Things I learned this weekend:

• lying in a sling, waiting for your partner to return with his preferred brand of lube, a stranger will attempt to fuck you without as much as a hello or smile
• people with cellphones will chat nonchalantly and loudly about how their day has been, and who they saw on the subway, sitting only 5 feet away from a man tied to a barber chair with his head in a plastic bag and his enormous hard-on being stroked by his partner
• cellphones aren't just for making phonecalls, but can also be used as a flashlights in backrooms, pointed directly at crotches and impatiently waiting for the genitals to expose themselves into the greenish light
• men who insist on being called "SIR" in an instant message conversation will send you facepics of themselves cuddling their adorable Chihuahuas
• the beard still works well as something to grab onto while sucking, buttmuching, and oh-my-god, fucking in a sling in the middle of a room with a mirror above you and several men stroking thier dicks surrounding you
• it is remarkably more of a turn-on than you'd think to have a French man lying across your lap say, as you slap his ass, "I dunt feel anything"
• the imagery of the man sleeping in your bed at 2 in the afternoon is still vivid several days later, even when you've enclosed yourself in one of those play jailcells with a man nibbling at your neck and pulling at your jockstrap