"I think you're in the wrong place, buddy"

L. A. TOOL & DIE

"Cocksucker!"
"You better believe it. And if there's anything I like better than sucking cock, it's kicking ass!"

directed by Joe Gage (1979)

Starring: Richard Locke, Will Seagers, Casey Donovan, Derrick Stanton, Paul Baressi, Bob Blount, Richard Youngblood, Johnny Falconberg, Joe Walsh, Michael Kearns, Joseph Kearns, Shawn Victors, Becky Bitter, Dan Pace (aka Rocky Genero), Scott Sinclair, Gregg Dale, Bob Damon, Roy Harwood, Chuck Cord, Matthew Forde, Steve Rideout, Rev. Spoonball (on the radio), Joe Gage and "The Gage Men" (Carlos Balajo, Patrick Graham, Paul Guild, Erling Hitt, Beau Lovejoy, Max Osterhaut, Jose Solica, Nels Stensgaard, Shelly Gard).
Music by Al Steniman, Harmonica solos by Chuck Thatcher.

OK, so you get the little intro, the disco music starts, and..... WHAAAAH? - no sex? Gage took advantage of the fact that he hired some men who could act, and we get this fantastic scene, where Richard Locke first notices Will Seagers (AKA Matt Harper)in the bar, and talks to him in a surprisingly sweet scene out in the parking lot; contrasted with the fun, playful scene in the bar with the homophobe (and you know, just know, that Locke has to have been the one to come up with the "you porkchop!" line). GOD I love Mr Locke! This is the set up for this, the 3rd of Gage's Trilogy, getting Richard Locke back on the road to (have lots of sex in exciting places like trucks, restrooms, etc) er, follow Wiley (Will Seagers) to L. A. OK, so if you haven't yet clicked on the movie, just remember - NO SEX!

Now, I have 3 questions for you to ponder, and hopefully someone can send me answers:

• a] What's the music playing in the bar? (It may well be original music by Al Steinman (pseudonym for some well-repected film composer, but I was sworn to secrecy (not to mention I forgot his name!), who's credited here, as well as on the other of the Trilogy films - he did the haunting theme from the other two...)
• b] What does Locke say out in the parking lot, immediately after saying bye to Wiley? I can't quite make out the first line.
• 3] What is the music playing out in the parking lot? No doubt Locke may have suggested it, as he did with some of the country/bluegrass featured in El Paso.

it's cumming, it's cumming. 'puter crashed 3 times (so far) while typing up the post...

Have I mentioned lately how much I love Joe Gage? No really. And Richard Locke?FUCKk, what a combination. I was just viewing a clip, a clip I've posted before, but with the bandwidth increase alloted by my webhosting co., DreamHost, I'll be positng a fuller version of the scene this time, and it's one of my all-time favorite gay porno non-porno scenes. I'll put it up later, but it's just so perfect, ya know.... (OK, I have no brain and shouldn't even be wasting the space typing this, but ya know...) awww, rats! I just realized I used the wrong copy of L A TOOL (both my TMX versions are too orangey - the GAGETAPE one is the best print I have) and need to do the converting to digital all over again - ARRRGGGHHH!

i love it when you speak french

Je vois la vie en rose

TGIW!

a few hours of work (one last free meal), then as of midnight tonight, my 4-day GAY PRIDE HOLIDAY WEEKEND begins! woo-hoo! locals, and most certainly visitors, feel free to plant a wet smooch on me, and i'm sure i'll be happy to do the same (you bring the breath mint, I'll bring the tongue)

bits and pieces coming back to me (Tuesday Night)

Who am I kidding, I can't go out again, it'll be the 8th night in a row! Moments later, the doorman says hello, parts the shower-curtain entrance for me, nods as i pass by, leaving my 3 dollar admission in my pocket, not sure why I am getting in free. He sees me enough, he must have mistakenly thought I had already been in tonight. As I push my way towards the bar, a hat is placed on my head, I turn, the owner takes it back with a giggle, continuing to dance with his partner. I can't quite make it to the bar, several big guys are ordering drinks at this spot, so I fish in my pocket for some money. Looking up, the bar tender is reaching thru the men, handing me an ice cold Rolling Rock, smiling and waving away my money. (Sweetheart bartender anyway, so the freebie wasn't a surprise, but the pushing thru the guys was cool) Cold beer, loud music, haven't spent any money yet, and all the second hand smoke my all cotton clothing can absorb. Half-way thru this beer, I spot an old friend who I haven't seen out in a helluva long time (partnered, blah blah) so we start to catch up as he leads me to the bar for another beer (freebie!) OK, what's next, the roof gonna fall in? or is some tall goodlooking goateed man gonna chat me up, and finally I get to part with that five dollar bill in pocket for my 3rd beer? He brings back change! Then he leads me over to the couches, where we talk some more, and i finally grab his chin for the first of many kisses.

damn, I'm missing The Cock already....

low hanger

"The lowest-hanging full moon in 18 years is going to play tricks on you this week. Sky watchers have known this for thousands of years: moons hanging low in the sky look unnaturally big. Cameras don't see it, but our eyes do. It's a real illusion." Cool way to start summer, eh? And for the rest of the summer, let's make it a Summer Of Love.

5 A.M.

the slowly lightening sky, the first birds chirping, the hair on my torso sticky and sticking to my flesh, the aroma of the man who left a few minutes ago lingering in the air, Grace Jones's Libertango drifting beautifully from the speakers...

from the THIS SUCKS (and not in the good way) Dept.

