bj's gay porno-crazed ramblings

Monday, April 08, 2002
do you have anything to live for?
The question came at me at an odd moment, but not in a bad way. After my pal and I had gotten back into the neighborhood Saturday night, and were walking east, he asked this. I may not even have the exact wording of the question, but it oddly didn't take me long to answer - "life". He smiled; you know, in that, oh, o.k., it's a weird question and you're giving me a non-answer kinda way. But I continued, having had such a nice evening. "I mean, to experience what life has to offer me - like tonight, it was wonderful. Within 10 minutes of the performance, I was so overcome with emotion, I thought i would cry - just looking at these beautiful weird underwater creatures, moving about in these crazy ways; and this French Scientist who found it so wonderful that he had to film, and study, and show people, and this band, having seen these films, and becoming so inspired to create this amazing music, and organizing this show......." And while I didn't really complete the thought out loud, I think he knew where it went - and to having great friends who then share this stuff with me......

honestly, after doing the teeny bit of "research" to see what the performance was about - I'm not familiar with Yo La Tengo (although I realized later I had some covers of Ramones songs on my hard drive!) and definately not this scientist/film-maker, I stopped. I wanted to experience the show with as little preconceptions as possible. But from the first film - old, black and white, a bit murky - it was so playful, and the crabs looked totally out of some 50's sci-fi film ( who knows, maybe the films were used later in some of these!), and the music, sometimes whimsical, sometimes soothing or jarring, and hitting somewhere deep inside - it was hard to decide which I liked better. Obviously there was no need to choose; and sitting back, absorbing the visuals, the sounds, and the translated text on the films themselves, it was simply amazing. And I was glad I was already in this great unexplained good mood from the morning - you know how sometimes you look at something beautfilul and think "why can't I do that?" - I was so happy to be in that "gosh, how fuckin' wonderful that you did that" kinda mood.