Monday, April 28, 2003

I'm a masculine GWM 44 (Mark McGwire/baseball player looks), 5'8 stocky/muscular/slightly overweight 210 (back at gym), brn/blu, moustach/goatee. Seeking monogamous relationship but until then, looking for a regular sex buddy. I love to suck dick a long long time, nipple play, jo, 69 is nice, give/recieve massage. Looking to host at my place day or eve. 2 stops from 125th in the South Bronx. Convenient to train station, live alone, area is good. Be Masculine , friendly & down-to-earth, disease free and MUST BE HIV NEGATIVE! Included a pic. Write to me at ********** or call 718-***-****. Not into email tag. Looking for regular buddy.

OK, now, what's wrong with this ad? Well, besides the fact that he's way way way above 14th St; and yes, let's even forget about the caps and exclamation point for the "must be HIV-", which is a huge turn-off, but he wouldn't know that, and I'm learning to allow people their preferences, even if I have strong views that are markedly different. OK, I'l tell you - it's not an ad! This is an email to me that I read when I got home from work yesterday, via CRUISETOOL.COM. And other than deleting his name, email address, and phone number, I have not altered the email at all. My problem is that it may just as well be spam. No "hey, liked your pic" - no "you're profile looked interesting" or anything at all that would make you think he actually responded to my listing - he just copied his CRUISTOOL AD, and sent it to everyone on the site! I know, I know, it's a sexhook-up site, and I shouldn't expect romance and flowers and courting and all that, but you'd think some sort of acknowledgment that he's actually addressing a specific other person? His ad/email does say he's interested in a relationship, so, um, maybe he should practice a bit with the niceties associated with relationships?

  • "hello. My, what a nice photo of you!"
  • "hey hotstuff, that beard looks might comfy, mind if I have a seat?"
  • "good morning; no, i like my toast burnt - more fiber, you know. Sex last night was fantastic, and your snoring is intoxicating. I have something for you, hold out your hand and close your eyes......"

    OK, clearly the caffeine has kicked in, and I can start my day. Post office, bank, park, then return back here to respond to other emails I've gotten in the past 24 hours, some quite interesting, but not (yet) shareable.