Can you imagine flipping thru a copy of HX magazine and discovering that the DOUBLE HEADED DISCO party at NOWHERE has been "pre-empted" by the BIG LUG party? Imagine being the DJs/hosts, my pals Jeff and Pete, who had done all the publicity, posters, flyers, etc., for this Gay Pride Weekend and finding out thru the fuckin' ad in the tacky gay magazine? Grrrrrrr! Looks like I'll be heading uptown for CRUISING instead!

bits and pieces coming back to me, II

The line wasn't too bad this time. My turn, I begin to unbutton as I pull up to the far right urinal, pull out my stuff, look up and thru the fencing that separates this room from the other bathroom, directly across from me is this hottie, who says: "I've dreamt about this moment many times in the past few months" as we both whizz away, lower bodies hidden from each other by the urinal's wall. It's so great when your pals make the other men along side you envious, ya know?

bits and pieces coming back to me

We're standing in front of Mr. Hawk's booth when my buddy shoves a cellular device into my face and tells me to say "hey" to Chas. I say HEY into the machine, but hear nothing, the damn thing is so tiny, or was it because of the beer content and my inability to focus on anything that wasn't visual? Phone pulled back away from me, they wound up talking awhile, I floated off to where the density of men was thicker, and the beer easier to access.

Piss Factory

You look so familiar, on which website have I seen your face? Or was that your dick? Naw, it was longer ago that that; oh shit. I wasn't saying these things out loud, but those few minutes waiting in line together, going back was it ten years? We may have seen each other since, but the last time we would've had a conversation of any sort was at a mutual friend's "service" back in..... '93? Neither of us mentioned that, just mindless chitchat about how he had lost his boyfriend and how I was looking for one to lose. Tons of familiar faces this evening on west 28th st. Got home before midnight miraculously, made food, passed out.

Now it's a bit of a blur, but there was plenty of flirting, beer, some making out, beer, waiting in line for bathrooms, beer, waiting in line for roof access, beer, and a whole lot of that which bar/sexclub/website/dream/nightmare do i know you from? going on most of the night. And there's that one guy, I see all the time, maybe once or twice a week now, totally handsome, and he usually just looks right through me, but today it seemed to be open hostility. Hasfuckin'gottobe my imagination, as we've never met, i just sort of leer and drool each time I see his face, but this was an exchange of money leading to beer, I think, and he couldn't even manage the slightest smile, not a word, or any acknowledgement of my existence but the taking of my cash and the body language of the soup nazi. jeez. has to be my imagination. There was more, but my old beer-drenched head can't remember, and chances are, when I do, I won't have pen and paper to record it.

I would rather smell the way boys smell--
Oh those schoolboys the way their legs flap under the desks in study hall
That odor rising roses and ammonia
And the way their dicks droop like lilacs
Or the way they smell that forbidden acrid smell

WHAT IS..... Duran Duran?

REGmou [4:38 AM]: hi there, very horny bottom here looking to hook up. Hot latin, smooth, hungry and ready to play hard.
REGmou [4:38 AM]: are you Mike? Let us have fun
REGmou [4:38 AM]: my hole is so hungry and loaded with t
REGmou [4:39 AM]: ???

the usual, hungover, running late for work - send postcards!

NOT begging for emails, but

Ever write to some guy, asking a question or paying a compliment, and then never getting a response? Yeah, I know, I'm that guy. Many millions and billions of apologies if I neglected or forgot you. I'm diggin through some stuff, and found a t-shirt here, a video there, etc., that I KNOW, KNOW I promised someone, somewhere, some time ago, but which someone I can't for the life of me remember or trace back looking through old emails. So, if i owe you something, or you suspect some email got tossed in the SPAM folder, feel free to let me know. This is NOT an invite to make shit up (but go ahead, test my memory - wait, was that an invite?) cuz i ain't about to send some porno book to some guy who claims i owe him if it doesn't ring a bell with this old brain.

BTW, yes, that was me shirtless sitting at the bar when the lights came up last night this morning - but i had to - I had this gentleman's agreement with a buddy to always de-shirt when disco comes on (offer good only during Gay Pride Month, and outside of the states of Texas, Utah, and Idaho), and it was fuckin' LOVE HANGOVER ferchrissakes!

(oh, him? the boy up there on the right? he had to leave this morning(ish), but i got the pic before he finished dressing. lips like tequila, butt like....)

I am make nice for visist to new york

shirtless in june

when was the last time you jerked off with a young cutey in a bathroom stall while Ted Nugent's Stranglehold blasted? I don't think of myself as some urinal troll, but i did make several non-essential trips to the urinals, usually with that not-so-goodlooking guy (i am being kind) plopping himself nexxt to me. As desolate as the place was, i had biked all the way up, and the DJ was great, so i continued to pour budweiser down my throat. In fact, i actually felt nostalgic for that visit a few weeks back from Chas (dude! the music was excellent!) I had seen the young man earlier, he didn't seem to pay much attention to me, so i was pelasantly surprised when I happened to be next to him at the urianals and he lingerd after finishing up his business. Pulling on his cock, brushing away other suitors, slight arm-to-arm brushing as i couldn't get mine to harden as quickly as he got his, but he seemed intent on getting off. A momentary dive, as he covered his cock made me realize there would be "none of that" - but he still continued to yank, as did I. taking a risk, i zipped up (slowly, making a bit of a show of my stuff being shoved back into the 'strap) and left the urinals for a stall (leaving in ajar, of course) He washed up at the sink, in view of me, so i yanked and pulled in his sight, and soon he joined me. Ted Nugent was blasting, and it was like i was 17 again, with no actuall sexual expereince, but merely the desire to be near another boy's body. I couldn't help but get vocal as he finally touched me, yanking on my balls as I massaged my own usually insenistive nipple. I knew better than to wait for my partner, and got close, very close. But i growled just slightly, and barely audibly, with some other low noises to key him in, and he was hard and throbbing and apparently reaady to go, too. Without me needing to ask, he shot on me just as i shot down onto our shoes.

afterwards, i saw him ahead of me, walking down the road, and i took it upon myself to escort him to wherever he was going. i warned him of the dnagers of the upcoming block, and he seemed cool with me walking him the nezt several blocks to his subway stop.

a nice easy ride back to my neighborhood, i ran into a buddy at The COCK. more great music, i bought us a round, he remarked on the music and wanting to hear some disco. he also said something about how we should be shirtless, Gay Pride month and all, and again referred to disco as "our people's folk music." When Ms. Summer came on, I immediatley pulled my shirt off with a grin, and he quickly followed. within minutes several other men followed pulling they're shirts up and off. A few guys had yanked on my beard, others grabbed at Pete's body and crotch. it was one of those this is why i live here, in this overcrowded, too-expensive, city-that-used-to-be, moments, ya know?

