convince Richard to have sex, which of course he does, but not before Richard remarks: "Well, I've never done anything like that before." Of course it's so funny to hear him say that, because of course by then, in 1982, it's become such a cliche' in gay porn; but it's also a hoot because it's RICHARD FUCKIN' LOCKE, star of Gage's 3 previous gay porno films (yes, Richard, you've done it numerous times before, and we loved you everytime!), not to mention that one of those times involved him having sex with, yes, Clay Russell (who can forget the hot scene in the desert in El Paso while Fred Halsted gets it on with the gas station attendant)!

Finally decided what I want to be when I grow up - Spacial Entrepeneur!

not a good idea

If you're feeling blue, never, ever open that folder on your hard drive that contains a handful of emails from the last ex-boyfriend. For some reason, I didn't have my "auto-save" for my emails back in 1999, so only 5 emails got saved from him. I'm not sure why I saved them. They are from a brief period when he was out of town, in Boston, visiting his family because his sister's cancer suddenly re-appeared. The first four are the sort of "she's doing better than I had expected/feared" from mid-May. The fifth, and last one saved is from the first week of June, when he went back up to Boston for her funeral.

It's just so strange to re-read these, feel the sadness, the helplessness of that time. And of course, knowing where the story goes after that. The next three weeks were him vascillating from quiet neediness to growing distancing from me. Both seemed quite normal and appropriate; so when he broke up with me by the end of June, it was, and wasn't, expected.

Oh, another thing, if you plan on re-reading those handful of emails form your last ex-boyfriend, Disc 2 of Marianne Faithfull's Perfect Stranger is perfect. Just make sure you hide the razor blades and kitchen knives.

I never realized what a babyface Dean Coulter has. Not to mention that his head could easily fit inside his armpit. But he is so much prettier than his sister, Ann Coulter.

Celluloid Skyline

I love this picture of Val Martin. It's from Drummer, and if I remember correctly, he's getting painted for a cover photoshoot for the magazine for one of it's earliest issues, I think their first four-color issue (if you have it, give it to me). But what I like about this one is that it's probably the only one I've ever seen of him with no "gear" on. Not that he doesn't look great in gear - believe me, I've had him as my monitor's wallpaper more than once - but it's sort of like "Val Martin, unplugged." He's got an amazing face, and of course his slim muscular body always looks great. But here, something about the angle makes him look just a bit smaller, a bit less unapproachable; and yet still mysterious enough to let you go have your fantasies.

Speaking of fantasies, I don't think I ever finished the "trying to talk to BurritoMan" story from last week. There isn't much more to tell, actually. I stumbled through trying to make conversation as I got his bag of food ready, taking his money, giving him change. When I got off the phone and said a proper hello, I mentioned what a crazy night it had been. Our eyes met as he said, in this sweet ernestness, "Awww, I'm sorry, man." It may sound silly, but there was something about this simple moment, this stranger in his calm reassuring voice sounding like he genuinely cared about my day being crazy. I muttered something about how he should come by some night when I get off, maybe go for a beer. Believe it or not, I have NO IDEA WHAT HE SAID after that! I'm fairly sure it wasn't a refusal, but I don't remember a "sure" or "cool, let's do it" or anything! I do remember that he smiled, and he was trying to put his food in his shoulder bag, struggling a bit, actually. I stuttered over trying to make a joke - "well, you have my number" meaning he had my work number. I made some lame comment about liking his bike; the phone rang, I answered it but put the person on hold, looking back up at him as he was getting ready to leave. He reached over the counter with one arm, to shake my hand, and we did. Again, I have NO IDEA WHAT HE SAID! Nothing remarkable about the handshake, except that it was really our first and only physical contact (no, I don't count putting his $1.31 change into his hand once every week or two as physical contact), and he did it somewhat awkwardly, which of course made it better. Not until after he left did I realize that I never told him my name - and he might not ever have read it off the receipt I leave in his bag. Well, here's hoping he's hungry for a burrito again this week.

It's funny how I can't get the "Awww, I'm sorry, man" out of my head. The past few months of just being a big mope, shunning people I know, feeling sorry for myself; the idea of having someone to just hold on to me, a few words might be exchanged, but having the physical contact of being held, and holding, and finally relaxing, maybe even let out a nice long cry. (No, I wouldn't do it on a first date...... well, probably not.) Late last night, snuggling up here in the bed in my white cotton unionsuit (it's been fuckin' cold here, man!), all grumpy and inert about just about everything in my life, that phrase came into my head, I imagined this guy was here, in my arms, and there was this like 10 minutes of reprieve from it all. Just imagining the simpleist things together - making dinner, watching tv, cuddling up...... just the chance to start over with a new person, sorta re-create myself, getting rid of some of the cruddieness, being reminded of some of the cool stuff that's buried somewhere inside of me. And it has to be physical, ya know. I don't mean that in a sexual way, I mean that in a here and now and in my face and arms and in my home kinda way. Discovering each other, rediscovering myself. I'm babbling.

