• last time someone else woke up in my bed: 5 months ago
  
• last time I woke up in someone else's bed: 13 months ago
  
• last time I woke up in the same someone else's bed twice in one week: 2 years ago
  
• last time I got stalked: 6 hours ago
  
• last time I hung my boot off my genitals and got a huge hard-on: 2 days ago
  
• last time I had steady work: 15 months ago
  
• last time I was in a backroom: 10 hours ago
  
• last time I "did something" in a backroom: 7 months ago
  
• last time I had sex (with another human): 9 days ago
  
• last time I had sex with someone who I wanted to "see where it goes": 20 weeks ago
  
• last time "it" went past 3 weeks: 16 months ago
  
• last time I was stood up: 3 days ago
  
• last time I buzzed my head: 36 hours ago
  
• last time I watched porn: 15 hours ago
  
• last time I had a date where i had both dinner AND sex: I have no fucking idea it was so long ago
  
• last time I wanted to slit my wrists: as I typed the above line
  
• last time I said something I really didn't mean: as I typed the above line
  
• last time I fondled myself in a public place: 10 hours ago
  
• last time someone else fondled me in a public place: 3 months ago
  
• last time I had beer, ice cream, and potato chips: 9 hours ago
  
• last time I rested my head on a hairy chest and fell asleep thinking "how can it get any better": 1 year, 11 months, 3 weeks, and 1 day ago.
• last time I felt sorry for myself: oh c'mon! what makes you think I'm that kinda guy???
  
• last time the genes I am most happy about inheriting from my Dad, his sense of humor, came in handy: you do the math
  
• last time I got off my ass to go to the dog run for some serious boy-watching: right after I hit "post and publish"