........now, at 5am, , all ican can add is FUCK SPELLCHECK, i am heading into the matttress, you wanna join me? fuckin' take your shirt off

that dark corner again. he grabs my crotch, i stop, then maneuver behind him. we talk at each other briefly, nothing important or interesting, as he unzips, reaches in, grabs and pulls. another hand is on my thighs, then the back of the 'strap. some kissing, enuf to help me begin to get hard, which is good at this hour and after 3 beers. last call is yelled, and my buddy stops, saying something like: "you know what that means" and walks away. then a tall man is standing besides me, says "nice jockstrap". i am about to say thanks , or something like that, and he adds: "wanna leave?" when i tell him i can't even see him (we're still in the dark corner) he moves closer into the dim red light, "can you see me now?"

He's tall, younger, but not too young, and i reach into his shirt. Fuzzy. Very fuzzy. Sure, let's go. Unlocking the bike, he goes back inside, then out before i give up on him. We walk three blocks, i mention he looks even better in the light. Then we do the "where do you live?" bit. i like to think he's a west village snob as he says he's gonna go wait for that bus on 9th st. but i know it's that i don't look so good in the light to him.

Nomi Song

DVD release today, think I'll order from Amazon, find something else to buy and save on shipping and TAX. Here's something from Nomi's first album, KLAUS NOMI, Nomi Chant / Samson And Delilah (Aria) (courtesy of my good pal, Jeff co-host of the last Saturday of the month DOUBLE HEADED DISCO party at Nowhere.) While looking for some cool pics of Mr. Nomi, I found this great set of stills - including a great one of Man Parrish.

traduisez svp

To: fuzzzy@*****.com
Sent: Monday, June 13, 2005 1:52 PM
Subject: Saw you on Bigmusclebears.com

Splendid(e), mais on reste sur sa faim (hangry)! On voudrait bien en voir plus, et beaucoup plus (more, more and more).
Bien à toi (friendly),
G.M.

I realize I could try to do it myself, but when i typed in "please translate" into BABELFISH, they gave me the "traduisez svp", which, if i remember my high school French at all, "svp" isn't a word, but an abbreviation for "s'il vous plait", n'est-ce pas? But in the unlikely scenario that this is the man of my dreams, I don't want the language barrier to be a barrier to my future happiness, full of hot sex, late morning snugglings, and, well, more hot sex.

Sylvester's version of Living For The City ---- give it a few minutes, I think about 2, 2-1/2 minutes in it gets good, real good. Would love to have the 12 inch (how often do I think that?)

Remember HOT RS (House Of The Rising Sun) from the 70s?

Me neither. But the other day when I posted here about DUNE BUDDIES, our crack team of DISCO FANS got right on it when I asked if anyone could identify the music. The same guy who came thru a few months back (Action '78 Part 2 (Remix) by the Erotic Drum Band) on the dance-floor number in William Higgin's Boys of Venice that was driving me crazy, dj-johnny-nyc, did it again and emailed me with the correct song and group. . I've spent the past several days trying to find an mp3 of it, to no avail. But I did find tidbits of additional info - "HOT RS was the name of a faceless (South African) disco-rock studio band and also the name of their first album released in 1977. That album featured a 14 minutes plus disco-rock reworking of the classic House of The Rising Sun, made famous by the Animals in 1964. Their second album 'Forbidden Fruit' had as it's centrepiece a cover of Iron Butterfly's 1968 classic 'In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida' cleverly combined with Frankie Vaughan's 1957 hit 'Garden Of Eden'."

There's this 30 second intro on a Russian website, which confirmed for me he was right, and you can listen to a not-so-good 2003 remix, from the HOT R.S. II album. But at this point, after downloading too many variations of House of the Rising Sun (Sinead O'Connor still has the best cover of it, IMHO) and listening to too much disco, I kinda dig this one, Frijid Pink's 1970 version of HOUSE OF THE RISING SUN.

OLD COCK

preserving our Gay History, one misdemeanor at a time

I slid my hand in, moving up slowly, loosening as my hand moved around, feeling around. Pop, pop, as I could feel the sheet getting loose from the staples, and as I reached up higher, someone reached into my pants, higher and higher until he found my jockstrap. Grabbing firmly, he continued his mission as I did mine. I inadvertently let one, then a second, of those round Cock/O.J. pictures loosen and fall behind the banguette, moving higher and over further until.... GASP! Somehow, despite all the beer in me, the man managed to squeeze out a hard-on, and just as I popped the last staple free, and the poster fell gently into my arms. Still standing, still being fondled, I took my time folding it carefully, then jumped onto the floor. Sitting next to my new friend (actually, as it turns out, our body parts had intermingled a few times before), he laughed slightly as he acknowledged my prize. Then he plopped his face in my lap, and as I noticed we were being watched by several nearby men, I felt compelled to be a bit more openly enthusiastic, pumping harder, and pushing both my arms firmly down on his head. Another guy moved closer, reached into my companion's pants, and found something hard to grab onto for the ride. Inhaling second-hand smoke, the music thumping, and my hips pushing up, it wasn't too long before my buddy sat back up, his cock falling from the other guy's hand. So, well, (duh) I had to have some.... It wasn't 90 seconds before he gasped something about him being about to do something, I lifted myself up off of him, but grabbed him with my left hand, his breathing stopped for two seconds, then faster as the gut on the other side of him schlomped down on him as he let out a low moan.