HOMOSEXUALS IN REVOLT

Last week's news of a certain popstar getting hitched, then the quick annulment of the marriage seemed to really grab the attention of those gay-marriage advocates! While I don't foresee any minds being changed on the issue by her actions --- I sure would love to see us gay folks paying a little less attention to what celebritneys are doing, and a bit more to what average gay joes and josephines are doing.

In case you're wondering, the pic to the left is from LIFE Magazine's The Year in Pictures 1971 issue. There's another picture showing the "zap" of the New York City Clerk's office - when supporters of homosexual marriage appeared with a wedding cake and coffee to protest the clerk's refusal to issue marriage licenses to gay couples.

I suppose it's a compliment when folks remember stuff you wrote many months ago, and ask nicely for you to deliver on the promise. Wait! I didn't actually promise to show the other clip - phewwwww! So we'll just leave it with this still pic from BJ GETS WET.

Some of you folks may know that I have had plenty of trouble with my pals at eBay for selling ADULT ITEMS in their ADULT SECTION - which oddly enough doesn't make me angry and bitter that a good number of these magazine listings are for gay male porno, sold in the regular, non-adult, non-restricted listings. But feel free to browse, you might just find a bargain (I have). Or, how 'bout an overpriced issue of FRESHMEN?

So, fifteen minutes after BurritoMan leaves the restaurant last night, I realize - IT'S TUESDAY! - his routine is Wednesdays... and on occasion Mondays, so what the heck....?

It was a hellish night at work, for some reason the to-go cook decided to close down around 8:15, just as the dinner rush is kicking in. Delivery guys are yelling at me, I eventually get the manager's attention, the phone is ringing off the hook, within 20 minutes the kitchen seems to be back to normal, but the "where's my order" calls start coming in. In the middle of all this, my co-worker has to run to the bathroom, I'm answering the phones, packing bags, and taking orders at the counter. I answer the phone, and I hear "Hey man, I'd like to place a pick-up order" - I think it's him, but it's too crazy to take his order at that second, so i say HOLD PLEASE, and place the phone on the counter so no one else picks up the call. When I get back to the call, "What can I get for you today?" of course it's chicken, black, guac, and hot sauce. Something in my head forces out "Is this E___?" remembering his name from about 6 weeks ago when I first got the nerve to ask for it, but never actually used it. "yeah, man" Gosh I love when he says that. I just need to ask the right question next time (hehe). So I tell him "a bit crazy in here at the moment, but we'll see you in about 10-15 minutes, ok?". So I laid the groundwork, he knows I remember him, and his name, and and, um.... oh yeah, he says "Cool, man, see you then."

For some odd reason, when he gets there in 12 minutes (what, like I wasn't counting the minutes??) I have no co-workers around me, I'm on the phone taking an order, he walks in, I smile as big as I can without looking like a lunatic, he wheels in a bike, which I don't remember ever seeing before, he approaches the counter, I'm trying to keep some eye contact while focusing on the computer screen and someone's desire for delicious Mexican food served hot and with enthusiasm. Oh, this hand is free, I'll wave. Why am I waving at him? He's all of 2 feet away, I stop waving, I finish the call, hang up. "Hey, man."

New Year's Resolutions For Roommates

How lame are New Year's Resolutions, anyway? I'm still working on my solo (I think I mean sole, but as it turns out, boo-hoo, it's also solo) resolution (ewwwwwww! lube on the keyboard!) as I write this. But I was thinking that vowing to lose weight, slowing down on drinking and anonymous sex, bringing down my credit card debt, and being kinder to strangers were things that wouldn't last much past February. What might prove more interesting would be if those of us who live in these tiny 3-room Manhattan apartments tried to make our miserable living conditions a bit more, ya know, livable - by giving the roommates a few tips on how to be better housemates.

No more cologne! Egad! Why do you have to douse yourself with that stinky shit everytime you take a shower?? If you really think that pouring bluish-green elixir on your body helps your sexlife, do it after you have left the building, preferably on the other side of the street.

Dirty Dishes! The bottoms of dishes get dirty, too. Also, when you see a sinkful of dishes, how 'bout washing ALL of them, instead of sorting thru the ones you think you used, and setting aside the ones you think I've used.

Vacuuming and mopping! I know I showed you where the vacuum and the mop were when you moved in. Ever notice that clean, bleachy smell when you get home from work? It comes from this bottle, right here under the sink next to the recyclables that you never put out on recycling day, which, by the way, is every Thursday. And those hairballs on the bathroom floor arent coming only from my pubes, ya know!

CELL PHONE! I realize it's your lifeline to the outside world, but can you refrain from entering the apartment while chatting loudly on the cell with your pals about what you and your pals just did together 15 minutes prior???!!

