bj's gay porno-crazed ramblings

Tuesday, April 01, 2003


One odd, but beautiful thing about the interent - you can become friends with someone who lives hundreds of miles away, but you know nothing about his family, or his other friends - you pick up little glimpses of his other relationships by listening to him talk about his family and friends, and you learn what is important to him, what makes him tick. You never really learn much about those other people, but you learn more about your friend, and how these other relationships have affected him, making him the person he is today. And then the anguish and anxiety of a sick relative, and suddenly he is no longer the little nephew, but must become "the adult" and make important decisions, and take care of an elderly loved one. Anger, and struggling, and resentment perhaps at times, but he finds himself doing what he must, having learned about kindness and nurturing, and what is important about life, and his relationships, through the helpless person who needs his care now. Nothing seems quite right, he keeps struggling, and as the end draws near, the sadness and solitude may seem quite unbearable. I wish I could take away some of that pain; from this distance, I can't see a frail man in a nursing home taking his last breaths. All I see is a wonderful man rushing to his side, holding his hand, reading him stories, remembering the decades together; tears perhaps, but just maybe some comfort in knowing how lucky he has been to know the sweet man in the bed. And maybe also some comfort knowing that there is someone hundreds of miles east, thinking of him, and happy to know that this uncle has helped make this nephew the sweet man I am happy to call my dear friend.

Thinking About Tomorrow

So long bye my friend so long
So long will it ever happen again
You know that I've been waiting for you
I've been creating for you so long
You know the light ain't fading from you
Nothing could save me from you, so long