Where did i leave my beer? Ah, those cargo shorts are good for something.... Glad I was wise enough to shove it in the pocket that wasn't holding what's left of that joint (thanks, Scott, still smoking it a week later). I have no idea how much longer I stayed, the music was good and loud, the place was still fairly full, but my thoughts were turning to "what's in the fridge" so I stumbled out, unlocked the bike, you know the rest.

An article in Gay City News, More Stringent Sex Club Inspections a week or two ago made me laugh "Some of the 165 businesses were inspected once, others got dozens of inspections and one received nearly 200 visits. Five gay bars - the Eagle, the Slide, the Cock, Urge and Boysroom - have been inspected 402 times since 2002 with the most recent visits coming in March and April of this year. Boysroom, on Avenue A, has been inspected 18 times with 31 violations found while the Cock, also on Avenue A, has been inspected 185 times with violations observed eight times." Clearly, Boysroom is doing something wrong, while The Cock must "know somebody" - ahem!.....so it's the last few weeks at the OLD COCK. Fairly doubtful that the new location will be as fun, but I'll try to keep an open......

so busy....

...being lazy. You can't imagine the amount of stuff I haven't done in the past coupla days. And horny as all f*ck, too!

disco help

DUNE BUDDIES

director: Jack Deveau (1978)

Starring: Malo, Larry Paige, Hugh Allen, Garry Hunt, David (Paolo) Gorsky, Matt Harper (aka Will Seagers), Myles Longue (aka Ed Wiley) and Pepe Brazil. Written by Moose 100; edited by Robert Alvarez.

A New York City teacher (Malo) needs to get away from the constant cruising and pick-ups of Manhattan by taking a month at the beach - Fire Island! In this particular scene, he's hurt his ankle while (drunkenly) stumbling through the dunes in Fire Island (after leaving a small orgy), finds a tent where Myles Longue is whacking off, and so of course they must get it on (and somehow he tops Myles despite his injury). BUT, who can identify the music? I know that Deveau/Hand In Hand sometimes used original music, but there are no music credits listed, so my guess is that this must be a commercially made tune. Any ideas?

where the F*CK is my editor?

I don't mind being corrected for stuff i get wrong - it happens all the time, of course. But the latest correction had me puzzled as I was told I got the lyrics for NATIVE NEW YORKER wrong. Going back to the post, reading re-reading the title tags several times (who the hell reads those, anyway) and comparing it to the angry emailer's email, I was certain I wasn't wrong. Then I kept reading, and saw my mistake was later - I got the name of Dennis Parker's song wrong - I mean, of course it wasn't the same, Native New Yorker - I got the actual correct song uploaded, New York By Night, but my lazy ass forgot to chance the name when I copied and pasted the HTML code.

Speaking of DISCO, I can't wait 'til SPERM's Grand Re-Opening Party at it's new location tonight. I think I mentioned the other day that MAN PARRISH won't be moving with the COCK to their new location' but is moving his SPERM PARTY to Club Opaline; 2 DJ's (I spotted the other DJ, Nikko, taking a cig break while setting up this afternoon) on 2 dance floors, a "dark lounge" and hehe, sorry, it's in the email, but it has me laughing as I type - CLEAN BATHROOMS - yeah, right! If ya gotta put that in the emails, you're just asking for us to dirty it up!

rumours

NO NO NO!
I was not at the urinals getting my cocksucked last night. It was the guy next to me - older than me, his beard was entirely white, his beer belly was much bigger than mine, and his cock was much thicker, and saltier, than mine. I just don't know how these rumours get started!

yes, more disco

Actually, this is a delay tactic - after yesterday's post, I got a bunch of emails about disco, one correcting my attribution of Is It All Over My Face to Larry Levan (he remixed it). But also, a pal of mine wanted to know the music played during the scene in Jack Deveau's Dune Buddies where Malo has sex with some guy in a tent in the dunes of Fire Island. Of course, I knew WHO he had sex with (Myles Longue - DUH!) but didn't remember the music, nor could I figure it out once I popped the tape into the machine and FF'd to the scene. Sometimes Deveau used original music, but since there is no music credited, I have to believe it was a commercially released song. So I hope to upload a part of the scene so you disco experts out there can help me.

Meanwhile, here's something that Kid Creole (coco)nut August Darnell co-wrote and produced for Machine - There But For The Grace Of God Go I. OMG!! - when did they change: (Baby, she turns out to be a natural freak), Popping pills and smoking weed to (Baby, she turns out to be a natural freak) Gaining weight and loosing sleep????

If you prefer strings and horns in your disco - how 'bout Odyssey's Native New Yorker; of course, i like mine a tad sleazier, and so one I've posted several times in the past, but i never get tired of, Dennis Parker's (who you may remember from such porno films as: Exploring Young Girls and Boynapped!, and his soap opera, The Edge of Night - as Det. Derek Mallory ) (correction: Native New Yorker - duh; this must be the 15th time I lost my GAY CARD this week!)New York By Night. The song shows up in Francis Ellie's Boots and Saddles, which was shot ON LOCATION at the (in)famous Christopher Stret bar. The lyrics are both awful and fantabulous:

At 53rd and 3rd, a dollar is the word
turn that trick, you better hurry kid

This is New York By Night, This is New York By Night
filled with glamour, drama, laughter and spice.....

and spice???

it's "our people's" folk music

I think i was gonna mention something about The Cock again, but got distracted sending a list of disco music to a goodlooking DJ guy i've been harassing messaging on BMB. It's funny, cuz so much of the "classics" were things I never enjoyed at the time they came out (remember - I was a teenager in Chicago in the 70's, the home of the DISCO SUCKS 'movement') but my, um, 'fondness' for good old porn stored some of this stuff in the back of my head, so now old disco conjures up youthful days - er, nights - in porno theatres way back when.

