masturbation month

why am I always the last to know these things? I've got a week to catch up, having made the silly mistake of "saving it up" for a few days before my ill-fated date-that-didn't-happen (see my shrill self-pity somewhere below). anyway, looking through a few of my favorite websites for links and shit, and I find out that May is
National Masturbation Month so, I have that Keith Anthoni tape I never finished, ooh ooh, and a new (to me anyway) DEVO 18 minute version of SOMEWHERE (thanks Napster, still a few things left there; well, very few)...

so, changed my pic on the M4M site yesterday, and it was as if I was the new kid on the block, all those emails! but, alas, nothing terribly promising - egad! even a guy from way way back (I guess he didn't recognize me) who I did IT with like 2 days after my best friend had, and ever since we refer to him as "cigarette" - in case you don't know, there's the old joke about the guy who was too timid to ask for sex straight out, so one day, in the dark, he takes his schlong out, and puts it in his potential partner's hand, who responds: "No thanks, I don't smoke"