Tuesday, January 29, 2002

got this email thru one of the many lovely on-line gay "dating" services:

Im interested in being sucked and swallowed.
check my profile and let me know

hmmmm, I'm curious, let me check his profile and see what kind of man I'm gonna swallow........ doh dee doh dee dum dee dum.....
click click click; ah, here we go:

I'm looking for a masculine guy to be naked,
to watch and be watched,
to touch and be touched, j/o ... hot and safe.
muscular +++

Gosh, I really miss the 80's and 90's. "SAFE" meant jerking off - "on me, not in me"; and of course, "SAFER" meant fucking with a latex condom, with lube that includes Nonoxynol-9, or sucking if you don't cum in your partner's mouth.

But today, SAFE, apparently, is a variation on the 68 position (you know, "you blow me, I'll owe you 1") - now it's "I'll fuck your face, shoot a load down your throat, I'm safe" - lovely.

Probably my favorite on-line queer writer is QUEER SCRIBBLES - he's a fantastic writer, very sex-positive, and amazingly thought-provoking. I can't tell you how many times I've read him, and days later I am still thinking about how right-on-target he is. Over a week ago he wrote an excellent piece, and you should go read it NOW. It's more complex than the passage I am about to quote, but, in the world of cheap sleazy casual sex that I try to enjoy, I still can't beleive how few people subscribe to this simple, basic premise:

I have long believed that your HIV status is your business, not mine; I don’t need to know whether you’re positive or not—I just need to have sex with you as if you are. My erotic life is premised on this rudiment of Safer Sex.

he goes on to add: While that keeps things fairly simple for me personally, among gay men the practice of Safer Sex is not as widespread as it once was.

Like I said, read the whole piece. I feel like I am in this really weird tiny minority, probably due to my being on-line way too much, perhaps - squished somewhere between the PNP (Party and Play), Barebacking, Fistfucking, The More The Merrier, etc etc, on the one hand; and these guys who do the whole "HIV- UB2" thing, on the other. Maybe I am stuck in some sort of time warp, where I don't quite get the so-called "miracle drugs" that claim to make AIDS a chronic, manageable disease. (AH, just add these few dozen pills to my regimen of Viagra and Xstacy) And maybe I am also too stuck on the old HIV test results are only as good as 6-months before you took it - But there are folks who are content to just ask a stranger a couple quick questions and feel they are "playing safe" - why trust a stranger to tell you his status and be honest, let alone accurate?? UGH. And one on-line "dating service" has updated their ads so you can click a button to indicate your HIV status - which shows up as GLOWING RED if you are POZ, and GLOWING GREEN if you are NEG. Cute, eh?