A couple weeks back, late late at night, at you-know-where, trying to get the last few hits out of some donated joint, we were yapping about the music, and one of my bar buddies put it well - it's "our people's" folk music. Which I guess concisely expalins why every June I get all goofy and pull the stuff out and annoy the neighbors with the thumping blasting from my little computer speakers. Here's a coupla faves:

• Rosebud's Have a Cigar (yes, a disco cover of Pink Floyd)
• Larry Levan's Loose Joints (uh-huh, it IS all over my face)
  [correction: Larry Levan's remix of Loose Joint's Is It All Over My Face (Arthur Russell) - i guess it really is all over my face...]
• Munich Machine's Whiter Shade of Pale (I know, I know, I post this song every couple of months, but it's played prominently in William Higgins's classic The Boys Of Venice (which I also talk about every few months....)

Social Dexterity

So nice to see when a buddy gets well-deserved recognition for his writing.

Happy Gay Pride Month!

gosh, posting before noon? I must've had a good night - but more about that later. Many of you locals have heard the rumors (true) that the Cock is closing, er, moving. Some time this or next month, they close down their 12th St. location, and The Cock moves into The Hole. And there's been all sorts of rumors about when that will take place - but me and a friend went by Sunday night, and saw Man Parrish - the sunday night DJ - outside, handing out cards for his party, SPERM SUNDAYS, which apparently WON'T be moving with the Cock, but is setting up at a new place down the road on Avenue A (dangerously close to where I work!) Got a chance to chat with him, and things weren't working out with the owner and him, hence the break. Will be interesting to see how that works out, but I've got my 1/2 price flyer and will be sure to check it out this Sunday the 5th - if for no other reason than to try to get more dirt from Mr Parrish about what's going on with The Cock!

more Moose, please

previous pic seemed to go over well, so here's more Moose. What a doll! Tell me you wouldn't want to be sitting on his face with that gorgeous tongue attacking your crotch!

my imaginary boyfriend

Nothing says EAT MY HOT HAIRY HOLE like wicker, you know? You just can't guess how strong my tongue would get with his..... Gee, I wouldn't know where to start (OK, so maybe i do know - so get out of the way!) But, alas, he's just another classic pornstar, one of the many that I ought to do a filmography/videography on; but I'm sure SMUTJUNKIES must have a good page, no?

name the pornstar

I think somewhere on BMB they said not to copy pics, or use them on other sites, but I figure if this guy can use 20-year old copyrighted pics, why not me? So, guess the pornstar's name(s) and win bonus points. Guess the magazine these pics came from, and get double bonus points. (For triple points, find me, count my jockstraps, and name the brand of Häagen-Dazs)

miss me?

back from chicago; can't think of much to say, honestly. But thanks to the folks who wrote, and even those who didn't, but checked in since my last, apparently vague, posting a week ago. If you look closely at the pic, you'll see the little hand I am clutching - that of my youngest niece. I took an extra day after my uncle's wake and funeral to just hang with my immediate family. Thursday, my two sisters, my niece, and I spent a couple hours together - a Mexican restaurant, and some time at the lakefront. My Dad loved the lakefront, and since his passing, I have tried to go there each time I visit Chicago to think, and remember him. So much better than walking alone in the sand , it was wonderful to spend time with my sisters and my little adorable niece. I hope years from now, my nieces and nephews have the same types of wonderful memories I have from my childhood with my aunts and uncles. I need to work a bit more on that.

Who does this? Within a couple hours of the news, I am in someone else's bed. I am trying not to think of my inattention; he's sweet, doesn't seem to mind, and is treating me well. Then today, after talking to Mom on the phone, I decide I must go to the barber. She had told me two days earlier, just in case, that I am not expected to come. But now I am thinking, just in case, I should look a bit less, um, I dunno, threatening? An expired I.D., getting on an airplane in this day and age, why not look a bit more presentable, and Mom would probably apprecite me not looking so shaggy. I instruct the barber what I want - shorter, but fuller in the mustache, chin. I tell him this two or three times, knowing full well I won't like what he does anyway. But it'll look better in a few days, right? And besides, it does grow back. Clip clip clip, then chair released downward for the shave. My mind wanders, I am not relaxed, these kids are noisy, why did i come after school hours? Radio isn't even on the corny, yet soothing station the barbers always used to play; Blondie-disco-hit, I think about how amazing all the aunts and uncles were when my Dad died. Hard to believe it was over ten years ago. All on my Mom's side of the family, Dad was an only child. Now, one of them is gone, at age 54. The 8th of nine kids, my Mom's little brother. She was sixteen when he was born. I am not sitting in a barber's chair crying.

The backs of my calves are so sore! (do calves have fronts?) And as much as I still want Hugo, I think he's more the marrying type - especially for cuddling and eating in bed; Dave Allen is hotter, and I think would be better for a short, but intense, fuck-all-night everynight affair. Still, it was HUGO's name I was yelling once again for the encores (yelling DAVE! just doesn't have any zing to it, ya know?) I don't know how those guys do it - two night's as an audience member, and I nearly need hospitalization!

9am update: no, really, I can barely make it into the next room for coffee; may have to stay in bed all day - anyone out there DELIVER?

While others plot the fate of nations
We spent afternoons in an embrace

Who the F*CK kept screaming HUGO! HUGO! HUGO! HEW-GO! at the end of the second encore, after the always last song, Damaged Goods? Oh, right.
me.
But fuck, man, that drummer is f*ckin' hot!