TV and VCR! OK, I know you dont have a TV, and I shouldn't complain when I'm not even home and you use my set - but please please pllllllease! when borrowing the porno, don't leave it in the VCR so that when I get home from a hard day's work of pushing burritos and mindlessly turn the tube on, I get to see exactly which sexscene made you pop your load! EWWWWWWW!

"the two men met in the back of a book store..."

Is it just me, or is this paragraph from the New York Times kinda, er, .........

"The relationship with Mr. Bradley started long before Dr. Dean's campaign, back around Thanksgiving of 1999. At Dr. Dean's request, the two men met in the back of a book store at the Willowbrook Mall in Wayne, N.J. Though Dr. Dean eventually endorsed Mr. Gore in the 2000 race, he called Mr. Bradley again in late 2002 and, aides say, has done so every six weeks or so since."

Kinda makes you wonder what happened in the back of that book store, doesn't it?

I love this still from one of my all-time fave porn flicks, Steve Scott's WANTED. Speaking of Bijou Video (for those of you paying attention, that's where I grew up, at the Bijou Theatre in Chicago. Once I turned 18, it was legal to see porno flicks, and I quickly became addicted to this place. Still around, and now one of THE places to find vintage porno videos....... but I digress again...) Where was I? Oh, this past weekend I was able to help someone locate a porn flick he appeared in many years ago!

The other night I got a cool email from a guy thanking me for my page on Arthur J. Bressan, Jr. Turns out he (Robert Adams) starred in two of Bressan's early films, Passing Strangers (1974), and Forbidden Letters (1976). Of course I was very excited to hear from him, and wrote back right away. After a few emails back and forth, he said he was in just one other porno flick, "it was called "Do Me Evil" directed by, oh man, I can't remember, but he wasn't on your list. Toby Someone?" Well, you know me, I quickly got to work. Of course I knew he meant Toby Ross, did my Googling, and found the Bijou Video page for Do Me Evil with the video, a few stills, and even a brief film clip. Needless to say, he was excited to get the info, and I even think he's ordering the tape. The next day, he writes and says searching the Bijou data base, he found a great pic of himself with Richard Locke from Forbidden Letters. I then searched my own archives of stills, as I remembered I had posted a clip from Passing Strangers a while back - the only one I had of Mr. Adams was the one to the right here, and I sent it to him, hoping he wouldn't be offended that it was just a dick shot (from the trippy hippies jumping-up-and-down scene). Fortunately, he liked it.

OK, guys, time to take my last few sips of coffee, brush my teeth, and get some chores done.

Owwww. i'm sick; but in that murky not-really-sure-what's-wrong way. Earache, headache, awful churning burpy tummy. I think I have multiple little annoyances happening simultaneously. So of course, I get a phone call from some guy I gave my phone number to about 2 weeks ago, asking to go out for a drink. The answering machine got his message, so I have yet to actually talk to him. Yuck. I mean, I feel yucky, and don't exactly want to blow him off, but don't want to be a crab-ass and tell him I feel yucky-sick. He's only visiting his parents this week on his way back from Brazil (going back to Paris, I think). He's a big boy, furry, and from what I remember, had a hefty, pretty piece of uncut meat. Shame I have no appetitie for meat, or anything else, at the moment. sigh.

So, my Saturday night was working on one of my New Year's Resolutions - making friends with lube. I figured that I am probably missing out on some good sex at the local sex club, cuz I have this bad habit of screeching EEEWWWWWWW! anytime someone grabs my thing with a handful of lube, or I stick my face in a buttful of the stuff. Also, in the unlikely event that I ever have a date, and we get to the sex stage, and the guy is interested in sticking his thingee in my hothairyhole... once again, my gut reaction - EEEWWWWWWW! - to the sight or feel of lube might not be the best way to begin to build a lasting and loving relationship.

I figured I'd start off slow, and just grabbed these sample lube packets out of my drawer (the condoms are in there, too, and I have until May 'til they expire). I popped in a BULLET VIDEOPAC (Target Studios films from the 70's), ripped open the packet, put a few drops you-know-where, stroked a bit, needed more, saw the rest of the packet had leaked onto the bed, tried squeezing out some more, and the videotape featuring the hot Rod Mitchell got me distracted enough that I didn't care.

Well, it wasn't awful, I admit. In fact, I have to say its nice to have a scentless lube - it doesn't interfere with the smell of fresh cum, even if it was just my own. I wound up using up another little packet later, (and another Bullet Videopac, this time with Rod and Bruno) and tried again later in the night. Wasn't bad falling asleep with spunk all over the bed, and me.

Did I mention scoring these classics a few weeks back? Yes, life can be good from time to time. Here's to scoring more good stuff in 2004!

clean underwear