bj's gay porno-crazed ramblings

Tuesday, October 21, 2003

I fully realize that looking at some codpiece model in an old issue of After Dark and imagining him pouncing on my ass and working up a good old sweat while holding me tight and growling in my ear how much he wants me and loves me isn't a very productive way of dealing with the blues. And maybe listening to Elvis's North and Bjork's 4th disc on her live BOX SET over and over again the past few days won't exactly cheer me up. But I've been around the block enough to know that cheering up isn't what I want, or need. Feeling blue, moody, depressed even, is quite natural; it happens. What's important is what you do with it. And it's ok to go with it, let the worries and insecurities about life, growing older, still alone, unattached, all that, wash over you. It can be immobilizing; it can make the cool October days, getting shorter each day, make you realize it's gonna be a long, cold, lonely winter. It happens. It won't be the first time, it won't be the last.