BEST
LIVE
BAND
EVER!!!!

still

And don't get on me about him being str8, and married, and all that - the chances that man and I would ever meet are, well, anyway, he's hot. I want to do it with him, and my legs are still wobbly from last night. (those are two separate thoughts, mind you; don't know why they are in the same sentence) I wonder if he prefers to be called Professor Burnham? I've always had a thing for men who teach. (Hugo, 1979) Anyway, as you probably can tell, it was fanfuckintastic, and I wouldn't know how to begin describing it. I was somewhat nervous that there would be no way in hell these men could possibly do as good a job as 20+ years ago when I saw them last (Ritz, NYC) or back in Chicago in '82. And I will admit that during the first song it seemed a bit shaky (good, but living up to BEST LIVE BAND EVER is tough, ya know?), but by At Home He's A Tourist the place went f*ckin mad! Or maybe it was just me; I do remember wondering why, with all my hop-thrash-"dancing", I wasn't bumping into the people around me much - maybe they were steering clear. And what song was that where Jon was baseball-batting the microwave oven? And he still has the most incredible stage presence - that caged animal pacing and screaming and bizarre-crazed-restraint in some of the singing.... I could go on (and to the first 5 or 6 men I spoke to at BIG LUG last night after the show, my apologies for going on, and on, and on...). Not Great Men made me giggle. It's my sister's fault. Back in the early 80's, when we'd go to EXIT in Chicago, they'd play all sorts of cool shit - but for some reason, my sister wouldn't hear the actual lyrics "It's not made by great men, It's not made by great men.." she'd hear: "It's my favorite breakfast..." which I inadvertently started singling aloud! Fortunately, know one would hear me. And of course, just like any teenager going to see his favorite band, I had hoped and hoped they'd play my favorite song, but knew I couldn't actually wish for it out loud, or tell anyone, then it wouldn't happen, right? And it's tough to pick a favorite song, especially when you turn on one of their albums, and each successive song you turn the volume up louder, thinking "this is their best song." But the one that would always, ALWAYS get me running to the dancefloor at EXIT, just those first few guitar notes, they did near the end of the set, and it COULD NOT HAVE BEEN BETTER - not even on one of their albums, but on their (2nd, 3rd?) E.P. - Another Day, Another Dollar - To Hell With Poverty (1982) - and the crowd, and me, more than anyone, went wild - and it's one of those great songs that you not only don't mind everyone singing along, you give dirty looks to the one's who aren't, ya know?

In this land right now
some are insane, and they're in charge

I wonder if I have time to make a I LOVE HUGO t-shirt before tonight's show?

Sometimes I think money sex is my only goal

it makes me sad
Food coming up, another four miles
Coffee, fries and a cheeseburger

gee is for GARBAGE

Waking up on the wrong side of the bed requires that I be on the fire escape, which didn't happen (today) so it must've happened sometime after I got out of bed, poured some coffee, and started clicking around the internet. The computer crashed right on schedule, just as I was about to "I LIKE" something (er, someone) on BigMuscleBear. Staring at the blue screen, i thought I would listen to some music on the stereo while brushing my teeth, and made the bad decision of grabbing one of my many GARBAGE singles and plopping it into the CD changer and turning up the volume. About 15 seconds into You Look So Fine, I was crying. VERSION 2.0 was a wonderful record, but I forgot why I hardly ever listen to it anymore. The mistake might be listening only to the slow songs, like that single this morning. It goes back to 1999, the last man I loved, LOVED! - or so I thought. who knows, and i don't care - i've been overanalyzing this for 5 fucking years! Anyhoo.... He used to love all the Garbage CD singles I'd buy, especially after the first break-up and the getting-back-together without discussing if we were actually getting-back-together period. He's stand there, in his boxers and dago t-shirt, grooving to whatever latest discs I bought, while i just sat and admired and loved his hairy shoulders, his scruffy face, his scent. I honestly think the scent thing is what I can't get over - it just overwhelmed me and made me crazyhappy and crazycrazy and crazysad. Grrrrrrr - I need some Medication!

I FEEL A CHANGE, A NEW LIFESTYLE; I'M GETTING READY FOR SOMETHING WILD

SOMETHING WILD

"Hey! There's a coupla guys doing the dirty deed!"

director: Robert Walters (1984) 115 minutes!!

Starring: Glen Armstrong, Scott Avery, Randy Page, Greg Girard (in his first film), Cory Adams, Gavin Burke (aka Rob Montessa), Brian Michaels (aka Bobby Madison), Bud Adams, Ron Collier, Eliot Higgins, Phil Shannon, Wade Davis

gonna have to cheat a bit, and copy/paste my own eBay description, as I need to get my ass (and the rest of me, of course) to work. bUT BEFORE i DO THIS, A COUPLE QUICK NOTES - I just had to show the opening credits, as it shows each lead character, and more importantly, you get to hear the complete theme song, Something Wild; the hot warehouse scene includes the incredulicious Bobby Madison (AKA Brian Michaels) who many of you would remember from The Bigger The Better with his teacher, Matt Ramsey (AKA Peter North), pumping iron (and each other) in the teachers apartment; Greg Girard's first porno film (he's the top in this scene) co-incidentally, is in the other video I have up for sale, Head Trips, (and a clip below from a different scene from that film is shown below), a father/son theme that competes for HOTNESSth with the notorious one from El Paso Wreckign Corp.. ....... am I late for work yet???? Oh yeah, it's a long clip, about 9 minutes, so sit back and enjoy!

"This film is the first full-sound, full-scale release from Nova Studios. Curly blond Scott Avery and Glen Armstrong are two backpackers exchanging sex stories over an evening's campfire as they spend their spring break in the High Sierras."

What sets NOVA Films a part is that every scene has multiple orgasms, well-photographed from more than one angle. This is the original uncut, full-version that was released by NOVA in the 80's; NOT the chopped up 60-minute version sold by MIDNIGHT MEN video.

• scene 1: Scott Avery and Glen Armstrong are going for a hike in the woods, and spy on 2 guys in a cabin fully going at it. The young men watching are humorous in their awe, while the two inside the cabin never notice, and have a fun, frisky romp - very William Higgin-esque.
• scene 2: Sitting around the campfire that night, Scott tells a story about his friend, well-muscled, very handsome Gavin Burke (known as Rob Montessa in other films) and a black college professor (Eliot Higgins) in the stacks of the library. These guys barely finish their first orgasms as they go at it again - where Burke performs auto-fellatio as the black professor takes full advantage of the student being flipped over himself.
• scene 3: Glen Armstrong recounts a story about himself during a job interview, applying for a warehouse position and being asked "Glen, how liberal are you?" When he responds that he worked for Senator Kennedy's campaign, he is interrupted and told that there is a lot of sex at the place The interviewer tells him a story of himself and 3 co-workers. A worker pair are seen coming on to each other by the bossman (redheaded, super-hung Wade Davis) and another worker (all-American Brian Michaels - AKA Bobby Madison), and they turned on to each other in the process. Two separate scenes transpire as the one pair watched the other. The Wade/Michaels pairing is often considered the best pairing in the entire video. When each pair finishes up, the two twosomes become a hot 4-way! (note: good chunks of this scene are missing from the subsequent Midnight Men release!)
• scene 4: Back to the interview, where Armstrong is initiated into a hot man-on-man sex by his perspective boss, well-endowed Wade Davis.
• scene 5: Story five is about kissing cousins: country Avery leads his city cousin (square-jawed and naturally built Randy Page) into a sleepover that turns into a lesson in sex for Scott by his apparently well-schooled cousin. (note: this hot scene is completely missing form the latter releases!)
• scene 6: Glen and Scott eventually in the tent together. Unlike most films that finally have the pairing you've been waiting for, these men obviously have chemistry, and devour each other in, on, and around their sleeping bags!

• there's even a theme song: "Something Wild" written and performed by Garth Evans. The other music is actually top-notch, jazzy 70's instrumentals during all the sex scenes.

I feel a change, a new lifestyle...

... I think I was gonna post that clip from Something Wild... i'll sober up and try later.

Angst In My Pants

ouch. there was stuff i was gonna do today, my only day off work this week. but, um, i can still taste the tequila in my beard.... I remember thinking "use your indoor voice" as the man explained at 10am why he was leaving my bed.... I drove past the former home of a great bar, now the "SPIKE GALLERY," on my way to The Eagle. A man came up and asked something about a bj, took me a few seconds to realize he meant that pornoblogging guy, BJ; turns out he'd written me months ago, but I never answered (sorry, Andy - hope you are enjoying your stay in NYC, and hope you are resting your face on the handsome furry chest of the handsome furry man you were chatting with when I stumbled out of that place 3 or 4 beers later). And my pants died. No longer a humorous snap or two popping open, it is practically impossible for me to keep them snapped up for more than 3 minutes at a time. Riding the bike across town, the top four of the five snaps undone, I realized the thighs were too tight, as well. I am still clinging to the notion that at least in the thighs, it's muscle that has grown, not fat. Please don't tell me I am wrong. So I avoided all the scary straight clubs on 10th avenue by going up the West Side Highway instead, imagining sex scenarios that surely no longer take place over there. The handsome man guarding the leather curtain smiled and allowed my 4 second drool before I went past him seeking 3 dollar beer(s). Then I paced the three floors, looking but not finding. Back downtown, locking up the bike outside of the Cock, settling for having the bottom two snaps fastened as I gave the big man at the door my money, the place was packed. Cuter, but younger crowd, the volume of the music made it ok for awhile. At one point I looked up and saw the handsome bartender, Javier, standing on top of the bar; instincts pulled me over, and his hand pulled at my chin and poured the golden liquor down my throat, splattering a good bit on my face and into the beard. I don't know how long I was there before I noticed the man who has been in my bed before, and would be again later. He had a big big smile when he saw me - undeserved, as I hadn't called him back after either of the previous times together. Nonetheless I hugged, and clung like a lost puppy who finally found a warm place to sleep. He fondled and groped body parts, and I rubbed and grabbed facial hair, and we didn't seem to need to say anything to indicate he was coming to my place, but he grabbed his coatchecked thing, the lights came on, we headed to the sidewalk with the rest of the, um, patrons.

This Universe of Men

One of a zillion reasons why I am so unfocused and scatterbrained is that, well, OK, I don't know WHY, I just know there are about a dozen or so things on my mind at the moment, and this inability to focus on just one and get it over with (i.e. those two bills that are past due, and I have the money in the bank, just stop typing this, write out the checks, stick it in something and lick something and ....) plus I have this stack of books I need to sell (need the $$$ desperately, and need the shelf space, too), but each thing I feel the need to exhaustively research before posting! Partly because I don't want to be underselling something valuable, or - egad! - something rare or hard to find; plus I really strive to give as much info as possible to the potential buyers - the way I like to buy stuff online, ya know?

Anyway, I think this book, This Universe of Men, "a collection of erotic science fiction tales" by Greg Logan and illustrated by R. A. Shultz (Firsthand Books, 1992) is out of print. But that alone doesn't help me figure out if I should keep it, save it as a gift for some so far unrevealed collector friend, or just get it over with and post in on eBay. Grrrrrrrrrrr!

Brothers In Rhythm

Having gotten way 2 drunk 4 out of the previous 5 nights, what do you think I did last night? Got even drunker, came home and ate everything in sight and didn't get entirely out of bed until about 2:30ish. Ugh. Got a little bit of the blues late last night, that sort of WOW what a great few nights, oh, it's over feeling. But then drifted into a brief which thing was the most fun thing we did nostalgia and lightened up. I'm sort of stuck between two favorites:

• three gayboys eating take-out dinner, howling, i mean HOWLING at the double episodes of The Simpsons Sunday Night
• late Monday night/early Tuesday morning, after several beers at a local groovy bar on Avenue C, eating ice cream while I played a mini-miss kittin set for my buddy.

And speaking of cool music, here's the Garbage re-mix of Special I mentioned to Mr Chas during one of those drunken outings.

Chaswithdrawal

My god, it's so f*kin' weird stumblin out if bed to take a piss, and not seeing Chas on the kitchen floor, sleeping.

The Mildred is in mourning.

motherfuckers are so nice

Not that I didn't enjoy every friggin' minute of his stay, but he did start to get a tad out of control. With way too much attention from way too many men, I think it started to go to his head, making ugly faces at babies, shoving strangers out of his way, singing "to be famous is so nice, suck my dick, kiss my ass," as he pushed them to the ground.....

.... I hope New York can recover...

HEAD TRIPS

director: Al Parker (1984)

Starring: Al Parker, Cole Taylor, Tico Patterson, Vincent Thomas, Rydar Hanson, Michael Charles, Drake Woods, Ed Wiley (AKA Myles Longue), Greg Girrard

Al Parker's take on virtual reality. In this great little film from 1984, men sit down in a chair, pull on some space-age goggle-thingees, plop in some coins, and select from a menu which fantasy they'd like to see (partake in). Pornstar, Fireman, Father, Restaurant (yeah, seems odd, but when you view the clip with waiter Tico Patterson, you'll see it's pretty cool), etc. Trivia fans will notice that's Al Parker and his lover, Steve Taylor (bearded), at the next table, watching the three-way progress. Too hung over (thanks, Chas) to say more - enjoy!

Of course, eBaying this.

don't worry, I kicked him to make sure he's still alive

we spent the whole afternoon deciding which jockstraps to wear

Today has never happened and it doesn't frighten me

Not another Ode To Bjork!!??? As the kids say, DEAL. All Is Full of Love is my favorite I-don't-feel-loved pick-me-up song; Alarm Call, however, is the one that helps remind me to dig in deep and rediscover the adventurous part of me. It's down there somewhere, and with my houseguest arriving soon, I may not need it (small steps first, he's forcing me above 14th St. for some drinking tonight). So, here's some remixes, frenchstyle.

• ALARM CALL French Edit
• ALARM CALL French Dub

How embarrassing! Once again, I forgot to use spellcheck.

WORKOUT

director: Alan Purnell (1982)

Starring: Morgan Winner (body-builder), COLT model Toby, Ross Sanderson, and Peter Moran (+ 3 others?)

background: an early '80's import from Britain, a rarity as that country made it difficult for adult films to be produced there. Originally released in the States on the GAGETAPE label; more recently on the inferior HIS Video label. The director was well-known still photographer, Alan Purnell (popular in European magazines, who was also editor of Him Monthly (aka Him Exclusive), published from 1976 thru the early 80's, I think, which also produced the film). This mixes film and new (at the time) video effects. Lots of foreplay, the tape builds towards the end (and that's when we see the climaxes). Somehow he got COLT model Toby to come out of retirement for this film (who also did a cover for HIM), but oddly, TOBY's presence wasn't the advertised angle; rather, Morgan Winner (a good looking man, don't get me wrong!).

The version I have up for auction, and you won't see any difference in the clip I've posted, is called JOCKSTRAPS LEVIS & LEATHER from the infamous FRAT HOUSE BOYS (they did lots of amateur, hidden camera, that sort of thing, in the 90's), and has a few xtra minutes of footage from some uncredited boxing/wrestling/sucking on the mat thing, plus 95% of the original film - I can't tell what besides the original credits are missing. It's an odd little thing that I've hung on to for about 2-3 years deciding how, and whether, to sell.

Of course, eBaying this tape (god knows the auction might be over (4pm Wednesday) by the time you read this.

Now, here's my semi-monthly (short-version) rant on HIS VIDEO, which now has the rights to this tape. Look - LOOK, DAMNIT! at the cover they use for the video (left, below) then compare it to the original packaging. Then, consider that TOBY (TOBY's face pic is #3 above, cockpic is #4 above; plus on backcover of original 1982 box, 3rd pic below, he's top left in leather, bottom right about to suck some cock - who doesn't want to see TOBY suck cock?), 70's huge uncut COLT porn star fuckin' TOBY is in the film; TOBY who has only ever done 4 films in his entire friggin' pornstar life; TOBY! who AL Parker, fuckin' GOD of PORNSTARS Al fuckin' Parker told Rip Colt when he first signed with COLT that his dream, his fantasy, his ultimate scene would be to do anything with TOBY! (which they did in Chute soon after that), that THE reason he singed with COLT was that it had his fuckin' idol, TOBY, in it. Now, look again at that lame-ass twinky shaved body model cover (who isn't even in the friggin movie, ferchrissakes!!) and tell me I'm making too big of a deal over these folks who have NO RIGHT TO OWN THESE MOVIES they can't market correctly!! Really, who would you rather have sex with, or at least watch have sex? And if, which is OK, you'd rather have watch the twinkyguy in the HIS pic, well, TOUGH SHIT! cuz he is no where to be found on that tape!

Que'est-ce-que-c'est TOBY?

Gotta run to work, but if you're good, I'll post a clip late late tonight from a video auction that ends Wednesday afternoon - JOCKSTRAPS LEVIS & LEATHER aka WORKOUT, which features 70's COLT model TOBY in his last ever adult video performance.

Interested?